Deadly Prey

1988
Staring: Cameron Mitchell, Troy Donahue, Ted Prior, Fritz Matthews, David Campbell
Director: David A. Prior

A disgraced Colonel turned mercenary runs a camp where he trains recruits by abducting random people off the streets of Los Angles. Following this so far? However, due to unfortunate circumstances in choosing their victims, they select Mike Danton, who just happens to be an insane killing machine.

That really was a great movie, I don't mean in "wow the cinematography was brilliant", but in the "Wow, Rambo is a great film" arena. It was only partially obvious that they must have run out of money and opted to throw in the financier-wants-recruits-faster and Father-in-law-hunts-for-Mike subplots into the film to pad the explosion budget a bit. Then they must have gotten to a point where they decided to ignore any form of time-elapsing device to show the passage of time hoping that the audience wouldn’t notice. As a result impromptu traps set by Danton spring up seconds after he arrives at a location, just in the nick of time to kill or maim one of his pursuers.

My friend Matt commented that he loved how Col. Hogan instantly knew it was Dalton after seeing his handiwork. And also commented on how Dalton ran home 75 miles to Los Angeles and did not get picked up by the cops for running around in nothing but a mullet and what he referred to as "daisy dukes".

I also understand that it defeats the entire purpose of the movie, but shouldn’t the guy in charge have checked out the “runner” before this even began? It would have saved them a considerable number of recruits.

Quality: */*****
Enjoyability ****/*****
Verdict: **1/2/*****

Lock n Load: Shoot Em Up

Full disclosure: This may be one of the dumbest movies I have ever seen. The plot was so outrageous that at first glance I'm actually surprised that someone green-lit this. The filmmakers choose to completely disregard reality, common sense, and psychics and it was awesome. Watching this film ranks as one of my best cinematic experiences in my entire life.

Shoot Em Up make no promises that you're going to get anything other than what you got in the trailer. What kind of film do you expect it to be when you show a scene in the trailer with a character using food stamps to buy bullets?

A few stats before I get too far into this review:
Gallons of fake blood used in production: 15
Total of guns used by Mr. Smith: 18
Body Count: 106

Clive Owen stars as "Smith", a man who happens to be at the wrong place at the wrong time - and is thrust into a huge convoluted government conspiracy of epic proportions. Paul Giamatti appears in this film, delivering one of the hammiest performances I have ever seen an actor give, all with a completely straight face. He is Elmer Fudd to Clive Owen's Smith, so much so that Owen's character eats carrots throughout the movie and makes reference to Bug's often spoken line, "What's up Doc?" and Giamatti's character has a "Kill the wabbit" ring-tone (from Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries").

I'd place this in the same category as the Crank films. Films like Shoot 'Em Up and Crank are designed to be over-the-top. The are movies that know what they're doing and are made by people that understand not only the genre, but tongue-in-cheek humor. You could contrast a movie such as this with any Jason Friedberg/Aaron Seltzer abomination "Spoof Movie" that not only does not understand the concepts it is poking fun of, but doesn't even seem to comprehend much of anything. This movie gets it. The film even has a "Fresh" rating of 66% on Rotten Tomatoes, a score derived from over 150 reviews. They get it.

The film has also dropped all the pretentiousness that comes with a typical Michael Bay film. No stupid slow-mo shots with bombastic music blowing out anyone's eardrums here. Hot Fuzz was able to take the concept in the other direction, playing up the ridiculousness of films like Bad Boys successfully, by becoming one. Shoot Em Up transcends.

Warehouse fight, check. Hand-to-hand fight in bathroom, check. But there is perhaps one of the most exciting and unique action sequences I have seen in a film towards the end of the movie. Let's just say that it takes place between an airplane and the ground. The green-screen isn't exactly convincing, but the scene is set to AC/DC's "If You Want Blood" and I certainly can't help but smile the entire way through it. Physics and air resistance be damned!

I never saw this film in the theaters, but after seeing it, I wish I had.

It Came From Hulu: The Confession

"Jack's Back!" Well not quite, but this may be the closest audiences will get to seeing our favorite CTU agent for quite a long time.

Emmy award winner Kiefer Sutherland stars in a ten part good verses evil web series drama that can be seen on Hulu (at http://www.hulu.com/the-confession). The series debuted with its first three episodes on March 28th.

Sutherland is "The Confessor," who has arrived at a church for confession with a priest (played by John Hurt). For all the things that the cold-blooded Confessor has done to people, the evil that he has committed, he can't comprehend how people still manage to find faith and the ability to forgive. The Confessor's last "hit" before coming to the church, where his victim prayed and then forgave him before being murdered, has shaken his nihilistic beliefs. The Priest is understandably afraid of this monster, but continues to listen, with a certainly curiosity, to The Confessor out of fear of his congregation's lives.

Each episode runs roughly 6 to 7 minutes long.

The next two episodes are due out on April 4. In the meantime, catch the first three.

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

Butch Cassidy: Alright. I'll jump first.
Sundance Kid: No.
Butch Cassidy: Then you jump first.
Sundance Kid: No, I said.
Butch Cassidy: What's the matter with you?
Sundance Kid: I can't swim.
Butch Cassidy: Are you crazy? The fall will probably kill you.
Sundance Kid: Oh, shit...

While this film never pops to the top of my head when I think of westerns, this is a solid, wonderful, and fun film. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid is a 1969 western, staring Paul Newman and Robert Redford as Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid respectively. The movie was directed by George Roy Hill who went on to direct The Sting and Slaughterhouse-Five.

My favorite westerns are no secret. Sergio Leone's Man with No Name trilogy, which includes A Fistful of Dollars, For a Few Dollars More and The Good, the Bad and the Ugly are always top picks, as well as the crowning achievement, Once Upon a Time in the West. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid certainly ranks up there with the best of them even if the film wasn't shot in Spain and directed by an Italian.

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid is about two bandits, the namesakes of the film, who are out to score big by way of armed robbery. Butch is called out by one of his Hole in the Wall Gang members, but not only beats this hapless member, but takes his advice on a few additional jobs. The second job backfires, and Butch and Sundance are now on the run. They decide that the best place to go is far away Bolivia, which is like somewhere in Central America or something (little do they know...). Soon they become not just American outlaws, but International ones.

My father told me a story about the first time he saw this film when it first premiered. In the row in front of him, he remembers hearing a distraught person who exclaimed that they didn't know the movie would be in Black and White. The entire first scene is in sepia for 6 minutes.

This film is much more light-hearted than many westerns out there. The film is wonderful and perfect escapism. The leads, Paul Newman and Robert Redford, play off each other perfectly. The soundtrack is perfect. "Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head"? Brilliant! That made the scene. The ending to this film is one of the most memorable ever on screen.

*****/*****

Lost Season Five Revisited

Lost continues with its explosive Fifth season, staring Matthew Fox, Josh Holloway, Evangeline Lilly, Henry Ian Cusick, Terry O'Quinn, Michael Emerson, Elizabeth Mitchell, Jeremy Davies, Ken Leung, Rebecca Mader, Jeff Fahey and many many more.

If Season Four was the season that really kicked the show back up a few notches in my book, Season Five threw everything in the blender. Things got c-r-a-z-y this season. The previous season represented major change, and the events this season only get weirder. The episodes are so tightly wound, with threads interwoven so tightly, that flashbacks in one episode may be even more pertinent in another, a small mention in one may turn into something huge in another, and so on.

I complained about Rebecca Mader's Charlotte Lewis, last season. I felt that the cultural anthropologist never really pinned down the role exactly. Either because she was given direction to act like a villain, or tried to play mysterious but just couldn't quite do it, I felt like she was given a whole new lease on life at the start of season five. She drops the "villain/mysterious" act, and is instantly more likable.

Jeremy Davies' Daniel Faraday turns even more absent-minded, spacy, and later on, mopey. I still like him. He still keeps the tie on until he wears a jumpsuit. This is Miles Straume's season to shine. Ken Leung plays the character perfectly, unchanged from the previous season.

Frank Lapidus, the freighter helicopter pilot in season 4, returns in a surprising twist. Frank, compared to many of the characters in this show, simply accept the situations he is placed in

In one of the most infuriating scenes in the entire series, Miles tries to explain to Hurley, the time travel situation they are in. The writers, either to mock the less adept members of the auidence, make Hurley even dumber than he normally is. The situation they're in isn't hard to explain, at all. The icing on the cake is that he appears to one up Miles at the end of the conversation by presenting some sort of "touche" response that is even easier to explain away than the entire "time travel" conversation.

I picked up the Blu Ray for season 5. I found this very interesting when I got to the end of the first disc (included are screen shots of the first and fourth discs):

To help out a bit, here's a episode-by-episode recap of Season Five to catch anyone up before Season Six starts:

"Because You Left" - The Losties who didn't make it off the island, become "unstuck" in time, jumping into the past, present, and possibly future. Lock sees The drug running beechcraft airplane crash and is shot in the leg by Ethan Rom. Juliet, Sawyer, Charlotte, Miles, Faraday head to the old Swan station to ascertain exactly where they are at "in time." Charlotte begins to get terrible headaches and bloody noses begin. The Oceanic Six picks up where they left off at the end of Season 3 and Season 4.

"The Lie" - The Losties on the island head back to camp, and find that a barrage of flaming arrows wait them. All the survivors of 815 run into the jungle to escape certain death. "Frogurt" gets one right to the chest. Men dressed in military uniforms capture the "significant" Losties, but are saved at the last minute by a limping John Locke. Off island, Ben and Jack separate to prepare their return to the island. Ben tries to convince Hurley to return, but instead turns himself in, trying to implicate himself in multiple murders so that he can be locked away, presumably safe.

"Jughead" - This was a phenomenal episode. The Losties interrogate their former captors, and deduce they are in 1954 and that they are Others, one of which is none other than Charles Widmore. Locke talks to a "youthful" Richard Alpert, convincing him to visit himself in two years when he's born (Which occurred in Season 4's "Cabin Fever"). Charlotte's not doing well. Faraday finds the titular Jughead, a thermonuclear device. He's convinced he recognizes Ellie, an Other. Instructions are given to bury it.

"The Little Prince" - More time jumps. Charlotte gets worse. 1988: A French team of scientists come across a floating body, Jin. Pregnant Danielle Rousseau. Norton, suspicious lawyer hired by Ben. Hurley released from jail. Kate convinced that Claire's mom knows the truth, but actually doesn't.

"This Place Is Death" - Sun plans to kill Ben, Ben convinces her that Jin is alive. Eloise is at the Dharma station, "The Lamp Post," a way to get back to the station. James, Juliet, Jin, Miles, Locke get to the Orchid. Faraday stays behind to comfort a incapacitated Charlotte. With her last words being "not allowed to eat chocolate before dinner," she dies. Locke makes it down a old well, but another time flash occurs, sending them way into the past (The Statue is whole). Locke turns the wheel, which had been slightly dislodged when Ben moved the island, and leaves the island.

"316" - opens just like "Pilot, Part 1." Jack, Hurley, and Kate are back on the island. Hours earlier, all the Oceanic Six, Ben and the body of Locke, are on the Ajira Airways Flight 316, piloted by Frank Lapidus. They fly, big flash, they're back on the island. Van pulls up, Jin in Dharma uniform. Frak.

"The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham" - Locke's time from when he left the island to when he got back to the island. Ben killed him. Woah. Frank saves the day by landing the plane on the smaller, Hydra island. Ben is on the island again.

"LaFleur" - James, Juliet, Faraday, Jin, Miles back in 1974. Convince Dharma to let them stay on by claiming they crashed their boat and saving Amy's (Reiko Aylesworth) life. James and Juliet are together. 1977. Everything seems fine until Jack, Hurley, and Kate show up.

"Namaste" - James has to con everyone in the Dharma initiate to convince them that Jack, Hurley and Kate are new recruits. Amy's baby is Ethan Rom. Frak!

"He's Our You" - Sayid Jarrah, now captured and presumed a Hostile (Other). Episode full of flashbacks of what brought him to this point (childhood, working for Ben, being captured by 'bounty hunter,' Ilana). Creepy young Ben returns, breaks Sayid out of Dharma jail. Sayid returns the favor by shooting Ben in the chest.

"Whatever Happened, Happened" - Kate and James try to save young Ben. In a flashback, Kate tells Carole Littleton that she has a grandson named Aaron. Kate also visited Cassidy Phillips, the mother of James' daughter, Clementine. Cassidy is still bitter. Back in 1977, Ben is taken to Richard, to save his life.

"Dead Is Dead" - Dead really is dead. Ben struggles to come to grips with his past, tries to summon the Smoke Monster to be "judged." Flashbacks of Ben taking Alex from Danielle, banishing Charles Widmore from the island. Caesar is unexpectedly killed. Ilana and Bram threaten Frank. "What lies in the shadow of the statue?" Ilana is more than just a bounty hunter.

"Some Like It Hoth" - Miles-centric story. Miles fantastic character. Hurley is an idiot and beginning to test my patience. The construction site of the Swan is finally seen. 4 8 15 16 23 42. "Long time no see," Daniel Faraday is back from Ann Arbor.

"The Variable" - Faraday centric episode. Poor, poor Faraday. Upon second viewing the entire episode is tragic, probably far more than any whole episode up to this point. He seems to forget in this episode that, "whatever happened, happened." *Everything* so far, save Desmond's odd time-travel adventures, has been in keeping with this very basic premise. They always went into the past, Ben always was shot, "I'm not allowed to eat chocolate before dinner" always happened, Eloise always shaped her son into the same man who would travel into the past, and his plan will always result in.... well, keep watching.

"Follow the Leader" - Richard centric episode. Too many leaders to count in this episode. Locke, James, Jack, Ben, Locke, Widmore, Eloise, Radzinsky, Horace, and even Richard all lead something in this episode. I like to repeat again, "whatever happened, happened." Jack's an idiot, convinced that Faraday's crazy ramblings actually can change the future, even though his final moments are a realization that his own Mother always knew that she would send her son back in time to be killed, by her. To his credit Jack is not exactly aware of this, but it doesn't change that he hasn't once thought that this entire plan may be The Incident that he first became aware of when he first watched the orientation film back in Season two. Locke plans to kill Jacob. Ooooh.

"The Incident, Parts 1 & 2" - Locke plans to get Ben to kill Jacob. Ooooh. Rose and Bernard! Their cabin looks like Jacob's, but I don't think it is. Oh, cabin burnt now by Ilana. Oh frak, inside the box is.... Locke! Oh and, The Incident just happened. Poor Juliet. "They're coming..."

But if the above wasn't good enough for you, here's the last 5 seasons in 8 minutes and 15 seconds, enjoy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3zvM0EzT7c

Just two more days until Season Six starts.

Lost Season Four Revisited

Lost continues with its explosive Fourth season, staring Matthew Fox, Josh Holloway, Evangeline Lilly, Henry Ian Cusick, Terry O'Quinn, Michael Emerson, Elizabeth Mitchell, Emilie de Ravin, and many many more.

Season Four is the season that really kicked the show back up a few notches in my book. This is where things got interesting again, or more aptly, where they became even more interesting to me.

This season represents major change. Gone were the flashbacks to pointless Jack and Kate back stories. The show was looking forward, three years forward to be exact, following the survivors who made it off the island, the "Oceanic Six." These survivors, Jack Shephard, Kate Austen, Hurley Reyes, Sayid Jarrah, Sun-Hwa Kwon, and baby Aaron made it back to civilization. You'd think they'd be happy, right? Well they're all miserable. Sun is racked with guilt and anger over the fate of her husband, Kate is in constant fear that they'll discover that she's not the mother of Aaron, Jack has survivor guilt and falls into a heavy drinking habit, Hurley goes back into his old mental institution, and Sayid takes out his anger on the orders of Ben. Major action occurs off island, years after the events on the island occurred. Jack who fought so hard to get off the island wants back on and is a broken, sad mess of a man. Ben even realizes this when the "rules were changed" in one of the most depressing scenes in the entire show's history.

The antagonists this season come from a freighter docked a few miles offshore. Kevin Durand's portrayal as Martin Keamy, the leader of a group of mercenaries, is chilling. Durand has always played the wacked out weirdo or bad guy, so his talents are not wasted.

Rebecca Mader joins the cast as Charlotte Lewis, a cultural anthropologist and part of the freighter team. I personally had a hard time accepting her performance, at times it felt bland and silted. It was hard to tell if she was instructed to "play both sides" in her performance, as her role greatly improves later in the season, even though we hardly know the character and have little reason to start liking her any more later on in season 4 than when we're first introduced to her.

Jeremy Davies also joins the cast as another member of the freighter team, Dr. Daniel Faraday, a seemingly absent-minded, almost bumbling physicist. Faraday takes less time getting used to, and I personally took to his character certainly by the 3rd episode of the season, The Economist. I think he wears a tie the entire season.

Miles Straume, played by Ken Leung, is another new face to the cast, a snarky and cocky spiritualist who I really wanted to hate, but grew to like in much the same way that Sawyer grew on me as the show progressed.

Helicopter pilot Frank Lapidus, played by Jeff Fahey, is simply awesome.

The season is truncated, shortened like most shows which came out during the same season, due to the writers strike. Personally, the writers strike may have been the best thing for the show. It forced them to focus on where they wanted to go, figure out what they wanted to do with the show, and allowed them time to really focus on a reasonable endgame for the entire series. By this point they had decided that they wanted to go out in six seasons, and unlike Jay Leno, they're going to stick to it (one can hope).

One last thing to note, I found it quite interesting that the previous season ended and this season ended practically minutes apart from each other.

Now on to Season Five. Just one more week until Season Six starts.

Lost Season Three Revisited

Season Three continues the epic storyline with Matthew Fox, Josh Holloway, Evangeline Lilly, Henry Ian Cusick, Terry O'Quinn, Michael Emerson, Elizabeth Mitchell, Dominic Monaghan, Emilie de Ravin, and many many more.

The first time I watched Season three, I felt that it started off VERY poorly. It in no way felt like it had come off the high point created by the end of the previous season, "Live Together, Die Alone." It almost felt like the series had lost focus.

Looking back, my issues probably stem from the fact that the "mini-season" was a sham. The story is left hanging mid-stream, and doesn't provide any reasonable conclusion or cliffhanger to wrap the "mini-season" up. Perhaps it was just a misnomer, perhaps the people who decided upon that name just didn't care and wanted a cheap answer to explain why they were airing 6 episodes and then taking a three month break before returning with new stories.

If I had some control over the show, I would have put the Jack centric episode, "Stranger in a Strange Land" as the "finale" and started the season off with the Desmond centric episode, "Flashes Before Your Eyes." Desmond's episode is by far the most notable and fantastic episode of the season, it features Flashbacks from my favorite character of the series.

Even though I found "Stranger in a Strange Land" incredibly weak, with an unnecessary and boring flashback, and seemed to only exist to give a guest starring role to irrelevant-but-somehow-notable actress Bai Ling, the episode at least had a half-way interesting on-island story, with some relatively crucial and interesting information provided to the audience. And no, I'm not talking about explaining what Jack's stupid tattoo stood for, which the producers claimed that hard-core Lost fans cared about for some reason. "Stranger in a Strange Land" also provided a real conclusion to the Hydra Island storyline, with Jack finally accepting his place with the Others and traveling off into the horizon, shrouded in shadow as the episode ended. I found this ending leaps and bounds more exciting than "Kate, RUN!" which served as the actual "cliffhanger" of that mini-season when it first aired.

However, with all the trash talk I give towards "Stranger in a Strange Land," it is not the biggest crime that the season thrust upon the viewers. This season introduced people who I would consider the least developed "main" characters EVER introduced into a popular television series in at least a decade. Niki and Paulo, two people added to the regular cast at the start of Season three have no real introduction, they're just *there* one day. "Wait, who the hell are these people?" is what went through my mind the first time I noticed them on screen. They never really develop beyond frustrating, annoying, and terrible characters. I do almost feel bad for the "Brazilian Tom Cruse," who was introduced by the heads of the series as a huge player to the show, only to bomb horribly. Their arc was only marginally resolved in their final episode, "Expose," which turned out to be a really fantastic dark episode.

The season really picks up after "Flashes Before Your Eyes" (aside from my previous mention of the terribly pointless "Stranger in a Strange Land"). From that point on the season is terrific and almost reaches the quality and consistency presented in Season one.

The season finale, "Through the Looking Glass," is riveting, exciting, and shocking. Charlie, a character that I pretty much despised most of season two, and even the first episodes of season three, was fully redeemed in the end. I finally feel like he's grown completely into his character, and his reaction when being beaten by Greta and Bonnie is wonderful. The season ends in something that I can only compare to some mobster's baseball bat slamming into my gut after I neglected to pay someone protection money.

The best episodes of the season were "Through the Looking Glass," "The Man Behind the Curtain," and "Flashes Before Your Eyes." The worst episodes of the season were "Stranger in a Strange Land" and "Left Behind" (side note: why the hell don't they shower and change their clothes at the Barracks before heading back?).

The final season returns February 2nd.

Lost Season Two Revisited

Well Season Two of Lost kicked off with cast, Matthew Fox, Josh Holloway, Evangeline Lilly, Henry Ian Cusick, Terry O'Quinn, Michael Emerson, Dominic Monaghan, Emilie de Ravin, and many many more opening up Pandora's Box, and a plethora of new and exciting storylines.

When I first watched season two, I felt it started off relatively strong, with a number of interesting twists at the very beginning of the season. Unfortunately the show suffered somewhat in its sophomore season, which I thought became obvious towards the middle of the season.

I also thought that "The Other 48 Days" was one the best stories the series aired, which in retrospect I can't agree with watching it again. It wasn't as entertaining as I found it the first time around, and it felt like the entire episode was just a recap of scenes we've already seen. This is disheartening because we haven't seen any of these scenes yet. When first watching the season, I thought the "Henry Gale" arc was pretty terrible. It was drawn out, frustrating, and I thought it was slapped together without thinking more than two episodes ahead.

Well as many may know, this character is not who he seems and takes part of the spotlight in future seasons. This character wasn't originally planned, and if not for Michael Emerson's portrayal, the character would never have been. In retrospect it is an even better set up for season 3 than I originally thought.

My biggest qualm with the season is Michelle Rodriguez. I've never been particularly fond of her in any of her other work. Her characters are generally abrasive, annoying, and I can't take her "tough guy" attitude. So it came to no surprise that Ana Lucia comes off harsh, unlikable, and irritating to me. Partly Michelle Rodriguez's acting, and partly the writing. Her introduction backfires and the character never really is able to shake the initial perceptions cast on her by the audience until her swansong flashback episode.

A joke that stated to gain more and more momentum by this point was that nothing ever happens in the episodes. That you could watch the first 5 minutes and last 5 minutes of an episode and not miss anything. People appear to keep secrets for no particular reason other than to spring them on the unsuspecting party in the closing moments of an episode. Some of the flashbacks this season were pretty, well, underwhelming. Kate's back story had been sucked dry and Jack, well Jack's are starting to look a bit thin. Thankfully the introduction of additional characters and on-island flashbacks added enough meat to the season to keep things fresh.

The Dharma Initiative is introduced. This puzzle really adds to Lost's mythos, a wonderful introduction that pays off quite a lot down the road in subsequent seasons and explains away some "oddities" that appear on an otherwise deserted island.

The best episodes of the season were "Man of Science, Man of Faith," "Lockdown," "?," and "Live Together, Die Alone." The worst of the season were "Fire + Water" and "Dave."

Lost: Season One Revisited

Spurred on by my Brother's quest to watch all the episodes of Lost before the Season 6 premiere in February, I've joined in as well. This started on December 6th. I finished Season one on December 11, only delayed slightly by the fact I have a good paying job that I have to go to and that I had to catch up on the first nine episodes of "Better Off Ted" on Hulu (before the episodes expired). This Grand Lost Viewing has pushed back my upcoming Christmas viewing slightly, but only by a few days. However, 5 days is nothing. I was able to watch this season in roughly 19 hours straight, with a short break for pizza for dinner with some of my good college friends, Matt, Ellis, and Stephanie (though she chickened out and didn't stick around for the entire thing).

Well Season One of Lost kicks off with a cast comprising of Matthew Fox, Josh Holloway, Evangeline Lilly, Terry O'Quinn, Dominic Monaghan, Emilie de Ravin, Naveen Andrews, Emilie de Ravin, Jorge Garcia, Maggie Grace, Yunjin Kim, Daniel Dae Kim, Harold Perrineau, Malcolm David Kelley, and Ian Somerhalder.

So Season one is over, and it didn't fail to impress, just as always. Lost's first season is at the moment the strongest season they made. Full of emotional highs and lows, even in the weakest episodes there are worthwhile moments. Essentially it was almost completely flawless, which as I've said before is something that very few series are capable of and every show yearns for.

The episodes I found to be strongest this season were Walkabout, with one of the most heart wrenching moments I've seen on a television show; The explosive Pilot, with the greatest opening to a television series ever; and the season finale, Exodus. The episodes I found to be weakest this season were Charlie's flashback-centric episodes and "All the Best Cowboys Have Daddy Issues" which I just couldn't quite connect with.

Something that my brother noticed that I have to agree with was that the flashbacks are handled quite differently in this season than later seasons. The first batch of episodes were primarily filled with flashbacks that focused on brief glimpses of the character's pasts. Most of the back stories presented were well integrated into their respective stories, allowing for a good idea of where the character was, and where they were now. The few that didn't do this well were Charlie centric-flashback episodes.

The cliffhanger ending of season one caused one of the most painful and long waits I had to endure in my entire television-watching life.

Shakedown

Thank God for Hulu's free streaming movies.

Shakedown is a 1988 action movie directed by James Glickenhaus.

The film stars Peter Weller (Robocop, Buckaroo Banzai, 24), Sam Elliott with appearances by Richard Brooks (Law & Order, and for the overzealous Firefly fans, the bounty hunter in the final episode) and John C. McGinley (Scrubs). The rest of the cast I only recognize a few of the people, which isn't very surprising since it's a B-action movie from the 1980s.

Peter Weller is Roland Dalton a Manhattan public defender taking his last case which is to defend a crack dealer Michael Jones played by Richard Brooks who is accused of killing a police officer in Central Park. Jones claims that it was self-defense, and that the officer was a 'Blue Jean Cop.' What's one of those? Well, as Sam Elliott's Richie Marks explains to Weller's Dalton, a 'Blue Jean Cop' is a dirty cop. We know off the bat, that Sam Elliott's character is a fucking badass.

The film unfolds, with Dalton and Marks teaming up to bring down one of the city's drug kingpins and their racket. There's a pretty epic gunfight in the middle of New York's busy streets, with even a set of spring loaded throwing knives thrown in. The chase takes them into the middle of a huge shanty town, which makes the city look more like 1932 than 1988. Sam Elliott's character is a fucking badass.

And as I watched, there was a fight sequence at Coney Island, culminating in a fist fight on a roller coaster. And it proves again that Sam Elliott's character is a fucking badass.

Please watch this film through to the end. The climax, well - is extremely epic. And it proves again that Sam Elliott's character is a fucking badass. There are a few shots of the New York skyline that the current administration would have loved to have had as angles in the photo-op stunt a few months back. If nothing succeeded before, you'll come away realizing that Sam Elliott's character is a fucking badass.

On a side note, Death Wish 4: The Crackdown can be seen on one of the marquees as Marks and Dalton leave another theater (probably seeing The Exterminator or The Soldier, two James Glickenhaus films).

I fully expected it to be schlocky as any late 80s "crime" film could be. The film is pretty derivative of other films, so if you pass over this there are plenty of other films that will fit the bill. It is a film that you can have a few beers and crack a few jokes at. And it has Sam Elliott using semi-automatics and automatics, on hoodlums. What else could you ask for?

** 1/2 out of *****

Doomsday

Doomsday is a post-apocalyptic British film directed by Neil Marshall (The Descent, Dog Soldiers).

The film tells of a future where a 100% fatal virus has infected Scotland, causing the British government to wall off the entire place (Escape from New York style). Years later, the virus which appears to have been contained has a breakout in central London. With this crisis, the government reveals that not everyone appears to have died. A mission is sent into the now closed off Scotland, to recover a potential cure. What they find are punks and people who have regressed centuries due to being cut off from the civilized world.

The film stars Rhona Mitra as Major Eden Sinclair, Bob Hoskins as Bill Nelson, Malcolm McDowell as Marcus Kane, Alexander Siddig as Prime Minister John Hatcher, David O'Hara as Michael Canaris, and Craig Conway as Sol.

The film was brutal and unrelenting in the violence portrayed on screen. So violent it's almost a distraction from the plot. It's not that I don't like violence in my films or that I'm that squeamish (only when something nasty happens to the eyes), I just felt that key sequences appeared to be designed just to show some super violent death or maiming.

* 1/2 out of *****

Tropic Thunder

Tropic Thunder is a 2008 comedy film directed and starring Ben Stiller.

The film is about a crew filming a Vietnam-war movie. The film has just started shooting – but has taken a huge hit already and is bleeding money. An idea is concocted to bring the crew together and really make them “feel” like they’re in the film. Little do they know they have stumbled into a real gang of local drug lords. Hilarity ensues.

Well, I didn’t see this film when it first came out – I haven’t seen that many films since my brother moved away and even before that I used to see films pretty regularly with my buddy Matt back in 2006 and 2007. I believe I went to the movies about once a month – now I go about 4 times a year. I’ve only seen one film in the theaters by myself – Superman Returns – and I refuse to do that again for quite some time.

I hadn’t personally heard any of my friends and colleagues talk about this film but I had heard through the grapevine online that the movie was funny. I also heard that it was horrible, so I didn’t actually get around to seeing it until now. I ended up picking up the “director’s cut” which happens to be 13 minutes longer. I don’t know how much better the theatrical version is because I’ve seen the vast majority of people say that the extended version is nowhere near as good (as I’ve also heard about The 40 Year Old Virgin).

I’ve never really been a huge fan of Ben Stiller. I see some comedy genius there from time to time, but for the most part he plays basically two characters – the nervous, high-strung one from “Meet the Parents” and the idiot one from “Zoolander” or “Dodgeball.” The rest I’ve seen are variations on those basic archetypes. I’m also not a huge fan of Jack Black, for reasons too long to list at the moment – I just find him annoying. With that said, I liked both of their performances in this film. Stiller was still pretty brain-dead, but wasn’t as aware of his stupidity in this film. I still don’t like Matthew McConaughey.

Robert Downey is in top form in this film, and Nick Nolte plays a wonderful supporting part in this film. Tom Cruise’s role was a shocker, and played the role perfectly.

The film starts off with fake commercials and trailers, which are wonderful – not that movies should start doing such things more frequently – but I loved their inclusion here.

The movie is more than a film within a film, and more than a parody of modern action and war films, but it’s an attack directly on Hollywood itself. The ridiculousness of actors, the money behind films, and the politics of the industry (no, not ‘Washingtion politics’ but politics of getting a film made).

I’d suggest this film for a pretty decent number of meaningful laughs.

*** 1/2 out of *****

Ryan Reynolds as The Green Lantern?

Back in February I blogged on my initial thoughts on a Green Lantern film.

Well, they got a director, Martin Campbell (Casino Royale, GoldenEye) - now they have their Hal Jordan. Ryan Reynolds, most recently in the comedy The Proposal and X-Men Origins: Wolverine (and will be in the follow up film, Deadpool), has been cast as the Silver Age hero.

Rambo

Rambo is a 2008 film and the fourth film in the Rambo Series staring Sylvester Stallone.

The film is set primarily in Burma (or what the military junta calls Union of Myanmar), with the plight of the Karen people up front and center. It's interesting as an aside that I was unfamiliar with the Karen people until just a few months ago.

The film stars Sylvester Stallone as John Rambo, Julie Benz as Sarah, Paul Schulze as Michael Burnett, Graham McTavish as the Mercenary Lewis, and Tim Kang (the "Shell Gas" guy) as Mercenary En-Joo.

John Rambo is convinced to help a humanitarian group across the border into Berma to give supplies to the sick and wounded. When the group fails to return, Rambo is asked to lead a group of mercenaries into the area and rescue the humanitarians.

This film is brutal. Absolutely brutal. Body parts fly every which way, the action is outrageous, insane, and grisly. I remember right around the time this film came out there was an interview on a local radio station with Stallone where he talked about how they had made sure that they researched all the weapons, and how the weapons actually "worked." And by worked, I mean how exactly they blew things up. That is, with meticulous detail and precision, to the point where they were sure that a weapon would do this or that to a body.

I have no idea if that story is true, but this film takes current action movies to a different level, where at least they were trying to be a bit more "heartfelt" like the first film was.

*** out of *****

Star Trek

Well, I wasn’t going to see the film. I really wasn’t. I had little interest in seeing it. Funny, considering that I’ve seen all previous 10 films, and have seen every episode of Star Trek, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Star Trek: Enterprise and most of Star Trek: Voyager’s first 5 out of 7 years (The show sucked). I finally took the plunge. And you know, it wasn’t too bad. That is, after you take in account the Swiss-cheese writing, the time-travel “cheat,” and the paper thin “revenge plot.” Outside all of that, it’s not “bad.” Massive spoilers follow.

A Brave New Reality
Apparently Nero’s time travel has created a “new universe” which is completely separate from the Star Trek universe that has existed since 1966. Right off the bat the film ignores one of the central staples of how time travel “works” within the confines of the fictional universe.

The way that the writers (well, mostly Roberto Orci) have described it is that when the mining vessel Narada travels back in time, the very fact that there was time travel means that a “new” universe is created – and that any changes to this past will not affect the future of where the person who traveled into the past came from. Convoluted, confused? Please read on, perhaps it’ll make more sense soon.

Did Nero really create a new universe?
Ignoring the most basic changes to the look-and-feel of the “universe” – something that’s fully acceptable and easy to ignore based on advances in the medium, as we wouldn’t really expect them to stick to 1960’s simplicity, even though it looked pretty good in the Enterprise episode “In A Mirror Darkly” (image at right) which is another story that uses time travel and alternate universes – but I’ll get to that later.

As I read someone put so eloquently, “More disappointing is that this self-serving contrivance for the franchise reboot seems to be the only actual science the film attempts to accurately portray.”

The dreaded “continuity” peaks its head
Well, Nero was not only able to change time from the point that he arrived, but he was also able to change events from before he arrived.

They apparently know what Romulans look like (though this isn’t resolved until Kirk and Spock discover this in 2260-something on the television series). This is a major point of contention as no one knew who Romulans really were. The original story (Balance of Terror) was, in my opinion, a slight analogy to communistic fear – when they discover that Romulans and Vulcans are in-fact the same species – fear and doubt is cast on Spock. No such luck here.

"It's not mentioned in the scene on the Kelvin, but they are aware of it," Abrams confirmed, agreeing with the sharp-sighted fans. "Because later in the movie, Kirk mentions that they were Romulan. And we very purposely begin the film with a moment that, for fans of 'Star Trek,' is a left turn from the timeline they are familiar with." Yep, regardless of what the Mission Impossible III director thinks or feels fans "caught" Abrams. He even points out, "For fans of 'Trek,' yes, the Romulans appearing breaks with what is known to be 'Trek' canon. But that is on purpose." Of course, his explanation is less than stellar, since there’s no purpose beyond taking out any complexity of storytelling – probably with the assumption that the audience is too stupid to understand fine details.

Nero's incursion also apparently caused the Kelvin, a ship 20+ years older than the original 1701 to have nearly as many people (officers, crew, and civilians) on board the vessel as the Enterprise-D and over twice as many people on board as the original Enterprise did before Nero showed up.

And well, the silliest thing is now Pike, someone who is supposed to be “roughly” the same age as Kirk – is now well over 20 years older. Right. I guess because they killed off his father, they needed the “father figure/Obi Wan Kenobi” character to step in. And Chekov has somehow been born 3 years *earlier*. Why didn't they just call this a reboot?

Nonsense
Earth’s defenses are made up of only 7 starships? What about space dock – did Nero destroy that?

Brig? No, their protocol in this alternate universe is to jettison every person out onto the nearest habitable planet instead of putting them in the brig like any person, logical or not, would do. They probably decided that shooting Scotty back into space or onto another planet wasn't worth the effort.

Red Matter that will do whatever the writer's want it to do? A drop will destroy a planet in moments but an entire huge sphere of it (full of tens of thousands of drops) will take minutes to consume and destroy a moderately smaller spacecraft (compared to a planet).

So the ex-suspended cadet is now rank Captain straight out of the academy. Does that make any sense?

Missed Opportunities
The factor that I return to that bothers me the most about this is the time travel “cheat” – they cheated in telling the story about how the crew got together. No matter how you shape your argument, these people are essentially and radically different characters than what was presented in the 1966 series. They have little in common beyond having the same names. Their ages are different, their character backstories are nothing like what was presented before, and some of their character traits don’t resemble the original characters at all.

The basic story could have easily been written to "fit" with the start of Kirk's 5 year mission which began in 2265. Heck, the film could have still been an "alternate reality" film and still stuck to the established back story of the Federation, Enterprise, and crew up until the 5 year mission began. The Enterprise could have still been launched sometime around 2245. It could have still had the two (or so) 5 year missions that Pike took part in. Spock could still have served under Pike for 11 years. Kirk still could have been written to have lived through the Tarsus IV massacre. He still could have served on the Republic and Farragut.

I honestly believe that most of the bitching and moaning that people are doing would have been non-existent if they had stuck to what we knew about all the major characters, instead of completely revising their origins, and ages in some cases. They should have kept the start of the "5 year mission" to when it originally occurred, instead of being started at least 6 years "early".

The film could have easily still been about a Time-traveling Romulan that appears in 2265, soon before Kirk takes command of the Enterprise from Pike.

Ultimately there are only two explanations:

1. This is an alternate timeline/parallel universe before Nero arrives
2. This is an alternate timeline/parallel universe created because of Nero's time travel, the first time in franchise history they’ve done time travel like this.

The “Plot”
All the above culminates with the problems I had with the plot. Unfortunately this movie really doesn't hold up to any sort of heavy scrutiny in the slightest.
Nero’s motivation was pretty weak. His planet is destroyed, so he waits around for 25 years to take his revenge on the guy who was trying to save it? If they had presented the Spock and Nero back-story better, his thirst for revenge would have been more believable.

If there had been some kind of discussion where two sides to “saving” Romulus had been presented – one side being rejected in favor of Spock’s plan (a plan that Nero believed would have worked in time) – we would have some kind of motivation. The way they present it in the film is “well Spock and the Vulcans worked hard to save Romulus, and he didn’t do it in time.” That’s not really sufficient or reasonable evidence for the kind of revenge scheme he concocts.

So he just sits around for 25 years? Super weak.

Results

The writers of the film used "time travel" as carte blanche to create a completely "original" story about characters that happen to share the same names as their original series counterparts, with the occasional nudge and reference to Star Trek lore itself. The movie Galaxy Quest is one simple overnight script revision from being about a fictional Star Trek-like series to being actually about Star Trek.

The biggest shame is that we'll never see the "actual" origins of the 1701 crew from TOS. They still could have done it, even with the Time-travel gimmick. And considering that this iteration of Star Trek most likely does not have a lifespan beyond 3 films since the cast will move on after the 2nd and 3rd films, and Abrams, Orci, and Kurtzman won't be doing this for more than one or two additional films, you're left with either rebooting the franchise again, or actually trying something original. At that point it may be a tough sell to set it in the real Star Trek universe, or take the plunge and set it in this "new" Star Trek universe. Either decision will have major repercussions.

I just hope that this brings in people who will want to watch all the Star Trek that came before it and not just what comes after this.

With all that said, as a “Star Trek” film (ignoring my issues with how they rebooted the franchise), I’d say it is pretty good, but as a general film, it’s being given far too much praise for what the finished product provided us.

*** out of *****

Murderers' Row

In this second Matt Helm installment, we begin to see the law of diminishing returns kick in. The Silencers already began to show signs of a faltering franchise, and that was only the first film!

Again, like its predecessor, Dean Martin appears to love his job. He’s effectively playing himself. He appears to does what he wants and at times I wouldn’t have been surprised if he just ad libbed the entire role himself. Of course he didn’t but he pulls off his performance that way.

Obviously Dean returns in this film to portray Matt Helm. Joining him in this adventure is Ann-Margret, as Suzie, a woman that gets mixed up in whatever nonsensical plot Helm is pursuing. James Gregory returns again as MacDonald.

I have been sitting here for about 20 minutes and have been unable to sum up this film any better than the summary provided on IMDb:

The handsome top agent Matt dies a tragic death in his bath tub - the women mourn about the loss. However it's just faked for his latest top-secret mission: He shall find Dr. Solaris, inventor of the Helium laser beam, powerful enough to destroy a whole continent. It seems Dr. Solaris has been kidnapped by a criminal organization.

That pretty much says it all.

Out of the entire film, I found the opening title probably was the best part of the entire film. Unfortunately that’s saying something. The film is like a train wreck, but it's a fun one to look at.

Next up, The Ambushers.

** 1/2 out of *****

The Silencers

Oh Matt Helm. I usually don’t start my reviews in such a way, but what an awful movie series this turned out to be. I’ve watched all four of the Matt Helm films over the last week, and frankly this one’s the best. And it's not great. The Silencers is the first of four spy spoof films that star Dean Martin as the character, Matt Helm. He plays a part-time agent for ICE (Intelligence and Counter Espionage), where he receives the occasional assignment from.

The films have little in common with their book counterparts, though The Silencers is one of the better attempts during the 60s at a good spy film to spoof the success of James Bond. Our Man Flint is a movie in its own category, where the films themselves are spoofs of the genre, but James Coburn plays it almost completely straight. Dino does not take the same route in this film or the subsequent sequels.

This film is full of meta-jokes, constant mugging for the camera and audience, and cracks about how bad Frank Sinatra music is compared to Dean Martin music. Much of the soundtrack is sung by Dino himself.

There’s not much of a plot here, so I should be able to sum it up in a brief sentence. The bad guys from the Bureau of International Government and Order (BIG O) want to start WWIII.

The main bad guys are played by Victor Buono, Robert Webber, Arthur O'Connell, and Roger C. Carmel (Harry Mudd!). They all play up their roles, with Buono in fake Chinese makeup akin to the old Charlie Chan films. James Gregory (Ursus in Beneath the Planet of the Apes and Sen. Iselin in The Manchurian Candidate) plays MacDonald, head of ICE.

Helm’s partner in this spy film is played by Daliah Lavi. Other “Helm Women” are Cyd Charisse and Stella Stevens. Charisse, performs in the second half of the opening credits singing the song "The Silencer" during the opening credits.

If you know what you’re getting into, the film isn’t bad. If you’re completely oblivious and believe that this is anything other than a corny, cheesy spoof, where Dino breaks character multiple times and where the plot doesn’t make a lick of sense, this film isn’t for you. If you didn’t like this one, the rest definitely aren’t for you.

** 1/2 out of *****

Stargate SG-1: Continuum

Continuum is the second direct-to-dvd film produced after the cancellation of the series, Stargate SG-1.

The movie stars Ben Browder as Cameron Mitchell, Amanda Tapping as Samantha Carter, Christopher Judge as Teal'c, Michael Shanks as Dr. Daniel Jackson, Beau Bridges as Hank Landry and Claudia Black as Vala.

While the first DVD film, Ark of Truth, was a movie that resolved the open storylines that were left open at the end of the series, this film is a completely stand alone film, that requires “no” knowledge of the series plots that have come before it.

The film follows a tried and true (or overused) "alternate reality/time travel" story that is used numerous times throughout the series. Nothing really new here.

While technically the film does not require viewing of the series beforehand, I would say that the experience would be greatly enhanced if the viewer actually watched the series, as the impact of character actions might feel hollow if there is no knowledge of Mitchell, O’Neill, or Jackson is present. Also, the main villain of the film, Ba’al is a reoccurring character in the series (first appearing in the 5th season) would not be so menacing if the viewer had no previous “contact” with him.

*** out of *****

Stargate SG-1: The Ark of Truth

Stargate SG-1’s 10 season was not meant to be its last. The network the series aired on, Sci-Fi decided to cancel the series. MGM, the company that produced the series did not take the news kindly. The series ended, without a real resolution to the current plotline. Without a network to air, the production company turned to the DVD market for an outlet.

The movie stars Ben Browder as Cameron Mitchell, Amanda Tapping as Samantha Carter, Christopher Judge as Teal'c, Michael Shanks as Dr. Daniel Jackson, Beau Bridges as Hank Landry and Claudia Black as Vala. Morena Baccarin, Tim Guinee, and Julian Sands also star.

From Wikipedia:

The movie covers SG-1's attempt to recover the "Ark of Truth", an Alteran device designed to brainwash whoever looks into it. Even though the Ori's promise of Ascension is a lie, the Ancients believed that people should be free to believe it if they wished.

For Stargate, the story itself is okay, though the movie’s only purpose is to wrap up the outstanding plot threads that were not wrapped up in the series. As a stand-alone film, it’s useless. Even with the 15 or so minute recap, there is no way that someone who is not up to speed with the happenings of the previous two seasons would be completely lost.

So thanks goes out for MGM's support of the franchise, since we would never have seen a resolution to the Ori arc if not for them. I stopped watching Stargate Atlantis, a spin-off of SG-1, in the middle of the third season, but I'm not surprised they're taking the same route of "we didn't finish the actual story arc so buy our glorified 2-part episode made into a DVD-film for $15.99"

*** out of *****

Planet of the Apes (2001)

After almost 8 years I finally sat down and re-watched the film.

This is after a binge of watching the original 5 films, the live action TV show, and the horrible cartoon over the last few weeks.

My initial reaction of, "this stinks" has subsided considerably over these past years. With that said, the film is still chock full of "cheesy" moments - the hip-hop teenage apes for example or the silly "ape behavior" moments which feel incredibly forced into the production, using "realism" in moments that end up just appearing embarrassing. The film has talking apes for goodness sakes!

Some of the extremely shoehorned lines from the original don't work out that well. Making Tim Roth of all actors such a one-dimensional bad guy who yells and screams and jumps around for nearly half the film was nearly criminal.


The film stars Mark Wahlberg as astronaut Leo Davidson; Tim Roth as General Thade; Helena Bonham Carter as the human friendly ape, Ari; Michael Clarke Duncan as Attar; Paul Giamatti as slave master Limbo; and Estella Warren as Daena. Others include David Warner, Kris Kristofferson, Erick Avari, and Charlton Heston. Blink and you'll miss the original Nova, Linda Harrison.

Davidson is an Air Force officer, who ends up crashing on an alien planet. Little does he realize that the planet he's crashed on is ruled by, wait for it, Apes. On a race for his life, he must find a way home before being killed.

When judging it against the original film, there's no comparison. The original wins hands down. However, when judging it against the rest of the franchise, the film holds up pretty well, and by my estimation, probably the 3rd best in the series - behind the original and Beneath the Planet of the Apes. It only slightly wins over the fourth film, Conquest of the Planet of the Apes.

** 1/2 out of *****