The Dresden Files

The Dresden Files was a short lived SciFi Channel (now named SyFy) series that aired from January to April of 2007. The show was based on the The Dresden Files novel series written by Jim Butcher. The series starred Paul Blackthorne, Valerie Cruz, Terrence Mann and Conrad Coates.


Blackthorne played Harry Dresden, a professional wizard. Not a fictional wizard, but an actual one, living in a world where magic is very real, and often very dangerous. Dresden often helps solve unexplained murders, with the often skeptical Lt. Connie Murphy of the Chicago police. He is aided by Hrothbert "Bob" of Bainbridge, a spirit who he owns, and who can not leave the confines of Dresden's house. Warden of the High Council, Donald Morgan, often helps and hinders Dresden in his attempts at weeding out supernatural killers.

I enjoyed this series greatly. I was unfamiliar with the source material before watching the series, so I can not claim to know how faithful the work was to the original source. The series had some obvious tinkering, where they jammed the pilot episode into the 8th episode, which completely threw me off because the characters not only acted differently, but we were essentially being introduced to them all over again. Oh well.

The assumption through most of the summer after the show ended was that the series had been a success, sadly, disappointed fans found out at the start of August that the series would not be renewed for a second season. It ran 12 episodes.

It Came From Netflix: The Dungeonmaster

Well, I reject your reality and substitute my own!

No, these immortal words were not originally spoken by Adam Savage of Mythbusters fame, but by Paul Bradford, computer programmer and champion of all that is good in the world, staring in a film that contains nothing good at all.


I was first introduced to this film at the Washington Psychotronic Film Society, a group of people “dedicated to the the appreciation and defense of: Independent, cutting-edge, student, experimental, anime, off-beat, underground, obscure, super-8, low-budget, classic, forgotten, must-see, and just about anything on film.” The Dungeonmaster is a 1984 science-fiction/fantasy film (originally titled "Ragewar: The Challenges of Excalibrate") starring Jeffrey Byron, Charles Moll and Leslie Wing certainly qualifies. After watching this, no one should be surprised that the movie had seven different directors. Yes, seven directors, those include Dave Allen, Charles Band, John Carl Buechler, Steven Ford, Peter Manoogian, Ted Nicolaou, and Rosemarie Turko. You know you're in for something... unique when the film has that many directors.

The movie concerns itself with a computer programmer named Paul Bradford and his girlfriend Gwen, who along with Paul's artificial intelligence, X-CaliBR8 (Cal), are transported to a dimly lit locale by Mestema, an evil sorcerer. Over the years, Mestema has grown bored, so to entertain his whims and fancies he chooses an opponent to challenge him every few centuries. Out of all the people in the entire planet, he chooses Paul. I suspect he was chosen for his ability to control traffic lights and steal from ATMs with his computer, which is linked up inside his glasses. Perhaps his thievery is to be admired since he only stole 20 dollars from the ATM to buy his girlfriend some flowers.

In this nightmare world, Paul's computer has magically become a wristband computer, and Mestema has confusingly knighted Paul as “Excalibrate” - the film then spends precious time revealing why he's now being called Excalibrate by his captor. Oh yeah, that's his computer's name too! Genius!

He is thrown into Mestema's first challenge, a chase with two "little people" and then a confrontation with a giant rock creature. On my first viewing of this film I wasn't sure what to make of it. At all. It was confusing, the "challenge" didn't really make a whole lot of sense since there was absolutely no setup or reasoning for his actions in defeating the rock creature other than firing a laser at it, oh – we also learn here that Cal can now fire lasers. This development appears to be something devised my Mestema, because there would be absolutely no way that Paul could possibly have developed such a device. Think of the millions that Paul could have made selling this kind of technology. No, it had to have been given to him by Mestema. Though why Mestema would give him such an advantage is a bit odd, especially since he calls Paul's computer a "magic machine," seemingly unaware as to many of its abilities. And thus, each subsequent “challenge” is presented in the same, increasingly redundant way, between scenes where Mestema battles him with absurd dialogue.

Paul then arrives in a cave full of zombies. His attackers are quickly subdued, with almost embarrassing ease. He meets their ruler, or what I can only presume was the ruler of this world – Ratspit. Paul "insults" him by calling him "Spitrat," like the name Ratspit isn't insult enough. Oh, by the way, Ratspit looks pretty much like a jacked up Salacious Crumb from Return of the Jedi. Apparently he wins this challenge because he says "Well, I reject your reality and substitute my own!"

I seriously don't know where they came up with this stuff... He has to save Gwen from the rock band W.A.S.P., using some kind of sound amplifier from Cal to destroy them and save Gwen from having her body rubbed with a machete. This armband machine can do anything! This sequence lasts about a long as a song, so I suspect they thought W.A.S.P. and/or a heavy metal music video would be a draw for the audience. W.A.S.P.’s front man Blackie Lawless appears prominently on the cover of the VHS release of The Dungeonmaster. I'm sure some poor W.A.S.P. fan picked this film up back in the day and was disappointed to find out that Blackie only showed up for 3 or 4 minutes, and most of that was prancing around fondling Gwen with a large knife.


The next challenge finds Paul and Gwen finally reunited together, albeit for a short time, in an ice cave, full of mass murderers and Albert Einstein for some unexplained reason. Completely unexplained. He's simply *there* among these murderers. Again, Paul uses his laser beam from the first challenge to fend off some of the attackers, then gets the idea of throwing a crystal Einstein is holding to destroy the rest. Somehow he figures this out, though I don't know how.

Then, one of the more promising sequences comes along one where Paul is framed as a serial killer (who wouldn't think that with the horrid costume he wore?). This sequence ends up falling to pieces simply because there just isn't enough strength in the rest of the film, plus some of the glaring plot holes that occur during it. In this particular piece it seems that Gwen has forgotten all about Mestema and being tested. I wonder if the film could have been better had they focused primarily on this segment, along with one or two others, instead of giving us more than a handful of mediocre ones.

The next segment has Paul facing a cave creature who throws explosive "things" at him. The cave creature accidentally kills itself and transforms into an Angel and scolds him for coming into the cave. So yes, he wins this one accidentally. I was left scratching my head here. I've seen the film on both VHS and Netflix, so it wasn't like I was missing anything in particular as far as I was aware. It was as if they got partway though this sequence, cut out the substantive parts of it, and then decided to keep the sequence to pad out the story a bit.

The final sequence is a direct rip from The Road Warrior, in a post-apocalyptic setting which once again presents us with a "little" person, with a terrible over-dub on his dialogue, rendering any frame where he appears more like one out of a comedy then whatever this is supposed to be. Both Paul and Gwen apparently lose this contest, though under circumstances that are confusing considering the absolute weakness of some of the previous challenges. At the end of this contest, Mestema and Paul fight in mortal combat, with Mestema falling to... what I would suppose would be his "death." Paul then breaks whatever remaining laws of physics left untouched in this film by pulling himself up from certain death after Cal creates a solid beam of light to pull himself up from the edge of the abyss. The film abruptly ends with Paul and Gwen transported back in their apartment.

Was it really a bored Devil, wanting to test someone "worthy?" Was it all a dream? Was it a group hallucination from carbon monoxide poisoning? Was it Cal all along, trying to teach the two lovebirds to get married? A more fitting question would be simply: Why?... The Dungeonmaster is not a good film by any lengths of the imagination, however the film succeeds in being a great deal of fun, from its music, costumes, hilarious dialogue and nonsensical plot.

Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

Who Framed Roger Rabbit? is the wonderfully fantastic 1988 fantasy film directed by Robert Zemeckis. The film mixes live-action and animation together. It may looks "rough around the edges" today, but it is a revolutionary film.

The film was produced and released by Walt Disney Pictures under the Touchstone banner, and includes Disney (Mickey, and the rest you should be aware of), Warner Bros (Bugs Bunny, and the rest you should be aware of), MGM (Droopy, as well as others), Paramount Pictures (Betty Boop), Universal Studios (Woody Woodpecker), as well as others.

The film stars Bob Hoskins as private detective Eddie Valiant, Christopher Lloyd as the notorious Judge Doom, Joanna Cassidy as Eddie's girlfriend Dolores, Charles Fleischer as the voice of our illustrious title character, and Kathleen Turner as the voice of the sultry Kathleen Turner.

The casting was fantastic. Bob Hoskins plays a great detective. For my entire youth I didn't even know he wasn't a warm-blooded American. Of course in retrospect if you listen closely you can hear the typical "I have a cold voice" that many actors put on to mask the Britishness of their voice – but I digress. Christopher Lloyd was a masterful villain – how he doesn't make it somewhere on the AFI's 100 Villains list I don’t know. And jeez... Jessica Rabbit? I mean, I don't want to get inappropriate... She's not bad, she's "just drawn that way." Oh yeah, "Nice booby-trap".

Animation-wise this is a masterpiece. Most films made which combine animated characters were relegated to simple gimmicks and in musical numbers. This could range from either kind of hokey like the dancing penguins with Dick Van Dike or wonderful but pretty much banned like the film Song of the South. And before you say, hey Chris, what about the Blue Man Group people from Avatar? What about Jar-Jar Binks? Well CGI really has gone a far way, but it's just *not* the same. This isn’t even mentioning that this film did most, if not all of the heavy lifting without the extensive help of computers – unlike later films like Space Jam or Looney Tunes: Back in Action. As an aside to the conversation, Looney Tunes: Back In Action is a far superior to the dated, and pretty lame Michael Jordan vehicle that is actually pretty difficult to watch these days.

The film is jam packed with cameos from just about every famous classic cartoon character that was created in the heyday of Hollywood's golden era. The sheer sight of seeing both Bugs and Mickey on the same screen at the same time is amazing. It's also full of references to sight gags, and other classic gems. I never realized that the Toon Town musical entrance was based on a 1931 Foxy cartoon (Smile, Darn Ya Smile!).

Perhaps the best scene in the entire film is when Eddie enters the club and sees Daffy and Donald in a piano battle. A fan of classic cartoons who wasn't sold on this film's brilliance by this point could never be swayed seeing both ducks, from rival studios together in a honest to goodness film fighting each other. The scene is almost as good as the later scene where Eddie meets Bugs Bunny and Mickey Mouse during an unfortunate time to ask a 'toon for help.

The reason I always come back to it so often is that the film is not designed for only the kids to enjoy. This film is so full of adult themes that I may have a hard time letting my kids watch it until I think they're "ready." It can appear downright crude at times, through the crafty minds behind the film were able to make a lot of the jokes so implied, that without the right context, it'll go right over your head. That's because I did watch this as a kid, and for the life of me most of the mature themes did go straight over my head. It wasn't until I was much older where I really appreciated the subtle nature of the adult humor of the film.

Playing "patty cake" and having Roger get all worked up over a simple game when you watched it as a kid? How about the increasing pitch of her voice during that scene when you watched it when you were older? Woah. That was funny as a kid but taken to a completely different level, perhaps building, as an adult. Oh the joys of my naïve youth. I mean, seriously? Is Jessica Rabbit singing "Why don't you do right?" anything but for the dads who were dragged to see this film?

Honestly the saddest story to come out of this film was that animation director Richard Williams eventually got recognized because of his work on this film, and then subsequently got his life's work, The Princess and the Cobbler, taken away from him. The resulting film is the kind of movie that you see in a Supermarket rack with the rest of the crummy $6.99 DVDs. Occasionally some of the films turn out to be gems, but "Arabian Knight," the bastardized version of William's work is not that film.

The film was a resounding success, the second biggest film of 1988. It spawned 3 short films that appeared before some family and kids movies over the next few years, but no sequel has ever been able to get off the ground. Some rumors have been passing around the last year or so that there may finally be one on the way. I can only hope that it can live up to even half of what the first film was able to. Things have changed and I don't think that a sequel can ever have the same kind of appeal without making it more childish and less adult instead of finding some good balance between the two. But here's hoping.

***** out of *****

Lost Season Five Revisited

Lost continues with its explosive Fifth season, staring Matthew Fox, Josh Holloway, Evangeline Lilly, Henry Ian Cusick, Terry O'Quinn, Michael Emerson, Elizabeth Mitchell, Jeremy Davies, Ken Leung, Rebecca Mader, Jeff Fahey and many many more.

If Season Four was the season that really kicked the show back up a few notches in my book, Season Five threw everything in the blender. Things got c-r-a-z-y this season. The previous season represented major change, and the events this season only get weirder. The episodes are so tightly wound, with threads interwoven so tightly, that flashbacks in one episode may be even more pertinent in another, a small mention in one may turn into something huge in another, and so on.

I complained about Rebecca Mader's Charlotte Lewis, last season. I felt that the cultural anthropologist never really pinned down the role exactly. Either because she was given direction to act like a villain, or tried to play mysterious but just couldn't quite do it, I felt like she was given a whole new lease on life at the start of season five. She drops the "villain/mysterious" act, and is instantly more likable.

Jeremy Davies' Daniel Faraday turns even more absent-minded, spacy, and later on, mopey. I still like him. He still keeps the tie on until he wears a jumpsuit. This is Miles Straume's season to shine. Ken Leung plays the character perfectly, unchanged from the previous season.

Frank Lapidus, the freighter helicopter pilot in season 4, returns in a surprising twist. Frank, compared to many of the characters in this show, simply accept the situations he is placed in

In one of the most infuriating scenes in the entire series, Miles tries to explain to Hurley, the time travel situation they are in. The writers, either to mock the less adept members of the auidence, make Hurley even dumber than he normally is. The situation they're in isn't hard to explain, at all. The icing on the cake is that he appears to one up Miles at the end of the conversation by presenting some sort of "touche" response that is even easier to explain away than the entire "time travel" conversation.

I picked up the Blu Ray for season 5. I found this very interesting when I got to the end of the first disc (included are screen shots of the first and fourth discs):

To help out a bit, here's a episode-by-episode recap of Season Five to catch anyone up before Season Six starts:

"Because You Left" - The Losties who didn't make it off the island, become "unstuck" in time, jumping into the past, present, and possibly future. Lock sees The drug running beechcraft airplane crash and is shot in the leg by Ethan Rom. Juliet, Sawyer, Charlotte, Miles, Faraday head to the old Swan station to ascertain exactly where they are at "in time." Charlotte begins to get terrible headaches and bloody noses begin. The Oceanic Six picks up where they left off at the end of Season 3 and Season 4.

"The Lie" - The Losties on the island head back to camp, and find that a barrage of flaming arrows wait them. All the survivors of 815 run into the jungle to escape certain death. "Frogurt" gets one right to the chest. Men dressed in military uniforms capture the "significant" Losties, but are saved at the last minute by a limping John Locke. Off island, Ben and Jack separate to prepare their return to the island. Ben tries to convince Hurley to return, but instead turns himself in, trying to implicate himself in multiple murders so that he can be locked away, presumably safe.

"Jughead" - This was a phenomenal episode. The Losties interrogate their former captors, and deduce they are in 1954 and that they are Others, one of which is none other than Charles Widmore. Locke talks to a "youthful" Richard Alpert, convincing him to visit himself in two years when he's born (Which occurred in Season 4's "Cabin Fever"). Charlotte's not doing well. Faraday finds the titular Jughead, a thermonuclear device. He's convinced he recognizes Ellie, an Other. Instructions are given to bury it.

"The Little Prince" - More time jumps. Charlotte gets worse. 1988: A French team of scientists come across a floating body, Jin. Pregnant Danielle Rousseau. Norton, suspicious lawyer hired by Ben. Hurley released from jail. Kate convinced that Claire's mom knows the truth, but actually doesn't.

"This Place Is Death" - Sun plans to kill Ben, Ben convinces her that Jin is alive. Eloise is at the Dharma station, "The Lamp Post," a way to get back to the station. James, Juliet, Jin, Miles, Locke get to the Orchid. Faraday stays behind to comfort a incapacitated Charlotte. With her last words being "not allowed to eat chocolate before dinner," she dies. Locke makes it down a old well, but another time flash occurs, sending them way into the past (The Statue is whole). Locke turns the wheel, which had been slightly dislodged when Ben moved the island, and leaves the island.

"316" - opens just like "Pilot, Part 1." Jack, Hurley, and Kate are back on the island. Hours earlier, all the Oceanic Six, Ben and the body of Locke, are on the Ajira Airways Flight 316, piloted by Frank Lapidus. They fly, big flash, they're back on the island. Van pulls up, Jin in Dharma uniform. Frak.

"The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham" - Locke's time from when he left the island to when he got back to the island. Ben killed him. Woah. Frank saves the day by landing the plane on the smaller, Hydra island. Ben is on the island again.

"LaFleur" - James, Juliet, Faraday, Jin, Miles back in 1974. Convince Dharma to let them stay on by claiming they crashed their boat and saving Amy's (Reiko Aylesworth) life. James and Juliet are together. 1977. Everything seems fine until Jack, Hurley, and Kate show up.

"Namaste" - James has to con everyone in the Dharma initiate to convince them that Jack, Hurley and Kate are new recruits. Amy's baby is Ethan Rom. Frak!

"He's Our You" - Sayid Jarrah, now captured and presumed a Hostile (Other). Episode full of flashbacks of what brought him to this point (childhood, working for Ben, being captured by 'bounty hunter,' Ilana). Creepy young Ben returns, breaks Sayid out of Dharma jail. Sayid returns the favor by shooting Ben in the chest.

"Whatever Happened, Happened" - Kate and James try to save young Ben. In a flashback, Kate tells Carole Littleton that she has a grandson named Aaron. Kate also visited Cassidy Phillips, the mother of James' daughter, Clementine. Cassidy is still bitter. Back in 1977, Ben is taken to Richard, to save his life.

"Dead Is Dead" - Dead really is dead. Ben struggles to come to grips with his past, tries to summon the Smoke Monster to be "judged." Flashbacks of Ben taking Alex from Danielle, banishing Charles Widmore from the island. Caesar is unexpectedly killed. Ilana and Bram threaten Frank. "What lies in the shadow of the statue?" Ilana is more than just a bounty hunter.

"Some Like It Hoth" - Miles-centric story. Miles fantastic character. Hurley is an idiot and beginning to test my patience. The construction site of the Swan is finally seen. 4 8 15 16 23 42. "Long time no see," Daniel Faraday is back from Ann Arbor.

"The Variable" - Faraday centric episode. Poor, poor Faraday. Upon second viewing the entire episode is tragic, probably far more than any whole episode up to this point. He seems to forget in this episode that, "whatever happened, happened." *Everything* so far, save Desmond's odd time-travel adventures, has been in keeping with this very basic premise. They always went into the past, Ben always was shot, "I'm not allowed to eat chocolate before dinner" always happened, Eloise always shaped her son into the same man who would travel into the past, and his plan will always result in.... well, keep watching.

"Follow the Leader" - Richard centric episode. Too many leaders to count in this episode. Locke, James, Jack, Ben, Locke, Widmore, Eloise, Radzinsky, Horace, and even Richard all lead something in this episode. I like to repeat again, "whatever happened, happened." Jack's an idiot, convinced that Faraday's crazy ramblings actually can change the future, even though his final moments are a realization that his own Mother always knew that she would send her son back in time to be killed, by her. To his credit Jack is not exactly aware of this, but it doesn't change that he hasn't once thought that this entire plan may be The Incident that he first became aware of when he first watched the orientation film back in Season two. Locke plans to kill Jacob. Ooooh.

"The Incident, Parts 1 & 2" - Locke plans to get Ben to kill Jacob. Ooooh. Rose and Bernard! Their cabin looks like Jacob's, but I don't think it is. Oh, cabin burnt now by Ilana. Oh frak, inside the box is.... Locke! Oh and, The Incident just happened. Poor Juliet. "They're coming..."

But if the above wasn't good enough for you, here's the last 5 seasons in 8 minutes and 15 seconds, enjoy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3zvM0EzT7c

Just two more days until Season Six starts.

Lost Season Four Revisited

Lost continues with its explosive Fourth season, staring Matthew Fox, Josh Holloway, Evangeline Lilly, Henry Ian Cusick, Terry O'Quinn, Michael Emerson, Elizabeth Mitchell, Emilie de Ravin, and many many more.

Season Four is the season that really kicked the show back up a few notches in my book. This is where things got interesting again, or more aptly, where they became even more interesting to me.

This season represents major change. Gone were the flashbacks to pointless Jack and Kate back stories. The show was looking forward, three years forward to be exact, following the survivors who made it off the island, the "Oceanic Six." These survivors, Jack Shephard, Kate Austen, Hurley Reyes, Sayid Jarrah, Sun-Hwa Kwon, and baby Aaron made it back to civilization. You'd think they'd be happy, right? Well they're all miserable. Sun is racked with guilt and anger over the fate of her husband, Kate is in constant fear that they'll discover that she's not the mother of Aaron, Jack has survivor guilt and falls into a heavy drinking habit, Hurley goes back into his old mental institution, and Sayid takes out his anger on the orders of Ben. Major action occurs off island, years after the events on the island occurred. Jack who fought so hard to get off the island wants back on and is a broken, sad mess of a man. Ben even realizes this when the "rules were changed" in one of the most depressing scenes in the entire show's history.

The antagonists this season come from a freighter docked a few miles offshore. Kevin Durand's portrayal as Martin Keamy, the leader of a group of mercenaries, is chilling. Durand has always played the wacked out weirdo or bad guy, so his talents are not wasted.

Rebecca Mader joins the cast as Charlotte Lewis, a cultural anthropologist and part of the freighter team. I personally had a hard time accepting her performance, at times it felt bland and silted. It was hard to tell if she was instructed to "play both sides" in her performance, as her role greatly improves later in the season, even though we hardly know the character and have little reason to start liking her any more later on in season 4 than when we're first introduced to her.

Jeremy Davies also joins the cast as another member of the freighter team, Dr. Daniel Faraday, a seemingly absent-minded, almost bumbling physicist. Faraday takes less time getting used to, and I personally took to his character certainly by the 3rd episode of the season, The Economist. I think he wears a tie the entire season.

Miles Straume, played by Ken Leung, is another new face to the cast, a snarky and cocky spiritualist who I really wanted to hate, but grew to like in much the same way that Sawyer grew on me as the show progressed.

Helicopter pilot Frank Lapidus, played by Jeff Fahey, is simply awesome.

The season is truncated, shortened like most shows which came out during the same season, due to the writers strike. Personally, the writers strike may have been the best thing for the show. It forced them to focus on where they wanted to go, figure out what they wanted to do with the show, and allowed them time to really focus on a reasonable endgame for the entire series. By this point they had decided that they wanted to go out in six seasons, and unlike Jay Leno, they're going to stick to it (one can hope).

One last thing to note, I found it quite interesting that the previous season ended and this season ended practically minutes apart from each other.

Now on to Season Five. Just one more week until Season Six starts.

Lost Season Three Revisited

Season Three continues the epic storyline with Matthew Fox, Josh Holloway, Evangeline Lilly, Henry Ian Cusick, Terry O'Quinn, Michael Emerson, Elizabeth Mitchell, Dominic Monaghan, Emilie de Ravin, and many many more.

The first time I watched Season three, I felt that it started off VERY poorly. It in no way felt like it had come off the high point created by the end of the previous season, "Live Together, Die Alone." It almost felt like the series had lost focus.

Looking back, my issues probably stem from the fact that the "mini-season" was a sham. The story is left hanging mid-stream, and doesn't provide any reasonable conclusion or cliffhanger to wrap the "mini-season" up. Perhaps it was just a misnomer, perhaps the people who decided upon that name just didn't care and wanted a cheap answer to explain why they were airing 6 episodes and then taking a three month break before returning with new stories.

If I had some control over the show, I would have put the Jack centric episode, "Stranger in a Strange Land" as the "finale" and started the season off with the Desmond centric episode, "Flashes Before Your Eyes." Desmond's episode is by far the most notable and fantastic episode of the season, it features Flashbacks from my favorite character of the series.

Even though I found "Stranger in a Strange Land" incredibly weak, with an unnecessary and boring flashback, and seemed to only exist to give a guest starring role to irrelevant-but-somehow-notable actress Bai Ling, the episode at least had a half-way interesting on-island story, with some relatively crucial and interesting information provided to the audience. And no, I'm not talking about explaining what Jack's stupid tattoo stood for, which the producers claimed that hard-core Lost fans cared about for some reason. "Stranger in a Strange Land" also provided a real conclusion to the Hydra Island storyline, with Jack finally accepting his place with the Others and traveling off into the horizon, shrouded in shadow as the episode ended. I found this ending leaps and bounds more exciting than "Kate, RUN!" which served as the actual "cliffhanger" of that mini-season when it first aired.

However, with all the trash talk I give towards "Stranger in a Strange Land," it is not the biggest crime that the season thrust upon the viewers. This season introduced people who I would consider the least developed "main" characters EVER introduced into a popular television series in at least a decade. Niki and Paulo, two people added to the regular cast at the start of Season three have no real introduction, they're just *there* one day. "Wait, who the hell are these people?" is what went through my mind the first time I noticed them on screen. They never really develop beyond frustrating, annoying, and terrible characters. I do almost feel bad for the "Brazilian Tom Cruse," who was introduced by the heads of the series as a huge player to the show, only to bomb horribly. Their arc was only marginally resolved in their final episode, "Expose," which turned out to be a really fantastic dark episode.

The season really picks up after "Flashes Before Your Eyes" (aside from my previous mention of the terribly pointless "Stranger in a Strange Land"). From that point on the season is terrific and almost reaches the quality and consistency presented in Season one.

The season finale, "Through the Looking Glass," is riveting, exciting, and shocking. Charlie, a character that I pretty much despised most of season two, and even the first episodes of season three, was fully redeemed in the end. I finally feel like he's grown completely into his character, and his reaction when being beaten by Greta and Bonnie is wonderful. The season ends in something that I can only compare to some mobster's baseball bat slamming into my gut after I neglected to pay someone protection money.

The best episodes of the season were "Through the Looking Glass," "The Man Behind the Curtain," and "Flashes Before Your Eyes." The worst episodes of the season were "Stranger in a Strange Land" and "Left Behind" (side note: why the hell don't they shower and change their clothes at the Barracks before heading back?).

The final season returns February 2nd.

Lost Season Two Revisited

Well Season Two of Lost kicked off with cast, Matthew Fox, Josh Holloway, Evangeline Lilly, Henry Ian Cusick, Terry O'Quinn, Michael Emerson, Dominic Monaghan, Emilie de Ravin, and many many more opening up Pandora's Box, and a plethora of new and exciting storylines.

When I first watched season two, I felt it started off relatively strong, with a number of interesting twists at the very beginning of the season. Unfortunately the show suffered somewhat in its sophomore season, which I thought became obvious towards the middle of the season.

I also thought that "The Other 48 Days" was one the best stories the series aired, which in retrospect I can't agree with watching it again. It wasn't as entertaining as I found it the first time around, and it felt like the entire episode was just a recap of scenes we've already seen. This is disheartening because we haven't seen any of these scenes yet. When first watching the season, I thought the "Henry Gale" arc was pretty terrible. It was drawn out, frustrating, and I thought it was slapped together without thinking more than two episodes ahead.

Well as many may know, this character is not who he seems and takes part of the spotlight in future seasons. This character wasn't originally planned, and if not for Michael Emerson's portrayal, the character would never have been. In retrospect it is an even better set up for season 3 than I originally thought.

My biggest qualm with the season is Michelle Rodriguez. I've never been particularly fond of her in any of her other work. Her characters are generally abrasive, annoying, and I can't take her "tough guy" attitude. So it came to no surprise that Ana Lucia comes off harsh, unlikable, and irritating to me. Partly Michelle Rodriguez's acting, and partly the writing. Her introduction backfires and the character never really is able to shake the initial perceptions cast on her by the audience until her swansong flashback episode.

A joke that stated to gain more and more momentum by this point was that nothing ever happens in the episodes. That you could watch the first 5 minutes and last 5 minutes of an episode and not miss anything. People appear to keep secrets for no particular reason other than to spring them on the unsuspecting party in the closing moments of an episode. Some of the flashbacks this season were pretty, well, underwhelming. Kate's back story had been sucked dry and Jack, well Jack's are starting to look a bit thin. Thankfully the introduction of additional characters and on-island flashbacks added enough meat to the season to keep things fresh.

The Dharma Initiative is introduced. This puzzle really adds to Lost's mythos, a wonderful introduction that pays off quite a lot down the road in subsequent seasons and explains away some "oddities" that appear on an otherwise deserted island.

The best episodes of the season were "Man of Science, Man of Faith," "Lockdown," "?," and "Live Together, Die Alone." The worst of the season were "Fire + Water" and "Dave."

12 Days of Christmas: Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe

Well, I remember my first reactions of this film. While my enthusiasm has diminished quite a deal since the film was first released, I still find myself quite happy with the end results.

I still feel that this film was one of the few gems of 2005. Not to pass over the many fine films that came out this year, but this is one of the few films that I had really been looking forward to that year. I was skeptical at first, wondering if they could actually do the book justice, much like I was skeptical about how well they could do Lord of the Rings justice.

Then I saw the first trailer. I was sold right then and there. It looked the production crew honestly know the source material and what they were doing. I was completely amazed at the entire thing.

The story begins with the opens up with the Pevensie children (Lucy, Edmund, Peter, and Susan) going to the home of Professor Kirke, who lives in the country. It's World War II and the Germans are bombing London, so it's safer to get those children out of the city. One day they are playing hide-and-seek, Lucy comes across a wardrobe and enters. She's entered an entirely new world! No one believes her until they enter as well.

They meet some of the creatures that reside in the magical land, notably the Beaver family. By the way, they look amazingly done in the film. The White Witch is the ruler of this land, a land where it's always Winter and never Christmas. How horrible is that thought? Well they are perused, as the Sons and Adam and the Daughters of Eve (humans) are not welcome in this land.

Aslan, a mysterious Lion (voiced by Liam Neeson) is returning to the land, and the spell that the Witch has placed over the land is beginning to break. Time to rally the troops. Now, in the book they don't dwell too much on the actual battle, but in our age, it would be a major disapointment to not expand and show whats going on, so it looks like we're gonna be given a fantastic battle. A lot of other stuff goes on, but I'm not gonna discuss that in here because, well you need to go see the film.

This is the first story of seven in the Chronicles of Narnia, and as it's looking at the moment, probably the first of three films that will make it to the big screen.

I was in college when the film came out, and had to drag along one of my good friends to the film. Well, he wasn't a real big fan of the movie, but I loved it. Prince Caspian was strong in may respects, but doesn't have the same *feel* that I got when watching this film. Fox Studios picked up Voyage of the Dawn Treader, which will be out December 10th.

**** out of *****

Has The Asylum done it right for once?

On my birthday this past weekend, my buddy Jonathan and I were perusing The Asylum, the wonderful company who has made wonderful movies which were knock-offs of films such as:

100,000,000 BC ... 10,000 BC
Alien Vs Hunter ... Alien Vs Predator
I Am Omega ... (A mix of "Omega Man" and "I am Legend")
Snakes on a Train ... Snakes on a Plane
Transmorphers ... Transformers
The Da Vinci Treasure ... The DaVinci Code

Well we came across the trailer for the upcoming Princess of Mars, based on the Edgar Rice Burroughs science fiction novel.

Well, while I don't know how good or bad the script is based on this teaser, nor do I know how well acted it is, I do have to say that the effects do appear to be of much higher quality than I'm normally used to (the ones in the War of the Worlds films they made were "terrible"). It also has filters applied to it and something other than the "set the camera down and shoot" style that many of these films have.

I'm not that familiar with the work itself, but I'm not sure that Antonio Sabato Jr. can really pass himself off as Virginian Confederate soldier, John Carter. Though judging on one of the screen shots I saw, I'm guessing he's just going to be a modern day US Soldier.

The film will be released December 29, 2009. We'll then be able to see if they've infused a little passion into this production.

12 Days of Christmas: The Avengers

Too Many Christmas Trees is an episode of the Avengers, the classic 1960s british detective and spy show staring Diana Rigg as Emma Peel and Patick Macnee as John Steed.

Too Many Christmas Trees doesn't contain a lot of "Christmas" in the story, but is set in December, with Steed and Mrs. Peel traveling to a Christmas party. The story mainly consists of a group of people who are trying to psychically control John Steed's actions. The story heavily involves Dickens, with notable instances of "A Christmas Carol" being introduced into the story during the Christmas party.

The episode deviates slightly from the normal formula that the show normally revolves around, where the team is brought in to solve a case or mystery. The story involves an organization going after Steed himself. The episode prior to this "Two's a Crowd" also follows this same formula.

Lost: Season One Revisited

Spurred on by my Brother's quest to watch all the episodes of Lost before the Season 6 premiere in February, I've joined in as well. This started on December 6th. I finished Season one on December 11, only delayed slightly by the fact I have a good paying job that I have to go to and that I had to catch up on the first nine episodes of "Better Off Ted" on Hulu (before the episodes expired). This Grand Lost Viewing has pushed back my upcoming Christmas viewing slightly, but only by a few days. However, 5 days is nothing. I was able to watch this season in roughly 19 hours straight, with a short break for pizza for dinner with some of my good college friends, Matt, Ellis, and Stephanie (though she chickened out and didn't stick around for the entire thing).

Well Season One of Lost kicks off with a cast comprising of Matthew Fox, Josh Holloway, Evangeline Lilly, Terry O'Quinn, Dominic Monaghan, Emilie de Ravin, Naveen Andrews, Emilie de Ravin, Jorge Garcia, Maggie Grace, Yunjin Kim, Daniel Dae Kim, Harold Perrineau, Malcolm David Kelley, and Ian Somerhalder.

So Season one is over, and it didn't fail to impress, just as always. Lost's first season is at the moment the strongest season they made. Full of emotional highs and lows, even in the weakest episodes there are worthwhile moments. Essentially it was almost completely flawless, which as I've said before is something that very few series are capable of and every show yearns for.

The episodes I found to be strongest this season were Walkabout, with one of the most heart wrenching moments I've seen on a television show; The explosive Pilot, with the greatest opening to a television series ever; and the season finale, Exodus. The episodes I found to be weakest this season were Charlie's flashback-centric episodes and "All the Best Cowboys Have Daddy Issues" which I just couldn't quite connect with.

Something that my brother noticed that I have to agree with was that the flashbacks are handled quite differently in this season than later seasons. The first batch of episodes were primarily filled with flashbacks that focused on brief glimpses of the character's pasts. Most of the back stories presented were well integrated into their respective stories, allowing for a good idea of where the character was, and where they were now. The few that didn't do this well were Charlie centric-flashback episodes.

The cliffhanger ending of season one caused one of the most painful and long waits I had to endure in my entire television-watching life.

Jules Verne's Mysterious Island

Jules Verne's Mysterious Island, a 1961 film, is based on the novel of the same name by Jules Verne is a loose sequel to 1954's 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea staring Michael Craig, Joan Greenwood, Michael Callan, Gary Merrill and Herbert Lom. The movie was directed by Cy Endfield.

The story is about a group of Union Civil War prisoners who escape prison just as Ulysses S. Grant and the Union Army capture Richmond at the end of the war. They take a balloon and capture a Confederate soldier while they make their getaway. Unfortunately they are caught up in a severe storm, which blows them thousands of miles off course, deep into the Pacific Ocean. Yep, all the way from Richmond to the Pacific. Record time. World records broken. When the storm has finally ended, they find themselves on a bizarre island which is inhabited by huge, fearsome creatures, and a mysterious host behind it all.

The Bernard Herrmann score was brilliant, one of his best works. It takes some of the best elements he used in Citizen Kane with cues from North By Northwest. Not at all bad.

But the truly amazing thing about this film is the effects. This is a Ray Harryhausen film. It has all of his trademark stop motion photography, and for the most part it's well done, especially when you consider that they did all of this without the aid of computer technology to assist them. The only downside are the flock of seagulls that for some reason were animated (as in cartoon) instead of just going out and finding a bunch, or going without them altogether. The same issue crops up occasionally in Hitchcock's The Birds so it may be more about the time than anything else.

One striking thing to note about the film is that the explanation behind why the creatures were actually there/made wasn't really explained, well at all. Some make a certain amount of sense in that you would want to experiment with some creatures to see if it was possible, but I would suspect that most people would consider giant bees to be, well, not the best idea. For those who watch the film, you'll catch my drift about two specific creatures near the end of the film. The book may explain this, but somehow I never read this particular movie.

If anyone recognizes the director's name, Cy Endfield, it's the man who who directed Zulu 3 years later.

Verdict *** 1/2 out of *****

FlashForward

"And it shall come to pass in the last days, saith God, I will pour out of My Spirit upon all flesh: and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams"
- (Acts 2:17)

What would happen if you passed out for 2 minutes and 17 seconds, and saw where you would be in 6 months? What kind of life could you lead if you knew what would happen in the future? Would you try to stop it or accept it as the inevitable?

Watch the first episode here.

What is real?

"Death to the demoness Allegra Geller!"

Well this just happened to be a major coincidence when going through my queue and knocking out some movies. I watched the science fiction film eXistenZ, and immediately followed it with the horror/thriller, My Little Eye which I will review tomorrow - both which co-star Kris Lemche.

eXistenZ is a 1999 science fiction film written and directed by David Cronenberg (yes, the "A History of Violence" and "Eastern Promises" director).

Much to my suprise, the cast is almost entirely made up of pretty well known peopl Jennifer Jason Leigh, Jude Law, Ian Holm, Willem Dafoe, Don McKellar (the only guy I didn't reconize from the main cast), Callum Keith Rennie (Leoben Conoy on "Battlestar"), Christopher Eccleston (Doctor #9 from Doctor Who), Sarah Polley, and as a minor role, Kris Lemche.

The film takes place in the not too distant future, where a virtual reality system has become extremely popular, at least to the vast majority of the people out there. Jude Law play Ted Pikul, ordered to protect the eXistenZ game designer Allegra Geller, played by Jennifer Jason Leigh from a small but radically opposed group out to kill her.

I wasn't entirely convinced by the film, but after hearing some negative word of mouth from it, I came away less disappointed than I figured I would be. While elements are similar to The Matrix which came out soon after this film, it really doesn't resemble much of it other than questioning what is real - so don't expect that if you plan on watching.

The film delves into what is reality and what isn't. If VR is as real as reality, then how can you tell what is real and what isn't? Will you ever know if you're really in the real world?

*** out of *****

The Phantom Empire

This 1935 film serial (12 parts) has Gene Autry's Cowboy, horse riding, adventurer duke it out with a futuristic hidden empire. This multiple part adventure (which ends up being just shy of 3 hours) is exactly what you would expect from a serial of its day.

The serial stars Gene Autry, Frankie Darro, Betsy King Ross, Dorothy Christy, and Lester 'Smiley' Burnett.

Gene runs a radio program that must be performed every single day, at the same time, or he'll lose his ranch. Yep you read that right - he should have read his contract. His creditors must not trust him. This recurring point of contention to get back to sing a song even with fantastical things going on around the main characters happens in just about all six parts of this serial. This was done so that Autry could sing in almost all the parts.

Okay, so the plot picks up after the first part when some scientists show up (and you know they are up to no good since one of them has a goatee). They're on the search for radium, though the exact reasons why they are looking there are unclear and left to the audience to guess (probably power or just better funding for their department). The important thing is that they want it, and want it badly. They're on the hunt for the super secret Murania, which is interesting because for an "unknown" civilization that has been cut off from the world for 100,000 years they sure know a lot about it.

The children in the story, Frankie and Betsy (played by... Frankie and Betsy) are in charge of a club, the Jr. Thunder Riders ("To the Rescue!"), based on a group of mysterious riders who they attributed a sound like thunder as they charged through the local valley (this area of the United States is real busy!). These unknown riders turn out to be the real Thunder Riders. Frankie and Betsy lucked out and came to the same logical name as the real deal did.

So throughout the series there are many twists and turns (many of which turn out differently the "next week" after the previous episode was shown - a typical convention during that time period), and they enter the hidden city 25,000 feet, or is it 20,000, or is it 5 miles? Consistency people! The serial had two "continuity" people! But hey, it’s a serial and it was great fun.

*** out of *****

The Final Sacrifice

The Final Sacrifice is a 1990 Canadian adventure film.

The film stars Christian Malcolm as Troy McGreggor, Bruce J. Mitchell as Zap Rowsdower, Shane Marceau as Satoris, and Ron Anderson as Mike Pipper. And a whole lot of other Canadians. The film was directed by Tjardus Greidanus (no joke).

Bumbling Troy McGreggor (Malcolm), uncovers a number of documents of his long dead father (who looks pretty much exactly like 70’s football player Larry Csonka as refrenced by Mike and the Bots on MST3k's treatment of the film). These documents uncover something like a "hidden civilization" called the "Ziox", which apparently was one of the most powerful civilizations on the planet. Troy soon is in way over his head, and a cult leader, Satoris (Marceau), is hot on his trail. Luckily for Troy, he hitches a ride with Zap Rosdower (Mitchell), a perpetually inebriated character with a shady past an a chip on his shoulder.

The film only gets more ridiculous as the seconds tick on. From the silly names, to the silly plot, this film could be a case study as to exactly how you don't want to have a movie end up like. So the "Ziox" were so powerful, huh? Why did they just disappear, and why would one of their cities buried underground in the CANADIAN ROCKIES? Perhaps they just moved to a better climate.

By the end of the film you can just tell they're trying to figure out a way to end the thing. So that's exactly what they do. Zap. It's over.

However, I have to give them credit - the film was shot for less than 2000 dollars (I'm not sure if that's US or Canadian). I do feel bad for the actors as they didn't get paid - since their contracts stipulated that they'd make money if the movie was a success.

* 1/2 out of *****

City of Lost Children (La cité des enfants perdus)

This movie is weird. I mean bizarrely weird.

City of Lost Children is a French fantasy film that fits into the "steampunk" sub-genre. What's "steampunk" you may ask? Well the film takes characteristics of a more advanced society, but more closely resembles a late-Victorian and Edwardian era in terms of architecture and intricate designs. If that escapes you, just think H. G. Wells and Jules Verne. If that doesn't get you - maybe you've played the game Bioshock.

The world created in this film is entirely unique and unlike anything I had ever seen before. The story loosely revolves around a city bathed in darkness which (for those who pay attention to such things in this city) is experiencing a wave of child kidnappings. Just a note, the city is not bathed in darkness like the film Dark City has its city bathed in darkness, this is just a decision by the filmmakers to set the mood. This sets the film in a completely fantasy world, as it can't possibly be set at the turn of the century, and would not likely take place anytime in the future.

The film stars Ron Perlman as One, Daniel Emilfork as Krank, Judith Vittet as Miette, Dominique Pinon as "le scaphandrier" and The Clones, Jean-Claude Dreyfus as Marcello, Geneviève Brunet and Odile Mallet as "The Octopus," and Jean-Louis Trintignant as the voice of Irvin.

The story take a turn when the character, One (Perlman) witnesses his "father" being stabbed and soon afterward has his younger "brother" Denrée stolen away from him. His search eventually has him cross paths with a bank of children theves. The young ringleader of this group is Miette (Vittet) wants One to beat it, but One is persistent. He finds that these young theseve are forced to steal by their Orphanage, run by the Octopus (Geneviève Brunet and Odile Mallet), Siamese twins. Due to One's strength, he's perfect for their next job they have planned for the children to steal.

A series of events spur on One and Miette to uncover a greater mystery and conspiracy that threatens all the youth of their city. On an old oil rig out in the sea, lives Krank (Emilfork) a man unable to dream. He kidnaps children in the hopes that their innocence will allow him to understand dreams and have some himself. He lives on this island with a woman, multiple clones, and an intelligent brain that is housed in a tank.

This film is really like a surreal dream (or nightmare). It is one of the most visually interesting films I've ever seen in my entire life. The character interaction is wonderful, Perlman does a fantastic job and Vittet does a wonderful job in the role of Miette, I can't say I've seen anything else she's been in but she's one of the better child actors out there. I am fully aware that this is film will not be everyone's cup of tea - but for me the attention to detail sells it. Astounding, absolutely astounding.

**** out of *****

Heroes Season 3: Volume 3

Volume 3: Villians was the continuing saga of how not to run a television show that at one point was actually relatively good.

The main story arc of this season was developed and originally would be part of the second season, but due to the writer’s strike – many of the plot elements were apparently transferred over. Since I’m basing this entirely off my memory – the central story arc of this season was certainly not as well defined as either of the previous two seasons. The “Villains” that we were introduced to were underused, and honestly were not very threatening at times.

Like the second season, the storyline is split up, with storylines competing for airtime in practically every episode. In a way it almost feels as if they divvied up airtime so each character got equal airtime. However, Claire’s storyline apparently grows in this volume (for no reason), as does her importance to something we had never been introduced to before (ret-conned into the show). I guess she has a better agent.

Again we have a story arc that is missing a good central villain, because too much time is focused on Sylar. In this case, Arthur (a new character introduced in this season) should have been the real "big badguy" of the season. The problem here was that Sylar was used far too much and in too many differing ways. Good Sylar, trying-to-be-good Sylar, buddy-buddy Sylar, "brother"-Sylar, and finally Evil Sylar again.

The Jessica-Micca is officially over at this point. However, not to escape Heroes, Ali Larter returns as another character entirely. Those darn compromising photos she has of someone on staff come back to bite the show in the butt! I kid… I kid… (unless it’s true – then you heard it first from me!). The Maya storyline that bogged down Season 2 is almost gone (almost). It still unfortunately rears its head again before disappearing for good.

Most of the people I know who are still watching Heroes are either out of habit or obligation. Volume 4 is a vast improvement, and (almost) worth the wait.

** 1/2 out of *****

Heroes Season Two

Not long ago I went back and re-watched the first season of Heroes, and reviewed it here and here. In my previous reviews of this work, I pointed out the potential and well execution of basically a long, comic book on the small screen.

Season 2 unfortunately does not learn from any of the mistakes it made in the first year, coupled with the writer’s strike of 2007, the season ends up truncated, and unable to fully correct itself before the end.

Unlike the first season, a shift occurs between the minor characters and the main characters in the show. Unlike with the first season where Claire and Peter’s stories were obviously the central focus, the storyline is fragmented, with competing, and largely unrelated storylines competing for airtime in practically every episode. They all get their time, and unfortunately that leaves little progress per episode across the board.

Again, with this season some of the characters are heroes, some are villains. The main story arc of this season deals with a deadly virus, and the possibility that it will be unleashed on the people with special powers, or even the general population. The story still revolves around the Petrelli Brothers, Peter and Nathan; Claire, a teenager who can heal herself; Matt Parkman, a man who can read people’s thoughts; Mohinder Suresh, a doctor living in New York; and Niki, a resident of Las Vegas. David Anders appears as Adam Monroe, and Zachary Quinto returns as Sylar. Dania Ramirez appears as a new character, Maya Herrera, on the run for killing countless people in her home country.

I think the major downfall of the second season was keeping the character Sylar, the main villain of the first season, around after season one ended. With Sylar, the entire "travel across Mexico and the southern US" for nearly the entire season was almost absurd, and unfortunately introduced us to the Niki and Paulo of Heroes (pointless new character from Lost), Maya and her brother. This undermined the character and served to remove whatever menacing aura he had.

At best the season should have seen the return of Sylar at the end of the season. Adam, the character which who was being set up as the big bad guy of the season, should have had the focus. The entire thing became just far too crowded for its own good.

What really sold the show for me in the first season begins to falter and get stale. Hiro, a character I loved starts showing signs that the writers just don’t *get* it. His character is overly enthusiastic, and shows many lapses in judgment that are unlike how the character was presented in season one. The biggest failure of the season was the inclusion of the Jessica-Micca storyline. Season one dragged their storyline on far too long, and this season expands on this, with Micca moving in with his cousins. Their story arc is perhaps the worst of the entire show, and I can only thank the writer’s strike for killing it off.

*** out of *****

Good news in the Shire

A month ago I wrote a blog titled, "A Plea for the upcoming Hobbit film" in which I wrote about a hope for the powers-that-be to not make a "bridging film" for the upcoming Hobbit films.

Well, apparently my hopes weren't dashed after all.

“We’ve decided to have The Hobbit span the two movies, including the White Council and the comings and goings of Gandalf to Dol Guldur,” says Del Toro.

“We decided it would be a mistake to try to cram everything into one movie,” adds Jackson. “The essential brief was to do The Hobbit, and it allows us to make The Hobbit in a little more style, if you like, of the [LOTR] trilogy.”

Good news indeed.