BREAKING: Lindsay Lohan sues Lindsay Lohan for ruining own image

I'm normally willing to give someone the benefit of the doubt but Lohan's been off the deep end for years.

A lawsuit has been brought against E-Trade for the use of the name "Lindsey/Lindsay" in an E-Trade commercial, where Miss Lohan believes her first name is such a staple that the public will recognize it alongside names such as Cher, Madonna, or Oprah is laughable at best.

Lohan's own destructive behavior has already caused enough damage on its own.

Put a fork in it, she's done. One can pretty much mark the end of her career when William H. Macy ripped her a new one. I sincerely hope she likes filming movies in Bulgaria because she's only going to be in SyFy Original Pictures from this point on in her career.

Spider-Man franchise dead, will be rebooted. Others just as cursed?

In a shocking display of incompetent decisions, the powers that be have decided that if they can't get Sam Raimi to direct the 4th installment, that they'll just reboot the franchise and start all over again.

What? Peter back in high school? Another origin story?

I don't need to see a 3rd origin story of Spider-Man. Yep, I said third. I contend that Spider-Man 2 is basically a remake of the first film, rehashing the same themes and villainous behavior as the first film, and actually serves as a fine introduction to the franchise as it turns out the first film *is* unnecessary to watch because the second film does such a good job covering all the plot points that we *don't* see on screen during that film.

Spare us, please. Find a new director. Re-cast the principles if they refuse to work on a 4th film without Raimi. Keep any of the actors who chose to remain in the series. If worse comes to worse, make Spider-Man 4 like a vague sequel/reboot in the vein of Superman Returns. Say what you want about how boring the film was, but it was clever enough to serve as an unconventional reboot since Superman is already Superman. We didn't need to see him launched from Krypton again, or growing up for 50 minutes in Smallville again, or get a job at the Daily Planet again, or meet Lois Lane for the first time, again. It was already done and the film implied that.

I can only imagine that the tedium of seeing Peter Parker go through the motions of high school life, get bit by a radioactive/genetically altered spider, and then grow into his powers will seem, well, sort of unnecessary. Should they begin the film with Parker already Spider-Man, along the lines of Batman (1989); The Incredible Hulk (2008); or even Hellboy, where we're not forced to sit through the tedium of seeing the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense created and Hellboy "fit right in"; I may be less perturbed.

Though this does not bode well for any franchise.

In my occasional lambasting of the Star Trek franchise, I like to point out that I can't imagine that this young cast will stick around for more than 2 or 3 films before at least one of the main cast wants out, or asks for too much money and is written out (either in a quick cameo death scene or has been "transferred" and never seen again). Especially if follow up films take so long to get even pre-production started. I fully expect that within the decade they'll "reboot" Star Trek again.

The Hobbit was a sure fire green-lit project, and what even with the legal issues a few years back, it may not even be released in 2011? What a joke. The first drafts should have been completed 8 years ago, and the moment any legal issues were finally resolved (it was always a matter of *when,* not *if*) the film should have gone into real pre-production. The film(s) should have already been released.

I suspect that with the financial problems that are plaguing MGM, that Daniel Craig may only get one more James Bond film in under his belt before hanging up his Walther PPK. Franchises like James Bond, which will almost always be guaranteed an additional film, should already begin lining up their script for the subsequent film before the previous film has even been released. Script revisions can (and should) be done if any carried over elements from the prior film into the current script needed tweaking. The film should lock down the roles of Bond, M, and Leiter far in advance and production should begin within a year for the next film to be released two calendar years later.

Do I blame Spider-Man's reboot woes entirely on long gaps between production of sequels? Not entirely. I do see it as an industry wide problem with studios unable to keep their shit together, especially when it comes to handling franchises. It really should not be that hard. They used to be able to do this with a lot more ease in the past. What is happening?

Bryan Singer returns to X-Men franchise

Bryan Singer will develop and direct "X-Men: First Class" for 20th Century Fox based on an article I read at IMDb. I'm not sure how to feel about this after seeing his Superman film, however he did make two solid X-Men films and none of the Superman films have been "great."

Before you freak out, the first Superman film has wonderful Smallville scenes at the beginning than collapses into parody, the second film has some moments but just isn't that good, and the less that's said about the next two, the better. Singer's Superman film wasn't an awful Superman film, but it wasn't a good film. However, I'd consider X2 a good film, and not just a good X-Men film, so there is promise.

How did I miss theses?

This will hopefully become a regular post of various musings and interesting tidbits I've come across over the last week (two weeks, month?). So he's the ones I've come across just over the last few days:

Mad Max

I knew a fourth installment of the Mad Max series was green-lit (probably called Mad Max: Fury Road). What I didn't realize was that UK actor, Tom Hardy is the lead. Hardy was the main villain of the tenth Star Trek film, Nemesis. The poorly edited film butchered not only the main cast's performances, but his as well and it appeared to almost destroy what many believed was a rising star.

1. Let's hope this Mad Max film is good.
2. Let's hope that time has been good to Hardy and that if he still has that promise, that he can capitalize on it.

Heck, based on the last few sequels, I don't expect much, but hey - it's gotta be better than "Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome"

Green Lantern

In February I mentioned that they got director Martin Campbell (GoldenEye, Casino Royale) attached. Then, back in July they cast Ryan Reynolds as the most well known and probably the most popular Green Lantern, Hal Jordan. Now I've read that the upcoming Green Lantern film will not be an "origin" story. Thank God. I'm sick of these things - where the film never picks up until the final act because the first 3/4ths of it were spent introducing everyone to the "universe." This may backfire, but I'm hoping that it works and could set a sta

When it works, it works - the newest Hulk film was a vast improvement over the 2003 version - which presented the "origin" as an arty montage in during the opening credits instead of spending the entire film setting up the pieces for a sequel that never happened. I personally find that Spider-Man was essentially all build up, with Spider-Man 2 re-hashing the exact same plot points (walking into Spider-Man 2 without any knowledge of the events in the first film is extremely easy). Batman Begins and Iron Man are exceptions, but with the rumors of a "origin" story Superman film in the works, I was worried we couldn't just be introduced mid-stream to someone (a la Batman '89).

Parker Brothers is insane

The toy company, Parker Brothers, and whoever those production companies that bought the rights to their boardgames are morons. Clue at least had established characters that could conceivably be expanded into a whodunit mystery film. Battleship? Monopoly?

What, does the film primarily follow Mr. Moneybags as he gets $15 bank errors in his favor and is consistently thrown in jail only to be released because of lucky dice throws? I'd hate to even look to see if a "Risk" movie is being made...

Dennis Hopper has Prostate Cancer

Moments after watching his Twilight Zone episode, "He's Alive," I find out Dennis Hopper has been diagnosed with prostate cancer. Let's hope for the best.

Paranormal Activity wins weekend

Paranormal Activity, in it's 5th week released, has finally earned the top spot in the box office, beating newcomers Saw VI, The Vampire's Assistant and Astro Boy.

I'm also surprised to see that the film's average theater take is the highest of (at least) the top 15 films of the weekend. Not bad!

Full season of Community and Parks and Recreation ordered

While I'm *still* not sure about what I think about Parks and Recreation, I'm quite happy to hear that Community has been picked up for a full season. I think the series has a lot of potential in it. Let's hope it doesn't lose steam.

I'm also not sure why it took me 6 episodes to realize that one of the characters is played by Alison Brie, who plays "Trudy Campbell" on Mad Men.

New Stargate film by Emmerich?

Well, I'm shocked. Well, okay, I'm not that shocked. I've read articles about how Emmerich and Dean Devlin have been trying to float a direct sequel to the Stargate film.

The problem was that the show is moderately popular, and that the films would have nothing to do with the continuity established in the film. That's a problem, and it seems to be the same problem the rumored "Bryan Singer Battlestar Galactica" film is having.

There's just no way that they could pull off what essentially is a reboot of the franchise while the series is still on the air. That would be like if they had released the Star Trek reboot back in 2002.

I've heard that they may fit this in between the first film and the start of the series, but unless it doesn't involve any of the characters or even Earth, there's no real point. Personally they should have just adapted 10,000 BC as a prequel (of course making it better) where the revolution against Ra occurs.

New Stargate looks theatrical

I was hesitant to watch this, especially after how convoluted and stale both Stargate SG-1 turned out in its final season and how Stargate Atlantis fell apart halfway through it's run around the same time. But I finally saw this trailer, and was pretty impressed. The cast looks fantastic (Robert Carlyle, Lou Diamond Phillips, Ming-Na among others) and the production quality looks to be a step up from both SG-1 and Atlantis.

Depending on how the series plays itself out, I may find myself watching.

RIP Patrick Swayze

Swayze passed away at age 57 today in Los Angeles.

Kanye interrupts more than just Taylor Swift

In an extremely ungrateful and undignified way (but not surprising), Kanye decided that he wasn't just content with complaining about his own failures (such as trying to argue on stage that he deserves awards that are won by others), but convinced that he can "speak the truth" about perceived injustices which befall others.

Well, tonight that wonderful man decided that Beyoncé deserved the win for Best Female Video at the MTV Video Music Awards (probably one of the few days that music is performed on the network each year). So, not believing what was happening when Taylor Swift happened to win, he promptly went on stage in the middle of Swift's acceptance speech to set the record straight. He took the mic from her and went on to say that Beyoncé had "one of the best videos of all time" before shrugging and walking off stage leaving a visibly upset Swift standing there, with the audience knowing that a precious moment in that young musician's life was just crushed.

People shouldn't be surprised. This just happens to be one of numerous times that Kanye has done something along these lines. People may remember last week's presidential speech...

In other related news, Kanye loves fish sticks.

Guy Ritchie directing "Lobo"?

Woah no. The "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels" and "Snatch" director will begin production of Lobo in early 2010.

Early reports claim the film will likely have a PG-13 rating, which would likely be his second one after "Sherlock Holmes," which debuts this December.

Edward Kennedy dead at 77

I could say some really nasty things, but I don't speak ill of the recently deceased, so I'll just stick with a little Simpsons:

Bryan Singer brought in to direct 2nd Battlestar Galactica remake

Recently it has come out that Bryan Singer (director of the first two X-Men films, The Usual Suspects, Superman Returns) will helm the second remake of Battlestar Galactica.

I grew up with the original show. I watched the entire series multiple times from start to finish throughout my childhood. I refused to watch the new series for almost two entire years because of my fond memories of the original show. That is, until I caught a few episodes of the original show in reruns some fateful day. As a full fledged adult, the show's weakness were apparent and immediately decided to give the new series a try. After watching the miniseries I frankly didn't give a care about the 1978 and its dreadful followup series in 1980 anymore.

Perhaps a remake could fix the inherent problems with the original (from 1978). The thing is that there just aren't enough people who were fans of the original when it first aired that actually *care* enough or pine for a remake. I know people who watched it when it first aired that haven't really thought about the original since 1978. That's what you're dealing with. There aren't 60+ million people who care, there aren't 10 million, and I doubt there are even more than a few thousand that *really* care.

BSG was out of the limelight for over 20 years. Star Trek's franchise has been alive (even if not well towards the end) and kicking since the 60s. Star Trek is part of the public consciousness. People who don't like Star Trek still get Star Trek references. That's why the Star Trek remake did well.

BSG just can't compete by screaming "we're bringing back the 'real' BSG!" Since there simply aren't enough people who care.

• The story/plot/mood will need to remain "faithful" (and close to) the original's "care free" and "optimistic" future which the general audience will likely not buy. Lizards robots, characters with no real discernible flaws aside from pride and naivete, Black Hat Baltar.


• The film will probably not pull in the right crowd if it's too much like the original. The plot will be updated for modern sensibilities. Making it "darker" will only get it compared to the RDM version. Too soon, too similar. Fans of original will cry blasphemy. If any characters, events, or "story elements" get cut or re-worked, original fans will be "outraged."

I'm most curious whether or not the ardent overzealous fans of the original will "take" to another remake. Or because Glen Larson (producer of the original BSG and a whole bunch of 70s and 80s schlock) is supposed to be "on board" - that it is somehow okay?

Hype that kills [Avatar]

Well, the cat is out of the bag. Avatar's teaser has been released.

Yesterday I thought that once the trailer was released, that the ardent fanbase would dissect every single aspect which would eventually be used to support how the film will not only break box office records, but will be the best film in the last decade, if not the best science fiction movie ever.

Back in July 2008 I wrote about how I thought Avatar was hyped up to a ridiculous degree. JULY 2008, over a year ago

Little to nothing was known until now about the film beyond a few comments from Cameron and a few of the crew. People were ranting and raving even back in 2007 (and earlier) about how "game changing" and revolutionary - photo realistic even - the film would be.

Well, it's out. The graphics don't look bad, they just don't look as good as has been hyped up for the last two years. Davy Jones in the Pirates films looked better. That's a bad sign. If people can't buy a 10 foot tall blue creature (as was claimed the audience would easily accept) - then that's it. Game over man. Game over.

The best series on TV

It's back! Mad Men's third season just premiered last night.

With Battlestar Galactica now finished and off the air, Mad Men is the reigning champion of television. I would sincerely suggest checking out the first two seasons and getting yourself caught up with the current season.

Beer Pioneers film

On vacation, but can't stop me from writing.

Coming in summer 2010 is a documentary that is about the history craft beer in America. Should be interesting.

Beer Pioneers website.

John Hughes, director - dead at 59

He was the director of 1980s staples such as Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Weird Science, Planes, Trains & Automobiles, and Uncle Buck. He also happened to be the writer of a whole slew of memorable films as well, including Mr. Mom, Vacation, Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, European Vacation, Weird Science, Pretty in Pink, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Planes, Trains & Automobiles, Uncle Buck, Christmas Vacation, and the first two Home Alone films.

Ridley Scott is Directing ALIEN Prequel

The man who launched the Alien series will be returning to direct the upcoming prequel.

Fantastic news!

Matt Helm remake? By Spielberg?

I've just read on Cinematical that Steven Spielberg might be making a 'Matt Helm' film.

I've previously reviewed The Silencers and Murderers' Row, and have been meaning to cover the last two films that, well were pretty forgettable and very awful.

I am under the assumption that a remake will remain a campy, comedic spoof like the Dean Martin films were like. While I haven't read the books, I know that the films were nothing like the books. They were serious, not "silly."

The films were even less like a James Bond adaptation, where at least a Bond film would use some plot points and many of the characters - albeit used in a largely different capacity.

The only way to restart the franchise would be to start over and stick close to the source material. There are 27 published books to choose from, it can't be that hard. Do it right and you have a viable franchise that could last years.