tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-388088442024-02-19T00:15:21.331-05:00Film Blender<strong>A blog devoted to discussing film and television's past, present, and future with beer thrown in for good measure since 2007.</strong>Chrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13232689128686838850noreply@blogger.comBlogger515125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38808844.post-70849799178634121752014-01-11T17:47:00.000-05:002017-04-23T21:34:12.062-04:00Deadly Prey<span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">1988<br />
Staring: Cameron Mitchell, Troy Donahue, Ted Prior, Fritz Matthews, David Campbell<br />
Director: David A. Prior</span></span><br />
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A disgraced Colonel turned mercenary runs a camp where he trains recruits by abducting random people off the streets of Los Angles. Following this so far? However, due to unfortunate circumstances in choosing their victims, they select Mike Danton, who just happens to be an insane killing machine.<br />
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That really was a great movie, I don't mean in "wow the cinematography was brilliant", but in the "Wow, Rambo is a great film" arena. It was only partially obvious that they must have run out of money and opted to throw in the financier-wants-recruits-faster and Father-in-law-hunts-for-Mike subplots into the film to pad the explosion budget a bit. Then they must have gotten to a point where they decided to ignore any form of time-elapsing device to show the passage of time hoping that the audience wouldn’t notice. As a result impromptu traps set by Danton spring up seconds after he arrives at a location, just in the nick of time to kill or maim one of his pursuers.<br />
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My friend Matt commented that he loved how Col. Hogan instantly knew it was Dalton after seeing his handiwork. And also commented on how Dalton ran home 75 miles to Los Angeles and did not get picked up by the cops for running around in nothing but a mullet and what he referred to as "daisy dukes". <br />
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I also understand that it defeats the entire purpose of the movie, but shouldn’t the guy in charge have checked out the “runner” before this even began? It would have saved them a considerable number of recruits.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Quality: */*****<br />
Enjoyability ****/*****<br />
Verdict: **1/2/*****</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38808844.post-84621071657826600472012-01-08T22:33:00.000-05:002018-09-05T01:25:47.261-04:00Things to Come (1936)<img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5695475960180931890" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig4oJFDPKl7s7TuGmKiAAmiDummeduFPE7FOxTQPVJVeyUL1xnM1acRP-qwS0NWDiKq3eFzIbnvbosILJ3ffGpiErXkWjoZsT1BT6ev3-LRMXPuG4bJrQvS0PJS1TO9sUHxgpG/s400/things-to-come.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 296px; margin: 0 0 10px 10px; width: 200px;" />I ended the week with "<span style="font-style: italic;">Things to Come</span>," the 1936 adaptation of a H. G. Wells novel. The story involves a fictional British city named 'Everytown', set between 1940 to 2036. In this "future" - the second world war rages on until at least 1970, when a New World Order takes over and creates an advanced but incredibly bland, white-washed society of automatons.<br />
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Most of the story takes place in three key time-periods: 1940, 1970 and 2036.<br />
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The war begins by an enemy not mentioned on screen but likely implied (especially based on when the film was made) to be Germans. The bulk of the war shows them slowly devolving, becoming less and less advanced and using a ton of chemical, and then ultimately biological, weapons. A plague ravages across the world and by the late 60s, things seem on the up-and-up.<br />
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At least, that's what I thought. See, the whole 1970 time-frame of this film was poorly executed. This tiny city-state run by the "Boss" (a small-time dictator) was obsessed with war, and finishing the fight with the "enemy" - though they had already established that the war was all but won. There's really no good implication here that he's just "fighting for the sake of fighting" but that they're still in this long, drawn-out struggle.<br />
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A man named John Cabal flies in, makes some grandiose speeches about how "Wings Over the World" won't "stand" for "independent sovereign states" while reveling in how great the "'camps' in the east" are (I'm assuming they're referring to labor camps for the "independent sovereign states" the Wings Over the World has conquered). They don't do an adequate job really explaining how they forced all these people to simply drop arms across the world, though I assume that they were all "dealt" with like the "Boss" and that those that didn't fit this NWO narrative were disposed of.<br />
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The future we find is one where Oswald Cabal (John's great-grandson) has to explain to his granddaughter what *HUMOR* was. Now THAT'S a world I want to live in. A bland world where everything is pristine, they mock living above ground, and they don't know what humor is. Oswald Cabal is as much a dictator as "The Boss" was, but since he's a proper gentlemen (and leader of the NWO) we're supposed to find him palatable.<br />
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It's a film worth catching, but I can't agree with its message on nearly any level.Chrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13232689128686838850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38808844.post-24360397960617882082012-01-08T19:24:00.000-05:002018-09-05T01:25:36.744-04:00Prison Break<br />
<img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5695475042062015442" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2pZ4QBJO6Y7n1-HrLF_q0mSE9OMB_vgShqlyjIZ50-MN6-ChB0B1PHumN8c5qiVDCbForOCj7LADS_1AfS3NR8JdNRlPqNDWi7PnZWJyTnbqa9Q1vp-oShoKMyKTlyLmdZP_V/s400/prison-break-season-3.jpg" style="float: right; height: 296px; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;" />As the first week of this new year kicked off, I found myself continuing to watch <span style="font-style: italic;">Prison Break</span> for the first time.<br />
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I don't know how I missed watching this when it was first on the air, but wow - I certainly missed out on a fantastic first season. Season two was okay, but the show suffered a lot of easy plot resolutions and accelerated timelines that just would never work at all in the real world.<br />
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I'm just about to wrap up season 3, which is the "Writers Strike" season - essentially a rehash of season one's story involving the breakout of a prison. Most of the people I know gave up on the show at this point, so I'm wondering what is in store for me in season 4.<br />
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<br />Chrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13232689128686838850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38808844.post-3422720353001396982011-12-09T23:34:00.000-05:002013-02-05T02:40:17.988-05:00Harry Potter: Book vs. FilmSo tonight I sat down and watched "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1" tonight and got in a discussion about book verses movie. In the lead up to the 8th and final film, I read all the books. I read them all up to "Deathly Hallows" and watched the film, then cracked open the final book and wrapped it all up.<img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;width: 267px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWjjxYp1L665o8oMa3esASBfOII5tBBk-JybbRUqSveYxoVxJQ9VmWWr-B3gX4YhweDwYNfG3wfrUb5i2Er3TEgLZgC_jFKtVsddHKCwBXylkA0_qO9k7l0UCHpb_KQ5VwD2Fg/s400/lunalovegood_lynch.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5684363947193905362" />Okay, so I've compiled some basic thoughts about the films and books:<br /><a name='more'></a>The first book and movie, "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone," are pretty much 'the same' in tone and plot. That's not to say that one was not better than the other. The book is a children's story, and as a children's story, it's very simple and child-like. There's not a lot of information that was changed, so the film's story remains largely intact. However, I thought it was lazily directed, so much so that had the book not had such a ardent fan base, the series would have ended right here.<br /><br />The second movie, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets," suffers a lot from the directing. There is extraneous material that simply doesn't need to be there. It's the longest movie of the series and it trudges along at a snails pace. It was dialogue heavy and treated the viewers like they were either stupid or had the attention span of a gnat. Too much talking, not enough "doing." As you said.... "There's only one place we're going to get all this... Diagon Alley." ... No Sh*t, just go!<br /><br />The third movie, "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban," is actually a marked improvement over the previous two films and while there are some notable changes to the storyline, the film would have not been anywhere as good had they simply stuck with a literal translation of the pages.<br /><br />I'd say so far, the fourth movie, "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire," does wonders to a book that was far too long and cumbersome. It would have been un-filmable had they not taken the steps they took in decreasing its length and bulk. One moment that sticks out (over the book) is the Death Eater attack at the Quiddich World Cup at the start of the movie. The short, concise, frantic scene in the film is far more powerful than a long sequence that is far more subdued than it should have been. The feeling these characters *should* have had don't translate off the pages. There's also no Dursley's so I give them props to jump straight into page 70+. I thought the handling of the Crouch family was not as convoluted as it was when the book presented it.<br /><br />I'd have to say that some of the changes made to "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" twere marked improvements but some were mistakes. I enjoyed both the film and the book. Grimmauld Place is cut down, which eliminates a lot of the unnecessary fluff ("cleaning" the place and all) but unfortunately cuts out some really rich back story. The Order (the original one) is almost a footnote in the film. Luna's introduction was better in the film (in my opinion). Lots of the Cho "fluff" is cut and her "betrayal" is stronger than the convoluted version that appears in the book. The giant, Grawp, is completely unlikable in the book (not that he's better in the film, but ugh... I'm glad that whole section was cut down). Fred and George's departure makes a lot more sense in the book. In the movie I simply thought they were pulling a prank (and would likely be expelled), but in the book they go out of their way to state they don't care if they get expelled because they're not going to return either way the following year. The superfluous Centaur sub-plot trimmed down in the film to the only necessary part that occurs in the entire book. Kreacher's role is virtually eliminated (blame the poor reception that Dobby got in part 2). I thought the Trelawney prophecy was not handled as clearly as it could have been in the film. It took me a few views to really *get* what the prophecy version of herself was saying in the globe, and unless you're familiar enough with the work (like having a father who likes to talk about what happened in the book after you finish seeing the movie) it's not exactly clear why this bungling, useless lady is kept at Hogwarts. Being that this was the shortest film, I think they made some wrong decisions on what to trim.<br /><br />And this brings us to "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince." The filmmakers removed an entire section about the Prime Minister of England (or "The Other Minister"). The chapter is near, but would have come off as somewhat of an anomaly had it been in the film. It would have been really cool had they filmed the scene as an "extra" short-film. Again, props for no Dursley's, though I do have to say that I'm a bit disappointed they don't exactly get the kind of verbal berating that they got in the book. In fact, they don't ever except for in the first film when Hagrid shows up "YUR A WIZZARD 'ARRY."<br /><br />Well, after a lot of changes to the story in the previous films, readers were left wondering, "How are they going to fit all this story they've cut into a film that provides a decent resolution to the story?" Well, prayers were answered when they announced they were splitting "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" into two films. And you know what? The film stays pretty true to the books - far more than the previous four films, but not quite as militantly as the first two. I liked how they eliminated some of the ancillary characters interacting with Harry, Hermione and Ron. And speaking of Ron, the one failure of the film was the way they treated Ron - he's a "bitch" in the first part - his character takes wild mood swings, that are more natural in the book. Part 2, tracks almost perfectly. I'm sure there's someone out there that's seriously having a coronary from reading this. I couldn't imagine them finishing off this series any other way.Chrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13232689128686838850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38808844.post-38769225339477641482011-11-11T23:13:00.000-05:002013-02-05T02:40:17.995-05:00Watchful Eye (a.k.a. Voyeur Beach)<img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;width: 286px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-AATwBl7fGcB1fy_MB8K4EYGSfspC1IbPGrczVxPg_PLupCHrvWPjynirsSaWnHwGgq2nOkUoCrQJETVQSH_OTPW6Efi0mJRbhZjUhEpYpk_yd6TnwuT3S3geUv29g9dmeGEt/s400/watchful-eye.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5674283813326821906" /><span style="font-style:italic;">Watchful Eye</span>, or <span style="font-style:italic;">Voyeur Beach</span> as I knew it in my youth, is a late-night made-for-cable "erotic thriller."<br /><br />I first saw this movie probably about 7 years ago on HBO Zone, a great HBO channel to watch a bunch of schlocky films by day and then <span style="font-style:italic;">these</span> types of films by night.<br /><a name='more'></a><br />The plot of Watchful Eye concerns Shannon, played by the wonderful Renee Rea, as a new roommate in a house that has very shading happenings going on. Unlike a lot of the "erotic" films - the adult scenes are very short, and are only barely more than you'd typically find in a hard-"R" rated film. The movie is full of eye candy, as all the actresses are pretty attractive.<br /><br />So from the very start it's clear that the house is wired with cameras so that perverts can spy on them and make some cash. Probably describes the pitch to the people who produced this film too. Apparently the European import contains 7 minutes of cut footage. Why you'd cut a film that is already presumably "uncut" - I have no idea.<br /><br />A few notes I took while watching this:<br /><br />-Beginning of film: Wow, this guy looks like he's trying to be Shawn Ashmore before Shawn Ashmore was Shawn Ashmore.<br />-00:10:50 mark: Jeez guys, white balance your cameras!<br />-"Bailamos" knock-off music during one of the "adult" scenes.<br />-00:20:30 mark: Nice moves Renee!<br />-00:45:00 mark: WHITE BALANCE<br />-All the male leads look like the same guy.<br />-End: Why am I taking notes?<br /><br />If you like this kind of schlocky film, check it out.Chrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13232689128686838850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38808844.post-30238506252401212372011-10-26T23:56:00.000-04:002013-02-05T02:40:17.987-05:00Camp Cuddly Pines Powertool Massacre<blockquote>"I don't think moose SCAMPER!"</blockquote><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;width: 295px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXwYJXiSZNgPUdSWy3RgLh2gn73CpRfMOlEL-pxsyD8dAmoV062uY8R0DESKh6DBSFuOzz8Cl_i_jQQDtMCGWxgYGv3yY2O58fsG3wOaDPNEI145nwVVew_itqV6H36i1BGh_X/s400/powertool-massacre.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5668037297322018370" /><span style="font-style:italic;">Camp Cuddly Pines Powertool Massacre</span> is a 2005 adult comedy-horror film. The film was released by Wicked Pictures and stars Stormy Daniels, Jessica Drake, Eric Masterson, Tommy Gunn, Voodoo and Nicole Sheridan.<br /><br />The presentation of this feature is top-notch. The image quality is pretty fantastic and the camera work may not be extra-ordinary, but it is leaps and bounds above the amateurish attempts that many independent studios are capable of in producing a horror film given the same basic budget. But what of the acting you say?<br /><a name='more'></a><br />Surely the acting in a pornographic film has got to be terrible. Well, the acting is actually pretty good here as well. I mean, any movie where Voodoo makes an appearance isn't going to be Oscar worthy, and there's some clunky dialogue that characters like Jessica Drake is forced to read through, but all-in-all it's far better than what you'd find in a low-budget horror flick. You're as surprised to hear that as I was to say it.<br /><br />The gore does take a back-seat in this film, so even though it is most assuredly an adult feature, the movie's focus is not directly on the horror. Why should it? These are supposed to be "designed for couples" (or lonely single men). Nearly every single normal person out there does not want to see blood and gore interspersed with sex scenes.<br /><br />In terms of the horror, it's all tongue-in-cheek (that was not intended to be a pun). The film molds itself after <span style="font-style:italic;">Scary Movie</span> more than it does <span style="font-style:italic;">Scream</span> or something serious like <span style="font-style:italic;">The Ring</span>, <span style="font-style:italic;">Friday the 13th</span> and <span style="font-style:italic;">A Nightmare on Elm Street</span>, however it does take a lot of inspiration from the last two listed. You see, Kristen (Stormy), Jessica (Jessica Drake) and Rayford, Todd and Josh (Eric Masterson, Voodoo and Tommy Gunn respectively) are all headed to a <span style="font-weight:bold;">Metalicide</span> concert when they accidentally hit a homeless drifter that Kristen first believes to be a hurt Moose. Trouble ensues when they tie the dead man to the roof and then get lost in the woods.<br /><br />Randy Spears makes an appearance as the town's sheriff, and I came extremely close to laughing until I puked. Can we get him in every movie please? Oh and going along with that horror movie staple, nearly every single person who has sex dies immediately afterward.<br /><br />The video is historic in a way, as it is the first adult film to be released on the HD DVD format. The run-time is roughly 2 and a half hours. Oh, and please be 18 before enjoying this.Chrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13232689128686838850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38808844.post-41609577770929978812011-10-25T20:26:00.000-04:002013-02-05T02:40:17.998-05:00Best Speech in a Movie: Henry VToday is <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Crispin%27s_Day">Saint Crispin's Day</a>. 596 years ago today, one of the most important battles in the history of the world occurred with the French defeat by the combined forces of the British and Welsh at the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Agincourt">Battle of Agincourt</a>.<br /><br /><div style="text-align:center;"><iframe width="480" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/OAvmLDkAgAM" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div><br /><blockquote>What's he that wishes so?<br />My cousin Westmoreland? No, my fair cousin;<br />If we are mark'd to die, we are enow<br />To do our country loss; and if to live,<br />The fewer men, the greater share of honour.<br />God's will! I pray thee, wish not one man more.<br />By Jove, I am not covetous for gold,<br />Nor care I who doth feed upon my cost;<br />It yearns me not if men my garments wear;<br />Such outward things dwell not in my desires.<br />But if it be a sin to covet honour,<br />I am the most offending soul alive.<br />No, faith, my coz, wish not a man from England.<br />God's peace! I would not lose so great an honour<br />As one man more methinks would share from me<br />For the best hope I have. O, do not wish one more!<br />Rather proclaim it, Westmoreland, through my host,<br />That he which hath no stomach to this fight,<br />Let him depart; his passport shall be made,<br />And crowns for convoy put into his purse;<br />We would not die in that man's company<br />That fears his fellowship to die with us.<br />This day is call'd the feast of Crispian.<br />He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,<br />Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd,<br />And rouse him at the name of Crispian.<br />He that shall live this day, and see old age,<br />Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,<br />And say 'To-morrow is Saint Crispian.'<br />Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,<br />And say 'These wounds I had on Crispian's day.'<br />Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,<br />But he'll remember, with advantages,<br />What feats he did that day. Then shall our names,<br />Familiar in his mouth as household words-<br />Harry the King, Bedford and Exeter,<br />Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester-<br />Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red.<br />This story shall the good man teach his son;<br />And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,<br />From this day to the ending of the world,<br />But we in it shall be remembered-<br />We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;<br />For he to-day that sheds his blood with me<br />Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,<br />This day shall gentle his condition;<br />And gentlemen in England now-a-bed<br />Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,<br />And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks<br />That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.</blockquote>Chrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13232689128686838850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38808844.post-12418255720088734462011-10-15T12:17:00.000-04:002013-02-05T02:40:17.982-05:00Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead<img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 311px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt8kmSF6FgN7bEgMH-DAd487R6b3LhtU9zCKW8rsCytO82rpLZsizrUICiZdnOFIV40XG0nTIkwfOsVQLPjCdSW40oLaoSmwBM-1__zonN1Ghle7ntY_-1mWl7hfv2p7K5H1Nx/s400/poultrygeist.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5663851034023720706" /><br />So this Friday night I sat down to catch a horror flick. As you can tell by the date, it's that time of the season. Well, what better than a film called Poultrygeist, right? That's gotta be a good horror film, right? Wrong. Somehow this piece of dreck got a "fresh" rating of 64% on Rotten Tomatoes. <br /><br />This "film" is a Troma Entertainment release from 2006 directed by Lloyd Kaufman. It is apparently supposed to be a satire of the fast food industry in which a character by the name of Arbie is hired by "American Chicken Bunker" to get back at his ex-girlfriend, turned activist lesbian, Wendy.<br /><a name='more'></a><br />Okay, this film seems to get a lot of praise from the underground, low-budget aficionados out there. To be completely fair, many would lump me directly into that group of people. I love schlocky, low-budget horror films. The problem is, one reason why I like "terrible" horror movies is because they were almost always <span style="font-style:italic;">not meant to be terrible</span>. Most of those filmmakers seriously tried to make a legitimate horror film and failed. Like a guy who thinks he's funny but is terrible instead of a guy who doesn't know he's terrible <span style="font-weight:bold;">and</span> funny.<br /><br />While watching Poultrygeist you can plainly see the entire crew knew they were making a schlocky film, and it comes off like a bunch of friends getting togther to shoot footage in their backyard and then crudely stringing it together with some "fart" sounds for added effect. I simply don't see the allure of that if it's clear that you aren't putting any effort into something you should otherwise be passionate about. Lloyd Kaufman has been making movies for decades, the final result looks like a poorly realized student film.<br /><br />This movie is nothing but a box of bad puns and cliches wrapped with a bow of terrible acting, flat singing and terribly unfunny scenes. I was willing to give it a chance, but after 20 or so minutes of virtually nothing interesting, funny or seriously horrible going on (just "comedy gore") I gave up. I kept watching though, hoping it would get better. Spoiler: it didn't.<br /><br />After watching a lame parody of Subway's Jared (who was morbidly obese in this film) paint the restroom in feces, ending with a "smaller," skinless version of himself ripping his way out of his skin, I couldn't take much more. Perhaps the film could improve and find some kind of direction, perhaps it could re-find the <span style="font-style:italic;">plot</span> and get on with it instead of dabbling with terrible vignettes.<br /><br />I made it to the scene where the director makes a cameo when it finally hit me - this movie is terrible. Terrible script, terrible acting, terrible direction... and everyone involved knows it. It's a lower budget version of the already low-buget <a href="http://www.theasylum.cc/">Asylum films</a>.<br /><br />Based on some of the extremely over-the-top reactions I have uncovered regarding this film, you'd think this was groundbreaking stuff. People are praising it in some of the most exaggerated, absurd reviews I've ever seen, so it's hard to not get that impression. Then again, "The Room" gets a lot of this fake praise too - but you know that 99.9999% of the people writing those reviews are mocking it - the "positive" reviews are nothing but false praise.<br /><br />If you like it, good for you. Enjoy.Chrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13232689128686838850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38808844.post-9930519252611661092011-10-10T23:29:00.000-04:002013-02-05T02:40:18.018-05:00Frogs<span style="font-style:italic;">Frogs</span> is a 1972 "eco-horror" film staring Sam Elliott and Ray Milland featuring amphibian killing machines Hellbent on terrorizing an upper-class U.S. Southern family on their plantation home.<br /><br /><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 221px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj-NTTjj6pdPF5XgYjrVc-i0wFVqVfwzq6dwiLM7N_j4A0pQzs1ypt7FIIZ892ynZAfYhZreiwr6-OIt1nKd2Qridx3KJ3jytiYeN_4vYdl9Xs-LPUJ7pMsjrtwp3Eq4ljLih5/s400/frogs.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5662103213306101762" />Jason Crockett (Ray Milland) is a millionaire who invites his family to his home for his birthday. Pickett Smith (Sam Elliot) is a nature lover and photographer down in the swamp to take pictures of nature for a magazine. Opinions collide when it's discovered that Jason Crockett kills off practically everything that enters his property by using massive amounts of poisonous chemicals. Of course, the bodies are going to quickly pile up, as the noise of *ribbit* sounds like payback is coming soon.<br /><a name='more'></a><br />Frogs was probably one of my best movie watching experiences. It's fun, and schlocky, but also well made enough to enjoy as a legitimate film. Shockingly this film never made it on the MST3k chopping block, though it's sister movie, <span style="font-style:italic;">Squirm</span> did. <span style="font-style:italic;">Squirm</span> was about killer worms terrorizing a family and invading a small town eating everyone in their path. <span style="font-style:italic;">Frogs</span> was that exact same plot, but on a smaller scale since the frogs, as well as the other maligned creatures, only attack a southern estate on a small island.<br /><br />Considering the title of the film, it's strange that it never seems like the Frogs do any of the killing. They're appear in a role more suited for, say, a "General" sending out troops of other animals that actually *DO* the dirty work. The film itself ends on one of the most bizarre and laugh educing awkward cuts that they could possibly come up with.<br /><br />Check it out.Chrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13232689128686838850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38808844.post-49361206645036287432011-10-03T19:17:00.000-04:002013-02-05T02:40:18.000-05:00The Dresden FilesThe Dresden Files was a short lived SciFi Channel (now named SyFy) series that aired from January to April of 2007. The show was based on the The Dresden Files novel series written by Jim Butcher. The series starred Paul Blackthorne, Valerie Cruz, Terrence Mann and Conrad Coates.<br /><br /><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 314px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxPqXVuSMAdYBe_VdDmt9SYorT755auHpPXZGkt-EXKu4G7KLq1gYuPp6OaTJ6fh_kzleg0iOz3POlLv8ifx_YeLxepaeYAWJnF0_00yNIELtmuw19gVicj8yC9sRqhlafP3cj/s400/DresdenFiles.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5659463361609041090" /><br />Blackthorne played Harry Dresden, a professional wizard. Not a fictional wizard, but an actual one, living in a world where magic is very real, and often very dangerous. Dresden often helps solve unexplained murders, with the often skeptical Lt. Connie Murphy of the Chicago police. He is aided by Hrothbert "Bob" of Bainbridge, a spirit who he owns, and who can not leave the confines of Dresden's house. Warden of the High Council, Donald Morgan, often helps and hinders Dresden in his attempts at weeding out supernatural killers.<br /><a name='more'></a><br />I enjoyed this series greatly. I was unfamiliar with the source material before watching the series, so I can not claim to know how faithful the work was to the original source. The series had some obvious tinkering, where they jammed the pilot episode into the 8th episode, which completely threw me off because the characters not only acted differently, but we were essentially being introduced to them all over again. Oh well.<br /><br />The assumption through most of the summer after the show ended was that the series had been a success, sadly, disappointed fans found out at the start of August that the series would not be renewed for a second season. It ran 12 episodes.Chrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13232689128686838850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38808844.post-54077375121523328062011-10-01T02:23:00.000-04:002013-02-05T02:40:18.003-05:00It's October!<img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 291px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4rXjeWZyjXwl2ilZoZgkM6AUUiudSwgRrsmmDY5m1RcEDBFW0vzAD9fCDM1XNchgWWM4BZ3hrwLeSVjGoPRKK5fGmj83zVLZFEBOfqVrzBssgj94FKjfO5PD3Nowxy4TLdByU/s400/dream-house-poster.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5658409261084221602" /><br />So I had hoped to kick off October with a "horror movie review" of the new film, <span style="font-style:italic;"><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1462041/">Dream House</a></span> staring Daniel Craig, Naomi Watts and Rachel Weisz.<br /><br />Well it turns out it's not much of a horror movie. Heck, it's not much of a movie, probably because going into the movie after seeing the trailer was a mistake. The movie was watchable, though a bit on the mediocre side. It was certainly not worth my time once I found out the first shift of the storyline (the first "twist reveal") which was exposed smack dab in the middle of the trailer. They gave away most of the reason why you're watching the film!<br /><a name='more'></a><br />***Spoiler alert!*** This would be like exposing that Bruce Willis is a ghost, or that Kevin Spacey is Kyser Soze. Okay, that spoiler alert was lame. I will not do it again.<br /><br />Had the movie used the trailer as mis-direction, and had the story be a lot more complicated than was presented (that the family wasn't dead or that his psychosis was much deeper than presented), I'd be a lot more forgiving of the final product.<br /><br />I think the showings earlier in the day were so sparsely filled that they saved money by simply not turning on any of the pre-preview commercials and keeping the lights off in the theater. It was pretty sad.<br /><br />That sounds terrible, but I've heard worse. My parents foolishly went to see Battlefield Earth when it was released back in 2000. It had miserably opened the previous week - was still in all the print advertisements for this theater, was still on the marquee, but the theater actually [i]saved[/i] money by not showing the movie at all. That's right. The theater was apparently empty, so it was more cost effective for them to simply turn off the lights and not run the projectors. I think they actually did finally wrangle up 15-20 people which made it worth the theater's effort to show that terrible dreck.Chrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13232689128686838850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38808844.post-51733608919633165892011-08-31T23:59:00.000-04:002013-02-05T02:40:18.001-05:00This Has All Happened Before: Modern Times<img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 310px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi69QEMcHQqg09VH5q1hrhbKotJfnjnDIBUtFXmqFKuzGJJXp_ScAeXy3UYZ0scQ0DSRW-opLNjVOBxqRE0oGRxu8k6VsFVR00IdYMnxOzrZAXQrFPv4UylPxqChUHGuyfauUIg/s400/Charlie-Chaplin-Modern-Times.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5648375591093074242" />So I just watched the Charlie Chaplin classic, Modern Times, for the first time last week on Hulu+. The plot itself it not so strange, but the circumstances behind the type of film are.<br /><br /><br /><br />In today's world where films are really being pushed to be 3-D, even to the point where films shot in 2-D are "converted" to push the marketing gimmick, it's interesting to see a film from the past that rejected the norm of the time (sound) and was essentially one of the last films of the silent era. Obviously there are films that came after it that used silence for artistic purposes, but those are generally disconnected from the silent era. This film is certainly not one of them.<br /><br /><a name='more'></a><br /><br />That last paragraph is not entirely accurate, as the film had some sounds that were added in post-production, as well as occasional scene with a speaking role, it's few and far between and all the principal players are "silent" when on screen - opting for title cards like any other silent film would. <br /><br /><br /><br />Charlie Chaplin's reluctance to give into the talkie phenomenon wholeheartedly makes this movie a hybrid, a "silent talkie," if you will. In some ways, this mirrors the reluctance to move into color or even today's reluctance for directors to embrace the 3-D craze.<br /><br /><br /><br />However, while I enjoyed the film, I couldn't stop thinking about how the film was, even by the standards of the day, a relic already years out of date. Chaplin's fears that the Tramp could not survive in the era of "talkies" was unfounded. Considering his "Tramp" character "talked" (through title cards) in the silent films, I could have easily have seen Modern Times adopt sound and embrace it fully (instead of partially in just a few scenes), allowing all the characters except Chaplin's to talk. I'm not comparing the styles or quality here, but the above method method has been pretty successful with Rowan Atkinson's Mr. Bean. While each episode is largely silent, the character of Bean utters perhaps one or two lines an episode (occasionally remaining silent the entire episode).<br /><br /><br /><br />One thing is for sure, I really hope that 2-D doesn't go the way of silent films for some time to come.Chrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13232689128686838850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38808844.post-53927027546254888452011-07-27T01:33:00.000-04:002011-07-28T04:55:06.450-04:00Short's Tap Takeover at Churchkey, part 2Well guys, I totally forgot to follow up on my first part... until now.<br />
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<strong>Short's Bloody Beer</strong>. If you’re not a fan of a Bloody Mary, avoid. Roma tomatoes, dill, peppercorn both on the aroma and taste. This was fantastic. I never thought I would enjoy a beer as savory as this one, as odd as this one, one with ingredients that are strange. Who knew?<br />
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<strong>The Magician</strong> arrived with a cloudy red body and a small white head. Aroma was pretty unremarkable, caramel notes, grain. Flavor was about the same. Grain, nuts, malts.<br />
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<strong>Mama’s Strawberry Milk</strong> poured a dark brown color, darker than I had expected for a beer which includes the words "strawberry" and "milk." Aroma was mellow strawberries, sugar, cream. Flavor was more mellow than I had hoped for, sugar notes, creamy strawberries.<br />
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<strong>Shorts Anniversary Ale</strong> was another highlight of the night. It poured a ruby orange color with a small white head. Aroma was a touch citrus, with mellow spice notes, and something familiar that I still can’t quite put my finger on while writing this - probably the blood oranges. Beer was certainly not as hot as I would have imagined based on the ABV - 10%.<br />
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I took a gamble on the next one with, <strong>The Gambler</strong>, a tobacco "inspired" brew. The aromas I got off this one were tea and "tobacco" notes. The flavor was a touch citrus, dominated by herbal teas, tobacco-like notes and other various spices.<br />
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<strong>Samaritan Ale</strong> poured a golden color with a small white head. Aroma was cider, sweet, touch of tartness. Flavor was tart apples, touch of spice - clove maybe? Certainly a change of pace.<br />
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The <strong>Black Licorice Lager</strong> poured a dark brown color, tan head. Aroma was mostly mint, though some licorice shown through. The beer was, as my friends described, like mint chocolate chip ice cream. A very unique brew to be sure and certainly one I'm looking forward to try again.<br />
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I finished that night with a few more, less remarkable beers from them, and then rounded it off with the <strong>Belgian IPA</strong>, which was awesome. Slightly hazy golden color with a perfect small foamy head was only bettered by the wonderful mild, Belgian yeast strain in an IPA, mild citrus and pine note aroma.<br />
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The night finished with the fantastic, non-Short's, Sierra Nevada Barrel Aged Life & Limb. OH MY... Brown sugar notes, caramel, chocolate notes and bourbon. Near perfection.<br />
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SAVOR was up next. And it blew my mind.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38808844.post-2029846765448085552011-07-20T23:54:00.000-04:002013-02-05T02:40:17.984-05:00The Last Man on Earth<img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;width: 400px; height: 227px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidiWK5jHPCBuCId03TX6HTK_5KcJCAzvQymEbiqFTCF96EL-AXtTFnpwIU0b6t0hpqhSvf7MHRPUX_8LFqip9gLyfhqJb1Gf9chy4dGajIFTS3YwiPd0nqTRRkHU2sHXqaaVI_/s400/last-man-on-earth.jpg" border="0" alt="The Last Man on Earth" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5631702786155601122" />Vincent Price, one of the most distinct voices in the history of cinema, plays "<span style="font-style:italic;">The Last Man on Earth</span>," fighting vampires. Most of the first act of this film is Price's character, Dr. Robert Morgan, lone survivor of the human race. Most people better know him as Robert Neville.<br /><br />I think that this version is perhaps the most faithful to the original Richard Matheson novel, <span style="font-style:italic;">I Am Legend</span>, in part because Matheson himself wrote the original screenplay. Each adaptation has its faults, this one being so low-budget that it just couldn't do the script justice, and the 2007 Will Smith film failing to do the meaning behind the title of the film any justice. Ironically the original (alternate) ending to the 2007 version hit about as close as they could considering the "humans" were nothing more than pack animals with little more than base human characteristics. Later re-writes convinced Matheson to remove his name from this film, but he's still credited under the pseudonym "Logan Swanson."<br /><br />This is my second favorite Vincent Price film, falling just behind "House of Wax." You may say, "Chris, Vincent Price was in a lot of bad movies!" Yep. Keep reading.<br /><a name='more'></a><br />I suspect the re-writes probably had to do with slimming down the budget – in the original story, the vampires are fast, not lumbering zombies. They can run and climb. The use of a "cure" in this version of the film comes a bit too easy, perhaps something modern genetics allowed the 2007 film to be a bit more flexible with, but not poor Dr. Morgan with a crummy looking garage chemistry set. The vampires in the film, aside from their dislike of the sunlight, acted a lot more like zombies (or really really slow people). This film certainly did help inspire modern zombie films as it laid the foundation for Romero’s Night of the Living Dead.<br /><br />They could have also built up and strengthen the final confrontation a bit more, but as I postulated earlier, I don't think that the budget could have supported anything different.<br /><br />In a likely move to save even more money, much of the beginning of the film is just a voice over, which unfortunately drones on at times. Dr. Morgan goes about his day-to-day, post-apocalyptic, activities such as cleaning up dead bodies, finding new food, and then finishing off the day with killing a few vampires in the early evening before bed. The movie does pick up a bit in the second act, when he meets Ruth and his conflict with finding a true cure to it all and his belief on whether or not any of them are truly human anymore completes the film. The film is very pessimistic – and thus so is Price’s character, who has completely given up, which ultimately leads to his downfall.<br /><br />I'd like to thank my friend Matt for introducing this film to me so many years back. I first watched this one in one of those "50 films for 20 dollars" public-domain box-sets. The print was rife with problems. It was obviously produced using an inferior quality print. But I didn't care. The movie is an enjoyable B-flick.Chrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13232689128686838850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38808844.post-56372797261612846472011-07-01T00:28:00.000-04:002013-02-05T02:40:18.004-05:00Army of Darkness<img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 260px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGZI5jCawCgpVta9doMblCe5HlPZAKGr4r3N37upB0G72BbTGjZoeAVxLPFKLr8FYuPSESN9IE0U0Utejjva99WHUMSLPI4DJzORVpikQsdVoqno4ecPx2myL0OvN7um1CwPFu/s400/army-of-darkness.jpg" border="0" alt="Army of Darkness" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5624252471997860066" /><br />More of a comedy than a horror film, Army of Darkness is an oddity that has polarized many of the fans of the original two Evil Dead movies. The first Evil Dead film was as close you could get to being a pure horror film. There were a few light or twisted moments of comedy, but it was a horror film. The second film was still very much a horror movie, but most of the horror had a heavy serving of tongue-in-cheek comedy. It was screwy, but funny as the “camp” factor had been turned not-quite-up to 11. Army of Darkness finally came out, five years later, it was much more of an action-adventure comedy than it was a horror film. Matter-of-fact, I didn't actually find this movie all that scary at all.<br /><a name='more'></a><br />The story picks up directly after the second Evil Dead film, though there is no pressing need to watch the first two films before this one - I didn't the first time and quite a few times after that - as the film stands completely on its own.<br /><br />Ash, played by Bruce Campbell, is a poor soul who has traveled back in time from the late 1980s and is now trapped in the 14th century. His only hope to return home is the book of the dead, the Necronomicon. Of course he is the only person who can go after it, and it's definitely in the most dangerous part of the entire world. After accidentally unleashing the forces of Hell, Ash must battle to save humanity and get back home.<br /><br />This film is in no way historically accurate at all, and I'm not simply talking about how there is walking dead in the 14th century, but that the places and locations don't seem to fit any particular area of the world. One of the two endings of the film produces an even more confusing situation as to where the heck they're supposed to be. So I ignore it, and treat the locations much the way that I would treat one of the Conan the Barbarian films, in that it takes place in undefined "Eurasian" location.<br /><br />The movie itself is fun and campy, but it does suffer a bit. Director Sam Raimi is certainly not the best director out there. The Spider-man films were schlocky, but not really in an enjoyable way after-the-fact. Decent, but one wonders how anyone could have said that those were the best comic book films ever made, especially after seeing how great they can actually be from films such as Iron Man. Raimi productions are produced with what I like to call that silly "New Zealand Camp Factor." I personally think he does best with this kind of material and Bruce Campbell certainly is one of the best actors that works with him. Campbell knows how to chew the scenery and make a production fun.<br /><br />If you want a film to laugh about and enjoy, Army of Darkness is a film to check out. I prefer the directors cut of the film over the theatrical version, but both are great (though, you'll miss a great depressing ending if you go for the theatrical version).Chrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13232689128686838850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38808844.post-35174761155556061292011-06-14T02:21:00.000-04:002013-02-05T02:40:17.990-05:00Let's Eat!: Microwave Massacre<img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;width: 400px; height: 225px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTir1ZvEA1DBNfnKQOAZAf26uvKSGcxeBrx6K8hO26BUd0Hz6vNJvyqLn2_Gtd7Zx_nEsTJ6r8LAULmST1WXirFGS-IGHMAGprEqI4dp66OfsL_L5eukQHgugx_eJmzPnQjC0s/s400/microwave-massacre-kitchen.jpg" border="0" alt="Microwave Massacre" id="microwave-massacre" />This half cooked (pardon the pun) idea of a horror film is one of the worst films I’ve ever seen, but one of the most fun movie experiences I’ve ever taken part of. The DVD box hails the film as the “worst horror movie of all time,” and they are pretty darn close.<br /><br />Poor old Jackie Vernon plays Donald, a construction worker who absolutely hates his wife’s “gourmet” cooking. The movie begins with breasts. After talking about food, you'd expect I was referring to chicken. You'd be wrong. <a name='more'></a> In what I can only imagine was a cheap ploy to hook the audience, a pair of breasts attached to a porn-caliber actress walk down the street. Inter-cut is Donald, who is on his lunch break. His fellow co-workers and friends have “regular” food for their lunch, but in all his wife’s culinary wisdom she’s made Donald a wonderful crab sandwich – shell and all. The crab is so fake, I'm surprised they were able to find bread large enough to encompass it since it's about the size of a pizza pie. So back to the young actress with “assets.”<br /><br />The poor young lass stumbles across a construction site, and decides to peer through a hole in the wall, well it's not so much a hole as two round holes, like a funny shaped knothole. Apparently for a by-passer on the street, the mere fact she’s slightly bent over leads him to take advantage of her – and to be perfectly honest – playfully rapes her, much to the delight of two useless bums that work there, and miss out on getting a feel as she escapes. But wait, there's more. This all happens in the first 5 minutes.<br /><br />Trying to pawn off his food day after day, his buddy declines the crab, explaining that “Sir, no sir! I remember those films in the army. I don't want anything to do with crabs!” in the most monotone, bland acting that I’ve seen in ages. Even *I* could read lines better than that and I can barely string together more than a sentence or two that I've practiced and planned. Eventually, to Donald's horror, his wife buys a microwave. Being a film that was shot in the 70s, the microwave is about the size of a standard oven. The house also has four ovens in that kitchen. God help Donald. So what does she concoct you might ask? Well only the most vile, nasty looking food I’ve seen in cinema history – worse than live, moving Klingon food. Klingons eat slimy, marinated worms while they're still alive and squirming. I think I could stomach that over this stuff. So it's not a surprise that Donald is about to snap. All he wants is a bologna sandwich. After an argument that we didn't really need to see filmed, Donald finally implodes and solves his marital problems in one or two fell swoops. <br /><br />The next morning he wakes up not realizing what had transpired the evening before, and goes into the kitchen to see where his “lunch” is. He needs to leave for work so he guesses it might be in the microwave. Apparently not only is the microwave huge, it’s large enough to fit people in it. Yep, his wife has been placed in the microwave. Only half disgusted, and hardly worried, Donald ends up having to cut up the body and decides to store in the fridge.<br /><br />To make room, he dumps all the crummy food she kept into the trash. He’s watching a TV show later, and the “host” is talking about a perfect crime – in which the closest a person got was eating all the evidence. Hungry from all the legalese the disembodied voice from the TV provided, Donald heads to the trash for a quick midnight snack. He goes straight to the food left in the trash, which may be more appetizing after being left to fester all day in the warm garage. Unfortunately for him, he didn’t notice the poorly placed hand of his dead wife fall out of the fridge into the trashcan earlier in the day, and begins to eat the foil wrapped treat. “MAY!” He screams when he realizes that it was her. Still not disgusted enough with himself, he realizes she tastes pretty good, and the following scene is Donald munching on what I can only guess is her leg.<br /><br />Cue the “knothole girl” from earlier, who now has snuck into the construction site, I guess to return to the place of the crime that occurred earlier. Is she smart? No, I don’t believe so.<br /><br />Well, now that Donald craves the taste of human flesh, the rest of the film is pretty much made up of vignettes where the end result is him stocking up his fridge with more meat. The jokes range from poor stereotypical jokes to simply poor jokes. Donald’s co-workers joke that the meat is darker – she was black – and later Donald jokes about “Peking Chick” – much to the chagrin of his buddies trying to tell him it’s actually “Peking Duck.”<br /><br />Between poorly edited scenes that don’t fit in the film at all – mind you the film is only 75 minutes long – it could have been edited down to the length of an old Tales from The Crypt episode, Crypt Keeper monologues and all. However, the movie is a riot, a laugh a minute, whether it was intentional or not. So watch it and laugh. Laugh I tell you!Chrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13232689128686838850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38808844.post-14906778897049016122011-06-09T01:32:00.000-04:002011-06-09T01:32:51.420-04:00Short's Tap Takeover at ChurchkeyWell, I got the weekend started off right. On a Thursday, as it should be. Last week was SAVOR week, the premiere beer event in the DC area, so all week bars and pubs all across the DC area were celebrating.<br />
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On Thursday, <a href="http://www.shortsbrewing.com/">Short's Brewing Company</a> came to Churchkey, their first time in the DC marketplace in an event dubbed "Short's Brewing Monster Tap Takeover." As reported, no beers from Short's had ever been in DC before and so debuting 30 beers all at once was pretty phenomenal. While I didn't get a chance to meet them or even confirm if they had arrived from their flight into the city, the brewery's Founder Joe Short along with CFO Scott Newman-Bale, Tony Hansen (Head of Brewing Productions) and Jon Wojtowicz (Beer Liberator & Field Representative) were all set to be at the bar that night.<br />
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I got there promptly at 2:40, worried that there would be a long line like when I went to 2010's Stone Total Tap Takeover. Meeting my friend Chris, we entered the bar at 3:00 and grabbed seats at the bar. The list was overwhelming.<br />
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I started with <strong>Hangin Frank</strong>, their IPA brewed exclusively with Simcoe hops. The beer poured a dark golden color with very little head. Aroma was pine hops, caramel malts, touch of sweetness. Flavor was incredibly tasty to say the least. The night was starting out right.<br />
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Next up was the <strong>Key Lime Pie</strong>. Okay, I understand that this beer will not be everyone’s thing. It’s gimmicky. It’s silly. It’s really sweet. With all that said, it was *just* like drinking a key lime pie. The beer came and was a copper color, no head. The beer had a pretty bland aroma (certainly not bad, but no key lime notes), which made me a bit disappointed and worried when it first arrived. The first taste was initially average, and then it hit me. Lime. Graham cracker! Wow. I’d have to say that more than 8oz of this would probably drive me up the wall.<br />
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So I was really stoked after the Key Lime. Next up: <strong>Carrot Cake</strong>. Poured a Aroma of this one is mild carrots, with almost cream cheese frosting like characteristics. Woah. Flavor is kind of like a carrot cake, though it is a bit heavy on some spices - I noticed nutmeg in mine. My mind almost went straight to what I normally expect from a pumpkin beer.<br />
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Then... <strong>Another Caucasian Gary</strong>. One of my bosses thought it was the funniest name when I told them I was headed out for the day. My mind's eye thought "gray" but it came out almost brown. Aroma was coffee notes, almost sugary sweet vanilla. Flavor was like Southern Tier’s Creme Brulee. It’s pretty close to a White Russian. Brown sugar, vanilla notes in the flavor. Would probably rather just get a White Russian if I had the choice, but it’s an interesting beer worth a look.<br />
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<strong>Shorts Soft Parade</strong> poured a copper color, tiny white head. Aroma is mild tart fruits (raspberries, strawberries, blackberries). Flavor is certainly raspberries, strawberries, blackberries. A bit sweet, not too tart, flavor is pretty darn tasty and the alcohol is nearly untraceable.<br />
<br />
The <strong>Whiskey Sour</strong>. I’ll share my comments on this one by echoing the comments I made on the Key Lime Pie. It’s gimmicky. It’s really sweet. It’s not for everyone. Now, unlike the Key Lime Pie, this one had a noticeable pie flavor immediately off the bat. And by gum, this one really did taste like a whiskey sour. The small taster of this one was about perfect.<br />
<br />
<strong>Bananarama</strong> came to me as a dark brown brew with a tiny, vanishing head. Aroma was average, seemed like there’s something up with it. Flavor was, well - disappointing. I caught the banana in there, but it was, neither all that powerful, nor was it all that good. It could have been simply that pour or that keg, but I don’t think I’ll be seeking this one out again. My buddy Ryan thought differently, so I don't know what could have been the problem.<br />
<br />
<strong>Sustenance</strong> poured a dark, almost black color brown, with a small tan head. Aroma was chocolate, roasted malts. Flavor was roasted malts, earthy hops, chocolate malts. While not a gimmick like most of the beers I had had up to this point, it was solid.<br />
<br />
The next beer was another normal offering from the brewery, <strong>Bellaire Brown</strong>. This one poured a solid translucent brown color, ruby notes, small head. Aroma was caramel, sweet nutty notes. Flavor is caramel notes, a tad nutty.<br />
<br />
And here we come. The beer that changed it all.<br />
<br />
Coming soon.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38808844.post-26598579870925085822011-05-29T17:34:00.001-04:002011-05-29T17:38:40.239-04:00The Bier Baron: A Vast Improvement Over The BrickGuys and gals, when The Brickskeller closed I had mixed emotions. The place was one of my first big eye-opening experiences with Beer. It also was a dump that rarely had the beers I was hoping to order from its menu.<br />
<br />
Yesterday was the first time I had been to this establishment since just before "The Brick" closed its doors in December. The place was falling apart for years. The beer list was *willfully* neglected, and it was a well known "joke" that a patron would need 3-4 backup choices in case their first, second or third choices were unavailable. Once even a 5th choice had to be offered before I simply told them to get me *anything* they could find.<br />
<br />
Well, I finally returned and I to my surprise, I was greeted with taps downstairs! Finally! No "smart alec" responses from the staff that you'll have to go upstairs to get a draft beer. They can pour it right in front of you.<br />
<br />
Their beer menu is about as honest as any beer establishment can get. The specials were a bit out of date, but the rest of the offerings were available upon my ordering. Far better to only list 400 instead of saying "GUINNESS RECORD!!!" and having +500-600 beers "permanently unavailable." I’ve been spoiled by places like Rustico and Churchkey that both have very unique offerings, served the way that most of the beers presumably should be served.<br />
<br />
I have to say that the changes from the Brick to the Baron have only improved the place. New men’s bathroom! Honest beer list! Food is a vast improvement over the previous owner’s food! I can now say that I want to return, and will tell all the people I know to do so.<br />
<br />
So join me, won't you?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38808844.post-56804728739224109112011-05-14T17:20:00.000-04:002013-02-05T02:40:18.006-05:00Gone Too Soon? Shows Cancelled Before Their PrimeLately I've sat down to watch some shows that were cancelled. Most people would simply pass over these series, after all, they were cancelled. Perhaps it is because I root for the underdog, and what better underdog is there than a show that was cancelled? Below highlight 3 series I recently sat down to watch.<br /><br /><h3 style="font-weight:bold;">Raines</h3><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;width: 141px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUBF4BJbfLLTA9aIscjhImL4zV-PI3JWH_kTaS6RafF0hVlw2LabBk4vTbkQzsWZZATr5MRGEl5NFlhfoYeptUJroqbokoSVNoULe1E5As9zvcu1J9Ywd_MPyXxwrZADE5pCoe/s400/raines-image.jpg" border="0" alt="Raines"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5606701625887471346" /><span style="font-style:italic;">Raines</span> was a quirky series that was killed by bad marketing. I remembered the ad-campaign for the short-lived television series, and it never really captured the true nature of this crime drama that turns out, was unlike other crime prodcedurals on TV at the time. The main character, Detective Michael Raines would create imaginary manifestations of the victims of the crimes he was investigating. Jeff Goldblum starred as Raines.<br /><br />Goldblum went on to feature in <i>Law and Order: Criminal Intent</i> after this, and the show's creator Graham Yost went on to do the phenomenal series, <span style="font-style:italic;">Justified</span>. The show aired on NBC for a paltry 7 episodes, between March 15, 2007 – April 27, 2007.<br /><br />Verdict: <span style="font-style:italic;">Gone Too Soon</span><br /><a name='more'></a><br /><h3 style="font-weight:bold;">Vanished</h3><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;width: 141px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9YXxkJVFU1hubRYTqPk3GAxoTlm1mcotNPU7aXiaA2hxIfZSmOonTUO0AdWBfK7cFs5-WFh0ljgjznxema5m6WTC8XatKgKwsFsJBgwQTJ4_Z1zsfytVAqhVPAalNQCgf7MGB/s400/vanished-image.jpg" border="0" alt="Vanished"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5606701557881435602" /><span style="font-style:italic;">Vanished</span> debuted on FOX, focusing on the kidnapping of a Senator's wife, which was slowly revealed to be part of a larger nationwide, and perhaps worldwide conspiracy. This show certainly had a lot of ideas. It started as a show in the same vein of <span style="font-style:italic;">24</span>, that is, until the New World Order/Illuminati showed up. Despite its short run, the show had been retooled once when they killed off the central protagonist in the seventh episode because of supposed poor tracking with young males.<br /><br />I don't know if this could have survived more than one full season. This could have either been the next <span style="font-style:italic;">24</span> as an action thriller or the next <span style="font-style:italic;">Lost</span> with piling questions upon questions and mystery upon mysteries with little payoff (or worse, <span style="font-style:italic;">Flashforward</span> or <span style="font-style:italic;">The Event</span>). This series ran 13 episodes, between August 21, 2006 – November 10, 2006.<br /><br />Verdict: <span style="font-style:italic;">Needed Serious Retooling</span><br /><br /><h3 style="font-weight:bold;">Conviction</h3><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;width: 141px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3ekxCk4J0ZvDtTRvEFjGXVFH6bCHQ0eQNVI0-ojpznPyOn_iwT_7eZ5YvERaLxCjJioeHdxuhvDwBq4X9YHTl5OD_DCZAFqekWEb3CKeMLyHNjhgTX_dUkNHhhJo8wlNMa-fZ/s400/conviction-image.jpg" border="0" alt="Conviction"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5606701675537607042" />Conviction was the 4th <span style="font-style:italic;">Law & Order</span> spinoff series produced and it followed the following year after the short lived series, <span style="font-style:italic;">Law & Order: Trial By Jury</span> was cancelled. Stephanie March reprised her role as Alexandra Cabot (who appeared for years on <span style="font-style:italic;">Law & Order: Special Victims Unit</span>). The show revolved around young assistant district attorneys. The show was placed up against the popular but terrible CBS by-the-numbers crime procedural, <span style="font-style:italic;">NUMB3RS</span>. On top of that, the show did not include "Law & Order" as part of the title so the association wasn't exactly there with the long standing (and at the time, still highly popular) franchise.<br /><br />Watching the show, I was struck how unlikable two of the leads were in their first few episodes (Anson Mount and Milena Govich) and how much focus we got on these characters. They warmed towards the end. After the cancellation, Julianne Nicholson moved on to <span style="font-style:italic;">Law & Order: Criminal Intent</span> as a completely different character, and eventually became partners with Jeff Goldblum's character, unrelated to his <span style="font-style:italic;">Raines</span> character. This series ran 13 episodes, between March 3 – May 19, 2006.<br /><br />Verdict: <span style="font-style:italic;">Gone Too Soon</span>Chrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13232689128686838850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38808844.post-40075730024186955762011-05-08T00:17:00.000-04:002013-02-05T02:40:17.996-05:00It's Mother's Day!In honor of Mother's Day, I present to you: <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081186/">Mother's Day</a>, a 1980 Horror film written and directed by Charles Kaufman (not that Charlie Kaufman) and released by Troma Entertainment.<br /><br /><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;width: 400px; height: 310px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnZITVcMCx42TOjRS1q0DuDT0T3WefXyX8pf18Rv5uNkAbC1bXX9lo5JZ6LTkrefQurmCZmsn007NdnZyyz0TsF2eDYegP7nKdW6QauC21hysdjkME6ITJojokhaEKVLYMeyOI/s400/MothersDay.jpg" border="0" alt="Mothers Day VHS Box (old school!)" title="Mothers Day VHS Box (old school!)" id="mothers-day-box" /><br />This film is fully entrenched in the 1970s. The fashions, the style, the music. That specific film stock that only these kinds of horror films seem to have used... The story revolves around three women, Abbey, Jackie and Trina. While on a camping trip, they run into a group of hillbillies named Ike and Addley along with their insane mother. The three poor women are attacked and brutalized by this group, along the same lines of what you'd expect from a slasher of that time.<br /><a name='more'></a><br />The film itself was better than I expected. It was certainly a low budget horror flick, but the film is enjoyable in its own right. They hit just about every mark a horror film should. The people behind the film have a slight sense of humor, as there is a "bus terminal" in the film, and it looks like they simply shot it at an abandoned landfill (The joke is that they're in New Jersey). They cross paths with some hillbillies at a gas station/convenience store, and while it doesn't do much within the film aside from establish some of the mood, it looks *just* like a scene from the hilarious comedy-horror film, <span style="font-style:italic;">Tucker & Dale vs Evil</span>, which I always feel the need to give props to (can that film get distributed soon?).<br /><br />There are some good fake scares early on in the film, and the stuff that happens to these girls is pretty gruesome and sadistic. These hillbilly punks are one screwed up family. They're not as disgusting as the ones from the <span style="font-style:italic;">X-Files</span> episode, "<span style="font-style:italic;">Home</span>," but they're close. I'm pretty sure I had an Sesame Street alarm clock like the one that featured around the 44 minute mark in the film, though it's a lot more creepy in this particular film then when I was growing up...<br /><br />Another 1980 horror film outshines this one is Friday the 13th, in that it has a stronger "mother" element than this one and is a lot more memorable. The film has been <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1434435/">remade and apparently released</a> starring Rebecca De Mornay not that long ago.<br /><br />In the UK, the film was rejected by the BBFC banning it from sale and is apparently still banned to this day. Due to portrayals of extreme violence and rape, I do not recommend sitting down with your own mother to watch this movie.Chrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13232689128686838850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38808844.post-61371787745528784322011-05-05T01:53:00.000-04:002013-02-05T02:40:18.008-05:00It Came From Hulu: Ark<img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;width: 400px; height: 233px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgowxck_NQS6GLz98F-qkk77SsEchSbzt3yqAeJR7FmGsyyPKSXxn0hDgy_BJOGEOrbI-OoLlF7RpPajatsKFbeVkAfmo8HuLUhRsvDAGVMErSJhvlLN-8OWeiPJJvAYqihbJzF/s400/ark-on-hulu.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5603113226305799714" /><br /><br />After the fantastic conclusion of <span style="font-style:italic;">The Confession</span> on Hulu earlier this week (check out the <a href="http://www.anotherfilmpodcast.com/2011/03/it-came-from-hulu-confession.html">post</a> we did), I perused Hulu and came across another web series which debuted on the service, <a href="http://www.hulu.com/ark"><em>Ark</em></a>.<br /><br /><em>Ark</em> is a science fiction series in which Connie (<span style="font-style:italic;">Xena</span>’s Renée O'Connor) awakens in a botanical garden, unaware of how she got where she is. Not long after, she encounters Daryl and the two try to figure out where they are or how they got there. It premiered all 9 episodes together on July 23, 2010.<br /><a name='more'></a><br />While there are no current plans for a second season as far as I am aware, my hope is that the show is able to garner enough interest that the production crew can produce additional episodes in the future. This unfortunately does lend itself to being a tad disappointing when left with the cliffhanger the story concludes with, but I'd say that the ingenuity of the crew to create something on such a small budget and small scope is to be commended.<br /><br />Each episode runs roughly 5 to 7 minutes long, with a 10 minute finale.<br /><br /><object width="512" height="288"><param name="movie" value="http://www.hulu.com/embed/aslknVvtnwm6Dth9q_8ivw"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.hulu.com/embed/aslknVvtnwm6Dth9q_8ivw" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="512" height="288" allowFullScreen="true"></embed></object>Chrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13232689128686838850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38808844.post-7889246957131803122011-04-12T01:55:00.000-04:002013-02-05T02:40:18.013-05:00Lock n Load: Shoot Em Up<img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;width: 400px; height: 282px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbcOQNcckbUlgZSAs-p53SQQvnCBrMuaZ2Hd5NOUvEmYpWEY0cqHmKV_BCTJI23X6kMJxmKKFFENftSDYS-Pvc7o-BDCTdYtz8uIlhrGIQxYDZTeuH1mV03s3fyOeEithbuDXh/s400/clive-owen-shootemup.jpg" border="0" alt="Clive Owen in Shoot 'Em Up" id="shoot-em-up" /><br />Full disclosure: This may be one of the dumbest movies I have ever seen. The plot was so outrageous that at first glance I'm actually surprised that someone green-lit this. The filmmakers choose to completely disregard reality, common sense, and psychics and it was awesome. Watching this film ranks as one of my best cinematic experiences in my entire life.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Shoot Em Up</span> make no promises that you're going to get anything other than what you got in the trailer. What kind of film do you expect it to be when you show a scene in the trailer with a character using food stamps to buy bullets?<br /><a name='more'></a><br />A few stats before I get too far into this review:<br />Gallons of fake blood used in production: 15<br />Total of guns used by Mr. Smith: 18 <br />Body Count: 106<br /><br />Clive Owen stars as "Smith", a man who happens to be at the wrong place at the wrong time - and is thrust into a huge convoluted government conspiracy of epic proportions. Paul Giamatti appears in this film, delivering one of the hammiest performances I have ever seen an actor give, all with a completely straight face. He is Elmer Fudd to Clive Owen's Smith, so much so that Owen's character eats carrots throughout the movie and makes reference to Bug's often spoken line, "What's up Doc?" and Giamatti's character has a "Kill the wabbit" ring-tone (from Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries").<br /><br />I'd place this in the same category as the Crank films. Films like <span style="font-style:italic;">Shoot 'Em Up</span> and <span style="font-style:italic;">Crank</span> are designed to be over-the-top. The are movies that know what they're doing and are made by people that understand not only the genre, but tongue-in-cheek humor. You could contrast a movie such as this with any Jason Friedberg/Aaron Seltzer abomination "Spoof Movie" that not only does not understand the concepts it is poking fun of, but doesn't even seem to comprehend much of anything. This movie gets it. The film even has a "Fresh" rating of 66% on Rotten Tomatoes, a score derived from over 150 reviews. <span style="font-style:italic;">They</span> get it.<br /><br />The film has also dropped all the pretentiousness that comes with a typical Michael Bay film. No stupid slow-mo shots with bombastic music blowing out anyone's eardrums here. <span style="font-style:italic;">Hot Fuzz</span> was able to take the concept in the other direction, playing up the ridiculousness of films like <span style="font-style:italic;">Bad Boys</span> successfully, by becoming one. <span style="font-style:italic;">Shoot Em Up</span> transcends.<br /><br />Warehouse fight, check. Hand-to-hand fight in bathroom, check. But there is perhaps one of the most exciting and unique action sequences I have seen in a film towards the end of the movie. Let's just say that it takes place between an airplane and the ground. The green-screen isn't exactly convincing, but the scene is set to AC/DC's "If You Want Blood" and I certainly can't help but smile the entire way through it. Physics and air resistance be damned!<br /><br />I never saw this film in the theaters, but after seeing it, I wish I had.Chrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13232689128686838850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38808844.post-5954125330700252232011-04-06T02:07:00.000-04:002013-02-05T02:40:18.007-05:00Review: The Aviator<img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;width: 550px; height: 281px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixReiv-l_W5RFOoBwNKfjLEK9Tj9Sz1jhZI6wIXm4IwMhg8g2gvFAejnOiBnjt4VGQTuvLWxigc-K3fEABo-o1d17C7sBLXMnphOmQi3MovK2qBxnaofIerfFrZEfDvG4WZtGN/s400/aviator.jpg" border="0" alt="The Aviator staring Leonardo DiCaprio"id="the-aviator" /><br />Lately I have been inundated with television and movies streaming from my little Roku. Taking a break from that for a few days, my eyes wandered over to my IKEA Billy, full of row after row of DVDs, Blu-Rays and even a row of HD-DVDs. Though I'm sorry to report that I do not have any Laserdiscs or Betamax, I do have a handful of VHS tapes. My eyes flew straight to <span style="font-style:italic;">The Aviator</span>, the Martin Scorsese directed bio-flick and one of the best films of 2004 and a film that was nominated for 11 Academy Awards and took home 5 statues.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">The Aviator</span> is a film about Howard Hughes' life. Hughes was an eccentric American industrialist, film producer, director, and aviator (duh!). He produced big-budget films beginning in the 1920s, including the original Scarface in 1932 which was eventually remade with Al Pacino. He had many passions, but none seemed as important as flying. He set many air-speed records and even built airplanes. The most famous I'd hope most of you have at least heard of, the "Spruce Goose," and almost entirely wooden ship. Because of the building materials, being birch and not actually spruce, the ship was huge. So huge it is still the largest flying boat ever built and still has the largest wingspan of any ship in history. It is a behemoth and a sight to be seen. But enough about that, back to the movie.<br /><a name='more'></a><br />The film spends most of its time on Hughes during his initial rise to fame to his later breakdown. With all the fame and fortune that Hughes had, his life was a wreck. He was a brilliant man, but had serious mental issues he had to cope with, most troublesome being the obsessive–compulsive disorder that crippled his social interaction later in life. His compulsiveness with dirt, milk, and urine that is presented in this film appears to be accurate. The reclusive character, Willard Whyte, from the James Bond film Diamonds are Forever is based (loosely) on Hughes. That James Bond film also used his Las Vegas hotel and casino for the filming of that movie because Hughes was a friend of producer Albert Broccoli. The man loved cinema.<br /><br />Leonardo DiCaprio did a phenomenal job as Hughes, coming so far from the so-so acting I first saw him perform back in 1997's Titanic (the boat sinks). I'm beginning to think that what I thought was bad acting in Titanic was actually a fluke, since it's director, James Cameron ranks about one step above George Lucas in being an absolutely terrible "actor's director." Everything else I've seen DiCaprio shows a certain acting competence missing in that first role. I was sold on his Hughes.<br /><br />However, was not as impressed with Cate Blanchett's over-acting as Katherine Hepburn. The surprise here is that Blanchett was the one who won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress for her performance in this film. Kate Beckinsale does a decent job as Ava Gardner. Jude Law does an okay job as Errol Flynn, though he's made to be a bit of a comical buffoon, though this may have been accurate as I didn't know the guy. In a surprise move, No Doubt singer Gwen Stefani does a competent job as Jean Harlow, considering her non-existent filmography before this.<br /><br />The film was devised to look just like the way the color on the film would have looked in it's respective years. The film you see of the scenes set in the 1930s would look relatively close to the film stock of that day, and that same would go for the 40s, the 50s. That's quite an interesting and creative choice to make. I don't have the Blu-Ray version of this film, so I can only judge based off of my so-so copy of the DVD I own which does not produce the sharpness one would get from seeing this on film or on Blu-Ray.<br /><br />Any film by Martin Scorsese is worth seeing, and <span style="font-style:italic;">The Aviator</span> is no exception.Chrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13232689128686838850noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38808844.post-36009466221413785902011-03-30T02:34:00.000-04:002013-02-05T02:40:17.991-05:00It Came From Hulu: The Confession<img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;width: 400px; height: 266px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQhzLkFDNBxra43thRbVIE7Nv3BnfOZfrCNED5Tkiyon9KZeayInDmxVh5hNgC6OTMzElzRWjWYHBfVCg5t5odv3YzdXlqniLAdWIHqQG5EKN0zYo2VUzkvD3gGFndhpocc0tt/s400/TheConfession-keifer.jpg" alt="The Confession" id="The-Confession" /><br />"Jack's Back!" Well not quite, but this may be the closest audiences will get to seeing our favorite CTU agent for quite a long time.<br /><br />Emmy award winner Kiefer Sutherland stars in a ten part good verses evil web series drama that can be seen on Hulu (at <a href="http://www.hulu.com/the-confession">http://www.hulu.com/the-confession</a>). The series debuted with its first three episodes on March 28th.<br /><a name='more'></a><br />Sutherland is "The Confessor," who has arrived at a church for confession with a priest (played by John Hurt). For all the things that the cold-blooded Confessor has done to people, the evil that he has committed, he can't comprehend how people still manage to find faith and the ability to forgive. The Confessor's last "hit" before coming to the church, where his victim prayed and then forgave him before being murdered, has shaken his nihilistic beliefs. The Priest is understandably afraid of this monster, but continues to listen, with a certainly curiosity, to The Confessor out of fear of his congregation's lives.<br /><br />Each episode runs roughly 6 to 7 minutes long.<br /><br /><div style="display:block; text-align:center;"><object width="512" height="288"><param name="movie" value="http://www.hulu.com/embed/LOTcM21wVec4dpInOdLsmA"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.hulu.com/embed/LOTcM21wVec4dpInOdLsmA" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="512" height="288" allowFullScreen="true"></embed></object></div><br />The next two episodes are due out on April 4. In the meantime, catch the first three.Chrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13232689128686838850noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38808844.post-87801350392420360932011-03-21T02:33:00.000-04:002013-02-05T02:40:18.017-05:00It Came From Netflix: The Dungeonmaster<blockquote>Well, I reject your reality and substitute my own!<br /></blockquote>No, these immortal words were not originally spoken by Adam Savage of Mythbusters fame, but by Paul Bradford, computer programmer and champion of all that is good in the world, staring in a film that contains nothing good at all.<br /><br /><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHkpipN1WaApyhxEmCD1QigUyBqw_JOIN7yflaIsvCZ_FUQXRjiY9TzUMNpKkv_495z3ZcZlRIk45-Jh3q9o-gz0GGtGnD74jmNIUnJJSM1B7pXFryC-aU2p4AVUL5NaYmehGJ/s400/mestema-dungeonmaster-ragewar.jpg" border="0" alt="Mestema sitting on his throne" /><br />I was first introduced to this film at the <a href="http://www.wpfs.org">Washington Psychotronic Film Society</a>, a group of people “dedicated to the the appreciation and defense of: Independent, cutting-edge, student, experimental, anime, off-beat, underground, obscure, super-8, low-budget, classic, forgotten, must-see, and just about anything on film.” The Dungeonmaster is a 1984 science-fiction/fantasy film (originally titled "Ragewar: The Challenges of Excalibrate") starring Jeffrey Byron, Charles Moll and Leslie Wing certainly qualifies. After watching this, no one should be surprised that the movie had seven different directors. Yes, seven directors, those include Dave Allen, Charles Band, John Carl Buechler, Steven Ford, Peter Manoogian, Ted Nicolaou, and Rosemarie Turko. You know you're in for something... <span style="font-style:italic;">unique</span> when the film has that many directors.<br /><a name='more'></a><br />The movie concerns itself with a computer programmer named Paul Bradford and his girlfriend Gwen, who along with Paul's artificial intelligence, X-CaliBR8 (Cal), are transported to a dimly lit locale by Mestema, an evil sorcerer. Over the years, Mestema has grown bored, so to entertain his whims and fancies he chooses an opponent to challenge him every few centuries. Out of all the people in the entire planet, he chooses Paul. I suspect he was chosen for his ability to control traffic lights and steal from ATMs with his computer, which is linked up inside his glasses. Perhaps his thievery is to be admired since he only stole 20 dollars from the ATM to buy his girlfriend some flowers.<br /><br />In this nightmare world, Paul's computer has magically become a wristband computer, and Mestema has confusingly knighted Paul as “Excalibrate” - the film then spends precious time revealing why he's now being called Excalibrate by his captor. Oh yeah, that's his computer's name too! Genius!<br /><br />He is thrown into Mestema's first challenge, a chase with two "little people" and then a confrontation with a giant rock creature. On my first viewing of this film I wasn't sure what to make of it. At all. It was confusing, the "challenge" didn't really make a whole lot of sense since there was absolutely no setup or reasoning for his actions in defeating the rock creature other than firing a laser at it, oh – we also learn here that Cal can now fire lasers. This development appears to be something devised my Mestema, because there would be absolutely no way that Paul could possibly have developed such a device. Think of the millions that Paul could have made selling this kind of technology. No, it had to have been given to him by Mestema. Though why Mestema would give him such an advantage is a bit odd, especially since he calls Paul's computer a "magic machine," seemingly unaware as to many of its abilities. And thus, each subsequent “challenge” is presented in the same, increasingly redundant way, between scenes where Mestema battles him with absurd dialogue.<br /><br />Paul then arrives in a cave full of zombies. His attackers are quickly subdued, with almost embarrassing ease. He meets their ruler, or what I can only presume was the ruler of this world – Ratspit. Paul "insults" him by calling him "Spitrat," like the name Ratspit isn't insult enough. Oh, by the way, Ratspit looks pretty much like a jacked up <a href="http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Salacious_B._Crumb">Salacious Crumb</a> from Return of the Jedi. Apparently he wins this challenge because he says "Well, I reject your reality and substitute my own!"<br /><br />I seriously don't know where they came up with this stuff... He has to save Gwen from the rock band <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/W.A.S.P._%28band%29">W.A.S.P.</a>, using some kind of sound amplifier from Cal to destroy them and save Gwen from having her body rubbed with a machete. This armband machine can do anything! This sequence lasts about a long as a song, so I suspect they thought W.A.S.P. and/or a heavy metal music video would be a draw for the audience. W.A.S.P.’s front man Blackie Lawless appears prominently on the cover of the VHS release of The Dungeonmaster. I'm sure some poor W.A.S.P. fan picked this film up back in the day and was disappointed to find out that Blackie only showed up for 3 or 4 minutes, and most of that was prancing around fondling Gwen with a large knife.<br /><br /><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVhNZYGbhNkc53p3ZxXqQxTGKmL4XnNZoqFonLdlgajLMxAF_bPv-chVM-gWCX30MCp8q40my41y1UO8k9HASZEfnhLBl5hbwYO13zi4PSWQ5CfJ3dBaN37KelpuH4pTbIKtrj/s400/paul-gwen-dungeonmaster-ragewar.jpg" border="0" alt="Paul and Gwen" /><br />The next challenge finds Paul and Gwen finally reunited together, albeit for a short time, in an ice cave, full of mass murderers and Albert Einstein for some unexplained reason. Completely unexplained. He's simply *there* among these murderers. Again, Paul uses his laser beam from the first challenge to fend off some of the attackers, then gets the idea of throwing a crystal Einstein is holding to destroy the rest. Somehow he figures this out, though I don't know how.<br /><br />Then, one of the more promising sequences comes along one where Paul is framed as a serial killer (who wouldn't think that with the horrid costume he wore?). This sequence ends up falling to pieces simply because there just isn't enough strength in the rest of the film, plus some of the glaring plot holes that occur during it. In this particular piece it seems that Gwen has forgotten all about Mestema and being tested. I wonder if the film could have been better had they focused primarily on this segment, along with one or two others, instead of giving us more than a handful of mediocre ones.<br /><br />The next segment has Paul facing a cave creature who throws explosive "things" at him. The cave creature accidentally kills itself and transforms into an Angel and scolds him for coming into the cave. So yes, he wins this one accidentally. I was left scratching my head here. I've seen the film on both VHS and Netflix, so it wasn't like I was missing anything in particular as far as I was aware. It was as if they got partway though this sequence, cut out the substantive parts of it, and then decided to keep the sequence to pad out the story a bit.<br /><br />The final sequence is a direct rip from The Road Warrior, in a post-apocalyptic setting which once again presents us with a "little" person, with a terrible over-dub on his dialogue, rendering any frame where he appears more like one out of a comedy then whatever this is supposed to be. Both Paul and Gwen apparently lose this contest, though under circumstances that are confusing considering the absolute weakness of some of the previous challenges. At the end of this contest, Mestema and Paul fight in mortal combat, with Mestema falling to... what I would suppose would be his "death." Paul then breaks whatever remaining laws of physics left untouched in this film by pulling himself up from certain death after Cal creates a solid beam of light to pull himself up from the edge of the abyss. The film abruptly ends with Paul and Gwen transported back in their apartment.<br /><br />Was it really a bored Devil, wanting to test someone "worthy?" Was it all a dream? Was it a group hallucination from carbon monoxide poisoning? Was it Cal all along, trying to teach the two lovebirds to get married? A more fitting question would be simply: Why?... The Dungeonmaster is not a good film by any lengths of the imagination, however the film succeeds in being a great deal of fun, from its music, costumes, hilarious dialogue and nonsensical plot.Chrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13232689128686838850noreply@blogger.com0