Watchful Eye (a.k.a. Voyeur Beach)

Watchful Eye, or Voyeur Beach as I knew it in my youth, is a late-night made-for-cable "erotic thriller."

I first saw this movie probably about 7 years ago on HBO Zone, a great HBO channel to watch a bunch of schlocky films by day and then these types of films by night.

The plot of Watchful Eye concerns Shannon, played by the wonderful Renee Rea, as a new roommate in a house that has very shading happenings going on. Unlike a lot of the "erotic" films - the adult scenes are very short, and are only barely more than you'd typically find in a hard-"R" rated film. The movie is full of eye candy, as all the actresses are pretty attractive.

So from the very start it's clear that the house is wired with cameras so that perverts can spy on them and make some cash. Probably describes the pitch to the people who produced this film too. Apparently the European import contains 7 minutes of cut footage. Why you'd cut a film that is already presumably "uncut" - I have no idea.

A few notes I took while watching this:

-Beginning of film: Wow, this guy looks like he's trying to be Shawn Ashmore before Shawn Ashmore was Shawn Ashmore.
-00:10:50 mark: Jeez guys, white balance your cameras!
-"Bailamos" knock-off music during one of the "adult" scenes.
-00:20:30 mark: Nice moves Renee!
-00:45:00 mark: WHITE BALANCE
-All the male leads look like the same guy.
-End: Why am I taking notes?

If you like this kind of schlocky film, check it out.

Camp Cuddly Pines Powertool Massacre

"I don't think moose SCAMPER!"

Camp Cuddly Pines Powertool Massacre is a 2005 adult comedy-horror film. The film was released by Wicked Pictures and stars Stormy Daniels, Jessica Drake, Eric Masterson, Tommy Gunn, Voodoo and Nicole Sheridan.

The presentation of this feature is top-notch. The image quality is pretty fantastic and the camera work may not be extra-ordinary, but it is leaps and bounds above the amateurish attempts that many independent studios are capable of in producing a horror film given the same basic budget. But what of the acting you say?

Surely the acting in a pornographic film has got to be terrible. Well, the acting is actually pretty good here as well. I mean, any movie where Voodoo makes an appearance isn't going to be Oscar worthy, and there's some clunky dialogue that characters like Jessica Drake is forced to read through, but all-in-all it's far better than what you'd find in a low-budget horror flick. You're as surprised to hear that as I was to say it.

The gore does take a back-seat in this film, so even though it is most assuredly an adult feature, the movie's focus is not directly on the horror. Why should it? These are supposed to be "designed for couples" (or lonely single men). Nearly every single normal person out there does not want to see blood and gore interspersed with sex scenes.

In terms of the horror, it's all tongue-in-cheek (that was not intended to be a pun). The film molds itself after Scary Movie more than it does Scream or something serious like The Ring, Friday the 13th and A Nightmare on Elm Street, however it does take a lot of inspiration from the last two listed. You see, Kristen (Stormy), Jessica (Jessica Drake) and Rayford, Todd and Josh (Eric Masterson, Voodoo and Tommy Gunn respectively) are all headed to a Metalicide concert when they accidentally hit a homeless drifter that Kristen first believes to be a hurt Moose. Trouble ensues when they tie the dead man to the roof and then get lost in the woods.

Randy Spears makes an appearance as the town's sheriff, and I came extremely close to laughing until I puked. Can we get him in every movie please? Oh and going along with that horror movie staple, nearly every single person who has sex dies immediately afterward.

The video is historic in a way, as it is the first adult film to be released on the HD DVD format. The run-time is roughly 2 and a half hours. Oh, and please be 18 before enjoying this.

Virtual Nature: Everywhere You Go

I almost forgot about this video, until I recovered it off of an old VHS tape. This video clip is from the apparently forgotten "Minds Eye" spin-off, "Virtual Nature" which was released on VHS in 1993. Virtual Nature was discontinued sometime in the mid-90s.

This video is part 8 of 8, titled "Everywhere You Go" and is very similar to the original version of "Afternoon Adventure" found on the "Beyond the Minds Eye" video. Enjoy.

Caprica

I am a huge fan of Battlestar Galactica. As such, over the last few months since that series ended, I have been looking forward to this spin-off prequel with great anticipation.

Caprica is a different type of show. It’s about a different time, taking place 58 years before the events of the Battlestar Galactica miniseries. The society is decadent, it’s bloated, advanced, and is troubled.

Caprica may feel like a “soap opera” but that’s the nature of the show. It’s more drama than sci-fi action.

Since this is only a pilot to a series that is coming in 2010 - long after the SciFi Channel changes its name to the vastly inferior “SyFy” – there isn’t “much” here to go on. A traditional film would expend far too much time and development too quickly. For an introduction into the series, the film serves its purposes just fine.

This show should even be interesting to those who are unfamiliar with the previous series Battlestar Galactica. It builds on the events leading up to the first Cylon war, where the Cylons, a robotic race is created and eventually rebels against their Human masters. No prior knowledge is necessary, though minor subtleties may be lost or be found to be unimportant when they show up. This is not like the Star Wars prequels, which I can’t imagine being “fun” to watch in any respects if you have no prior knowledge of who Obi-Wan Kenobi is, or why we should care if the Jedi are killed off. I knew what happened and I still didn’t care!

Eric Stoltz stars as Daniel Graystone, who is spurred to try and resurrect his daughter Zoe (Alessandra Toreson) after she dies in a terrorist attack. Esai Morales is Joseph Adams, who’s wife and daughter are both killed in that same attack and who is left to raise his son, William. Also starring is Paula Malcomson as Amanda Graystone, Daniel’s wife; Polly Walker as Sister Clarice Willow; and Sasha Roiz as Sam Adama, Joseph’s brother.

I know this will eventually make its way into a box set. I realize that, but don’t mind – since I’m viewing this an entire year before the box set (which I’ll pick up on Blu-Ray) will be released. This will tide me over just fine.

*** 1/2 out of *****

Stargate SG-1: Continuum

Continuum is the second direct-to-dvd film produced after the cancellation of the series, Stargate SG-1.

The movie stars Ben Browder as Cameron Mitchell, Amanda Tapping as Samantha Carter, Christopher Judge as Teal'c, Michael Shanks as Dr. Daniel Jackson, Beau Bridges as Hank Landry and Claudia Black as Vala.

While the first DVD film, Ark of Truth, was a movie that resolved the open storylines that were left open at the end of the series, this film is a completely stand alone film, that requires “no” knowledge of the series plots that have come before it.

The film follows a tried and true (or overused) "alternate reality/time travel" story that is used numerous times throughout the series. Nothing really new here.

While technically the film does not require viewing of the series beforehand, I would say that the experience would be greatly enhanced if the viewer actually watched the series, as the impact of character actions might feel hollow if there is no knowledge of Mitchell, O’Neill, or Jackson is present. Also, the main villain of the film, Ba’al is a reoccurring character in the series (first appearing in the 5th season) would not be so menacing if the viewer had no previous “contact” with him.

*** out of *****

Stargate SG-1: The Ark of Truth

Stargate SG-1’s 10 season was not meant to be its last. The network the series aired on, Sci-Fi decided to cancel the series. MGM, the company that produced the series did not take the news kindly. The series ended, without a real resolution to the current plotline. Without a network to air, the production company turned to the DVD market for an outlet.

The movie stars Ben Browder as Cameron Mitchell, Amanda Tapping as Samantha Carter, Christopher Judge as Teal'c, Michael Shanks as Dr. Daniel Jackson, Beau Bridges as Hank Landry and Claudia Black as Vala. Morena Baccarin, Tim Guinee, and Julian Sands also star.

From Wikipedia:

The movie covers SG-1's attempt to recover the "Ark of Truth", an Alteran device designed to brainwash whoever looks into it. Even though the Ori's promise of Ascension is a lie, the Ancients believed that people should be free to believe it if they wished.

For Stargate, the story itself is okay, though the movie’s only purpose is to wrap up the outstanding plot threads that were not wrapped up in the series. As a stand-alone film, it’s useless. Even with the 15 or so minute recap, there is no way that someone who is not up to speed with the happenings of the previous two seasons would be completely lost.

So thanks goes out for MGM's support of the franchise, since we would never have seen a resolution to the Ori arc if not for them. I stopped watching Stargate Atlantis, a spin-off of SG-1, in the middle of the third season, but I'm not surprised they're taking the same route of "we didn't finish the actual story arc so buy our glorified 2-part episode made into a DVD-film for $15.99"

*** out of *****

Tales of the Black Freighter + Under the Hood

I just picked up copy of the Blu-Ray and I have to say I was quite impressed.

The original graphic novel of Watchmen features a story-within-a-story called Tales of the Black Freighter. The story is originally intertwined with scenes of a character reading the comic book, within the Watchmen universe in multiple chapters in the story. Due to super heroes being "real" there's no interest in super hero comic books – pirate stories apparently have taken their place.

The story presented in Tales of the Black Freighter is a story of a young seaman who attempts to return home to warn his town of the coming of the Black Freighter. His ship is destroyed and he is marooned on an island. To escape he must use means that slowly drive him more and more mad. His madness ends up being his undoing. The film ends with the song "Pirate Jenny", from "The Threepenny Opera." Gerard Butler voices the main character of the story, "Tales of the Black Freighter."


Under the Hood was a wonderful compilation of the appendix material found in the graphic novel. It takes material not only from Hollis Mason's Under the Hood excerpts, but also some of the other interview material as well. It's all presented in a well-presented mockumentary fashion.

I was quite impressed by the wealth of visual material on display, from interviews, to faux archival footage, black-and-white photos, and newspaper headlines. The short film really dug deeper into the history and universe created and only hinted at in the Watchmen film. The short film features the characters of Hollis Mason (who wrote the book Under the Hood), Sally Jupiter, Wally Weaver, Sally’s ex-husband, The Comedian, former villain Moloch, and others.

This ends up providing the same basic aid to the story that the excerpts provided in the graphic novel helped expand the Watchmen universe. In many respects I would almost suggest this to someone who has not read the graphic novel, as they would be introduced to the world, some of the characters, and have a sense of history to go with it. The downside is that it may only be interesting to someone who already is familiar with these characters, as it plays the documentary angle extremely straight. In other words, people may find it "boring" since they’re not invested in the characters and history already.

I’m hoping that much of this footage somehow makes its way into a future extended release, or at the very least is provided as a recommended companion piece when the ultimate edition comes out.

While I did not expect a lot from Under the Hood, I ended up being more impressed with the short film than I did with Tales of the Black Freighter. Both were good, and something that should be looked into if you enjoyed Watchmen.

Black Freighter - *** out of *****
Under the Hood - *** 1/2 out of *****

Wait... when the heck did this happen?

Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day.

When did this happen?

Just about since the first film was released and became a hit on DVD, the film has had an IMDb board. Whether it is the same board or if it has continued to be resurrected, I'm not sure. Every few years I'd find myself there, looking at an entry for a film that was rumored to start production, but that never seemed to be able to find the financing, or there just wasn't any clear interest in making the film, or some other unforeseen issue befell the start of production. At many points people said that Troy Duffy would never work in the industry again. I thought it was dead. Now, I find myself here, and am surprised to see that not only is it being made, but that they're finishing up post-production. Very interesting!

I'm hopeful that the film is at least as half as entertaining as the first film.

Super Mario Brothers - Frustration

Gate into the Mind’s Eye

1994
Director: Too many to mention
Music By: Thomas Dolby, Dr. Fiorella Terenzi
Edited by: Michael Boydstun

Summary:

Like the original, the plot is divided into music videos, each displaying different animation and music to fit the mood of the piece. This is a fully computer animated film from 1994, which showcased dozens of animator’s talents.

The world is in chaos. The battle to save Earth wages on, and it looks like all is lost. The only way to end it all is to start completely over. Will the new world suffer the same fate as the last?

Review:

While I said nostalgia was the reasons I enjoyed the first movie in the series more than its “technically” superior sequel, it is not true for “The Gate.”

Visually stunning, some elements almost hold up even today (if not at least 5 years ago). The music is hypnotizing, and fit better in this film than even the previous to films did. Of course there are some pretentious critics, claiming that this film is “behind the times”, even for 1994, the freaking dawn of commonplace computer animation.

This entry into the seriously has an mildly loose theme running through most of the film.

In addition to the “apocalyptic Earth”/”Rebirth” theme, there are a few music video style stand alone shorts towards the end. “Armageddon” and “Nuvogue” are the highlights of the video.

Verdict: ****/*****

Beyond the Mind's Eye

1992
Directed By: Too many to name
Music By: Jan Hammer

Summary:

Like the original, the plot is divided into music videos, each displaying different animation and music to fit the mood of the piece. This is a fully computer animated film from 1992, which showcased dozens of animator’s talents.

Review:

This film, while for nostalgia reasons, is not as good as the original, is a solid continuation of the work done in the original Mind’s Eye film. Again, someone watching this today, without the proper context would probably think that it’s garbage. People who do realize the value of the work that was done 15 years ago, and I suppose someone on many illicit drugs, would probably agree that the entire thing is suburb.

Unfortunately it looks like this film has dropped off the DVD production line, so it’s nearly impossible to find.

Verdict: ***/*****

The Mind’s Eye

Released: 1990
Director: Too many to mention
Staring: Strictly animation

Summary:

The plot is divided into music videos, each displaying different animation and music to fit the mood of the piece. This is a fully computer animated film from 1990, which showcased dozens of animator’s talents.

Review:

Now some of you readers may not feel that this is worthy of mention, as it was a direct to video production, but since I get the final say on what goes here, here it is. Looking at this today, some people might find the animation to be anything but good. If you didn’t get the chance to see this gem in the early nineties, then you may be lost forever. The shear quality of some of the animation, especially for much of it being done in the late 80s, is astounding. I get mesmerized by the entire thing each time I watch it. Since it is not available on DVD anymore, it may be nearly impossible to find this one anywhere.

Verdict ****/*****