Wednesday, July 08, 2009

The Final Sacrifice

The Final Sacrifice is a 1990 Canadian adventure film.

The film stars Christian Malcolm as Troy McGreggor, Bruce J. Mitchell as Zap Rowsdower, Shane Marceau as Satoris, and Ron Anderson as Mike Pipper. And a whole lot of other Canadians. The film was directed by Tjardus Greidanus (no joke).

Bumbling Troy McGreggor (Malcolm), uncovers a number of documents of his long dead father (who looks pretty much exactly like 70’s football player Larry Csonka as refrenced by Mike and the Bots on MST3k's treatment of the film). These documents uncover something like a "hidden civilization" called the "Ziox", which apparently was one of the most powerful civilizations on the planet. Troy soon is in way over his head, and a cult leader, Satoris (Marceau), is hot on his trail. Luckily for Troy, he hitches a ride with Zap Rosdower (Mitchell), a perpetually inebriated character with a shady past an a chip on his shoulder.

The film only gets more ridiculous as the seconds tick on. From the silly names, to the silly plot, this film could be a case study as to exactly how you don't want to have a movie end up like. So the "Ziox" were so powerful, huh? Why did they just disappear, and why would one of their cities buried underground in the CANADIAN ROCKIES? Perhaps they just moved to a better climate.

By the end of the film you can just tell they're trying to figure out a way to end the thing. So that's exactly what they do. Zap. It's over.

However, I have to give them credit - the film was shot for less than 2000 dollars (I'm not sure if that's US or Canadian). I do feel bad for the actors as they didn't get paid - since their contracts stipulated that they'd make money if the movie was a success.

* 1/2 out of *****

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