Thursday, August 12, 2010

Comedy Central Roast of David Hasselhoff will likely remain fresh and innovative

As we all have gotten to know the Comedy Central Roasts of the last decade, you never know what to expect. Right?

  • Most the jokes will be cutting edge. In fact, quite a few will be about how huge Pamela Anderson's "rack" is compared to the size of a normal woman's "rack."
  • If the jokes are not about Anderson's "rack," they will be about her sex tape that is over 12 years old. Expect the material to remain creative as ever with numerous jokes about Tommy Lee's large genitals.
  • Of course, as we all know, most jokes will not actually be directed at Hasselhoff. Lisa Lampanelli will be there, and as the second-tier comics always like to tell us: She has sex with so many black guys she's lost count. In fact, she likes to tell us that too so I guess I shouldn't single out her peers. Apparently her audience is stuck in the 1980s and still finds the "taboo" angle clever.
  • Colin Quinn will be there because he hasn't had anything better to do since Comedy Central canceled "Tough Crowd" back in 2004.
  • Greg Giraldo will be loud and unshaven. He will have bed hair and look like he woke up in an alley.
  • Lewis Black, if he appears, will do some innovative material about how angry he is with the world. He will probably talk about how much he hates watching Baywatch re-runs.
  • Jeffrey Ross will be spontaneous and crack a Jewish joke for the first time in his career.
  • Nick DiPaolo will call at least one person a derogatory name in an attempt to elicit a laugh. Of course it will probably be directed at everyone but Hasselhoff.
  • People will wonder how much blow Comedy Central had to give Andy Dick to show up to the Roast.

As fresh and innovative as ever. I can't wait until the next one.

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