Monday, July 02, 2007

Space Mutiny


It's not unlike ancient dental equipment on Earth - not that you'd know anything about that!

I hope the above highly confusing quote helps you discover how truly awful this film is. No it was not taken out of context, that’s the caliber of writing that this “gem” has.

On the surface, Space Mutiny looks like an episode of Battlestar Galactica. No, not the new show that still airs new episodes on Sci-Fi, but the cornball, schlocky one that was full of people in bell bottoms, feathered hair, and continued to go to discotheques in almost every episode even after their entire civilization collapsed and their species was past the statistical point of genocide. But I digress. This film makes the show they borrowed the effects shots from look like a complete gem of all things media.

So they skimped on the budget for the space shots. Means they must have a lot of money to spend on sets, right? Wrong. If the film doesn’t’ take place in some second-rate television show’s rejected mid-80s idea of a “computer center” – perhaps a bad episode of the old Buck Rogers show - or it takes place in a warehouse. That’s right I typed correctly, a warehouse. The best bit is when sunlight bleeds through the windows (and not like light from a nearby star, but ATMOSPHERE). The ship is big enough for a low speed “action” chase – one where the main character could have run faster to catch the perpetrator. The most hilarious bit is the “crash” at the end of the “chase” – which is akin to having a car flip due to a minor fender bender.

So with the budget cut on both the models and sets, you’d think the acting and script would be good? Wrong again! The dialogue, like the above quote, is atrocious.

The commander looks just like the Classic Coca-Cola Santa Claus. The aliens, the Bellerians, have literally no point other than to dance around and look into the old “Spencer’s Gift” glowing globes. And Fist Rockbone? He’s one of the worst action heroes that has appeared on screen. And Kalgan was one of the lamest bad guys in decades.

I think I'll leave it at this. It's a bad film.

Verdict: */*****
MST3k version: ****/*****


Matt Ramone said...

But Fist Rockbone? one of the best action hero names ever!

Matt Ramone said...

Dude, I saw two of the raddest movies ever yesterday. The first was Invasion of the Bee Girls, which involved lesbian scientists killing men by draining them of their sexual energy and the fist-throwing G-Man out to stop them.

The other was In Hot Pursuit, aka Polk County Pot Plane. Words fail to describe how awesome it was. It was like Cheech and Chong meets the Dukes of Hazzard, and there are at least four - FOUR - car chase scenes.