Monday, August 02, 2010

Where Superman Returns messed up

Lois Lane. Kate Bosworth may have been the "it" girl a few years running according to Entertainment Weekly a decade ago, but she brought no gravitas to the role. However, I give her one up on Margot Kidder, who acted like an imbecile most of the time. Teri Hatcher is still the best portrayal of Miss Lane.

Kal Penn? He has, what, one freaking line - and a line said when he wasn't even in focus! Poor guy. His role can be summed up with a close-up, blank, wide mouthed stare.

Cheese Platter
In the first scene we're introduced to Lex Luthor in a hammy, Donner/Lester style cheese-scene, instead of starting the movie off with Superman returning to Smallville. The credits created a buildup that was only natural given that after the Luthor introduction, we see Superman crash.

Lois is a Pulitzer prize-winning reporter. How come she asks how many 'f's there are in the word, "catastrophe"?

The movie was too freaking long. I'd probably be able to trim at least 40 minutes off of the running time. There are very few scenes I watched that I didn't think to myself, "That could have been a few seconds shorter." Some scenes I wondered why they weren't completely cut down because it felt like I was watching a rough cut.

The plot was a rehash of Superman: The Movie. I don't really know what else to say. Lex Luthor wants to do another land-grab, real estate scheme. BORING. Where was Darkseid? Where was Brainiac?

I don't have high hopes for the reboot (or is it a sequel this week?). I fully expect another origin story rehash, and another film that has Lex Luthor plotting and scheming. Like half of the movies that came before it. Do you know how boring the Batman films would be by this point if the Joker had shown up in 4 of the movies doing practically the same things in each of them?

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